SPAM Haiku 16601-16700

Move backwards to Numbers 16501-16600.


16601.
The man is a SPAM
You find in a trash can band
Burnt out on cocktails
--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16602.
Democracy blue
With SPAM it never came true
Dub yah eats that stuff

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16603.
I love you my dear
You left me a plate of SPAM
Alive though left out

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16604.
say, verily spam
is not a way you can pay
oh let it be known

--shakawoo69@hotmail.com

16605.
Did I miss something?
SPAM cannot be the answer
It just cannot be

--Blackninja, N/A

16606.
House of Quality.
Our best "quality" even
Hormel would reject.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16607.
The customer is
ignoring us: he likes SPAM.
No GravyRipples.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16608.
SPAMKu is Beauty:
Simple, Concise, Wonderful,
Focused, To The Point.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16609.
Amorphous Image:
"Verify The Quality."
Salty Taste...Big Words.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16610.
The Quality chick:
a blithering clueless SPAM-
Head she proves to be.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16611.
Even glistening
gel could not unconstipate
her stupidity.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16612.
SPAM is French cuisine
compared to Quality folks
around this cesspool.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16613.
K-Y-M-S-S.
Keep Your Mouth Shut, Stupid. No
words out, no SPAM in.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16614.
Intelligence is
found in this room, but is well-
hidden by SPAMSloth.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16615.
SPAM in the blue can.
Is anything else so bad??
Ab-sew-loot-lee YES!!!

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16616.
We will serve up no
Common Sense before its time.
Never in SPAMLand.

--Loser, still@the_boneyard.com

16617.
wretched, wretched SPAM
so little value to us
none the less, haiku

--Anonymous

16618.
Millennium Meat--
a taste that will stay with you
a thousand years--SPAM!

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16619.
Is that a tumor?!
Oh thank God, Lynda's okay
Stuffed her bra with SPAM

--John and Chris, cdeeneen@nyc.rr.com

16620.
Hurling a pink pie
Grim, ugly slapstick routine
Funny but greasy

--John and Chris, cdeneen@nyc.rr.com

16621.
Post-coital moment
Turn head, pink loaf on table
Oh honey, you knew...

--John and Chris, cdeneen@nyc.rr.com

16622.
SPAM is elegance,
Quite delectable with wine,
Like frilled pink salmon.

--Tiffi

16623.
Perky pink color
comes from sodium nitrite;
delight for the eye.

--Milford Pigboy

16624.
Take knife to SPAM loaf,
it cuts like a dream; needs no
refrigeration.

--Milford Pigboy

16625.
Nothing quite says "Good
morning" better than smell of
SPAM frying in pan.

--Milford Pigboy

16626.
SPAM and potatoes:
menu for timid palate
afraid of spices.

--Milford Pigboy

16627.
Did George Hormel dine
on SPAM? I presume he knew
what went into it.

--Milford Pigboy

16628.
The jelly or meat
Which is better in my mouth?
I say it's the meat

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16629.
How do they do it?
Twenty pigs in a tin can
Hormel, the wizard

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16630.
My stomach's query
Who made my meatiest foe?
Hormel, you bastard

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16631.
How could I say it?
My stomach says SPAM's all good
Meant no disrespect

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16632.
I look on the shelf
My old friend sits all alone
SPAMBURGERs it is

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16633.
SPAM is a great meat
Giddy and happy am I
Oh it's good to eat

--Sara Smith, dekrups@aol.com

16634.
Oh, sublime is SPAM
It's Godlike powers I seek
Immortality

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16635.
Love me or leave me
Treet does not compare to it
SPAM is always there

--Sara Smith, dekrups@aol.com

16636.
On a snowy night
It falls cold into the snow
I have lost my SPAM

--Bryan Smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16637.
A SPAM ranch; you say?
All those tiny, little legs!
What are THEY used for?

--daviD, panamacity76013@yahoo.com

16638.
Now my mind wanders
Beside me a can, a fork
SPAM will eat your brain

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16639.
Snow in the window
Warme'd by the oven's fire
I bake SPAM brownies

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16640.
Sweet summer breezes
I make company with SPAM
My dog runs away

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16641.
Can't see my shadow
Under a blanket of fog
Where is my darn SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16642.
The smell of cooking
Fire burning with sweet delight
Warm SPAM on a stick

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16643.
It sits not speaking
but it is never quiet
SPAM whispers darkly

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16644.
I plot its dark doom
Under silent suspicions
SPAM knows that I come

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16645.
How then to kill it
Pink and cold and so slimy
The cold of my fear

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16646.
My fear knows its place
The kitchen above the sink
A can sits untouched

--Anonymous

16647.
Jiggling with purpose
SPAM watches from the kitchen
Uh-oh I'm hungry

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16648.
My tummy rumbles
I am sick of the damn sound
I send it cold SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16649.
Thrust into despair
I checked the house for some food
A can sits alone

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16650.
A full moon is out
Werewolves thicken the green hills
Hunting for pink SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16651.
With sullen remorse
I open the stinking can
SPAM ends my hunger

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16652.
The web keeps me up
The alcohol lets me sleep
SPAM will keep me fed

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16653.
Full of sweet delight
I bring in the groceries
Ten cans of new SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16654.
Working all day long
Bones ache with a throbbing pain
SPAM makes it better

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16655.
Late one dreamy night
I'm awakened by loud sounds
The ghosts of past SPAM

--Tim Hutton, asher275@hotmail.com

16656.
metal enveloped
whole plump sliced pinkness sublime
deliver to me

--SPAMie Mamie, dulceastra@aol.com

16657.
To labor for SPAM
Let us riot for this right
For eight hours we eat

--Alissa, (Tribute to the eight hour day)

16658.
Dubya ascendant,
Who will he enthrone as his
SPAM Secretary?

--edmacc@go.com

16659.
Wonderful SPAM cube
Entering her vagina
Her boyfriend weeps now

--Bleu Can Dude, Bleucollar@webtv.net

16660.
a fatal flaw seen...
there's never enough SPAM here
fear and panic now!

--Bleu can dude, Bleucollar@webtv.net

16661.
The SPAM on the plate
The blinking spam on my screen
Both pink and from pigs

--Ed, ewhite37@hotmail.com

16662.
Be not fooled into
underestimating SPAM.
Its strength will prevail!

--Fozzie

16663.
I have no brain, no
thought, no conscience, no soul. I
am naught. I am SPAM.

--Fozzie

16664.
I may fall thirty
stories onto a cab, yet
survive. I am SPAM.

--Fozzie

16665.
I am craved, yet carved;
tasted, then tossed. You despise
me. I am your SPAM.

--Fozzie

16666.
A million years pass;
mankind has perished. Yet I
persist. I am SPAM

--Fozzie

16667.
Suzy cries and pulls
me from the trash. I am named
Flower. I am SPAM.

--Fozzie

16668.
Anybody out
there? Am I alone? Do I
exist? I AM SPAM!!!!

--Fozzie

16669.
Too tired, too lonely.
To be, or not to be? To
sleep, to dream, sweet SPAM . . .

--Fozzie

16670.
Wanted: Man to share
home; must like children. Husband
left me--I cooked SPAM.

--Rachel R. K., rachel@improvsoup.com

16671.
Would that SPAM could mend
my broken heart. Only in
a pig's eye. Too bad.

--Toni Yannone, sweettonibear@aol.com

16672.
It was a quick death.
SPAM was created for us.
The pig felt nothing.

--Toni Yannone, sweettonibear@aol.com

16673.
New year, new diet.
Cake, pie, bread, whipped cream are banned.
All I eat is SPAM.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16674.
SPAM diet works great.
Ninety days with nothing else.
Now on life support.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16675.
Doc says, "Do Adkins!"
Prescribes the little blue can.
Then calls mortician.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16676.
Ali learned the real
truth of T-Rex when the SPAM
was knocked out of him!!!

--monster_gun, disgruntled@the_boneyard.com

16677.
SPAM-ku makes me smile.
It keeps my brain more active
than GravyPond "life."

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16678.
No definitive
chain of command ensures max
SPAM-fusion for all.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16679.
SPAM is organized
compared to the P-P-R
process. Disgusting!!

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16680.
SPAM Theology:
Put your trust in ground-up pigs
and not live Boneheads.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16681.
Salt preservation
for pig "meat." Here is BoneHead
ossification.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16682.
There is more fat in
1 cc of my brain than
ten blue cans of SPAM.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16683.
Brain overloaded
by flapping gums and nonsense.
I'd rather eat SPAM.

--please_shoot_me, disgusted@the_boneyard.com

16684.
Bob Marley ate SPAM?!
"I hope you like SPAMming, too"
was NOT his lyric!

--Milford Pigboy

16685.
Oh S-P-A-M
No matter how you spell it
Some parts are not meat

--Anonymous

16686.
a hungered desire
empty shelves in the pantry
the solution--SPAM

--Dennis Stapleton, raven712@davesworld.net

16687.
rise up from the can
quicken the keepers of keys
with thy pink splatter

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16688.
Slick odious loaf
Obscenity in a can
Satan's handiwork

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16689.
Evaporation
works its magic on hog waste:
Preserve it in brine!

--Milford Pigboy

16690.
Pickled pig doo-doo
smell as fresh three months later
as when excreted.

--Milford Pigboy

16691.
THOU HAVEST SUPPER
WITH PINK PORK AND CHOPPED LIVER
SPAM IS THE BETTER!

--superkahuna@yahoo.com

16692.
What is this poem?
I contemplate my future
Oh, it's about SPAM

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16693.
Woe is me, it's SPAM
My mother never forgot
Love her forever

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16694.
You're so far away
I waste away at my job
SPAM is on my shelf

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16695.
How could you do this?
You mock me from in your can
Broke the Goddamn Key

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16696.
You bring me such pain
I'd kill you if you weren't meat
SPAM, how I hate you

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16697.
SPAM, I'm so sorry
Please return yourself to me
It was just a joke

--bryan smith, r_b_smith@hotmail.com

16698.
SPAM, I will take thee
Unholy splatrimony
...Mostly in sickness

--Sally Sage, sallysage @prodigy.net

16699.
Bear down on the can
Do not panic...boil water
When it's born, slap it

--Sally Sage, sallysage@prodigy.net

16700.
What then is this SPAM?
Philosophical Puzzle
Best left unexplored

--Dianne Lehmann, dmlehmann@ucdavis.edu


Move forwards to Numbers 16701-16800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.