SPAM Haiku 17301-17400

Move backwards to Numbers 17201-17300.

17301.
What is in the can?
Horse meat, dog meat, pig meat, cow
Close eyes, eat it quick

--Anonymous

17302.
Pink meat on a plate
Last night's leftover SPAM feast
Cold lard on your tongue

--Anonymous

17303.
Pink stuff in a can
What do you think that it is?
Lard plays a big part

--Anonymous

17304.
I'd kill for some SPAM
Pink, wet, lardy, fatty grease
Now that's good eatin'

--Anonymous

17305.
Ten pigs in a sty
Chop, dice, boil, stew, pack in can
Put it on the shelf

--Anonymous

17306.
Eat it every day
Clog your arteries and veins
Die a happy man

--Anonymous

17307.
pink and tender, there
lying on the plate, waiting
for me to eat you.

--John Byer, ma.sir.hitcham.p@talk21.com

17308.
I was wrong!! One more
Monday fleet support SPAM-filled
float and bloat meeting.

--GravyMan, still_slurpin'@the_boneyard.com

17309.
Program SPAMager
saw me but didn't say "Hi."
Still invisible!!

--GravyMan, still_slurpin'@the_boneyard.com

17310.
Gird thy SPAM-fed loins
The dark specter of REAL WORK
Looms large in thy life

--Philosopher Tim,, gravy_slurper@the_boneyard.com

17311.
How can a SPAMHead
Addicted to gravy crust
Ever be useful??

--Philosopher Tim,, gravy_slurper@the_boneyard.com

17312.
Floating...drifting...spammed.
He must stagger from the pond
And now bend his back

--Philosopher Tim,, gravy_slurper@the_boneyard.com

17313.
Gone the email spam
Long days of incompetence
Are now in your past

--Philosopher Tim,, gravy_slurper@the_boneyard.com

17314.
Can he be useful?
Can SPAMslurping dementia
Be cured in this man??

--Philosopher Tim,, gravy_slurper@the_boneyard.com

17315.
i love eating SPAM
it makes my ass bleed real bad
i need to get some

--Anonymous

17316.
The wonderful thing
about SPAM is, that SPAM is
a wonderful thing

--Anonymous

17317.
Pig waste flows from farms
into the pristine rivers;
Please don't eat the fish!

--Milford Pigboy

17318.
Estuaries flush
oh-so-slowly; pig toilets
are not good fish farms!

--Milford Pigboy

17319.
an atomic sky
and a lost cache of SPAM cans
the Four Horsemen ride

--edwina herman a.k.a. ed herman

17320.
Salt-meat mystery
Resplendent byproduct jelled
Salmon-hued, not fish

--Daniel I. Radakovich, daniradakovich@aol.com

17321.
boy bands and game shows
some say it was The SHAM's SPAM
Rome burns while we eat

--e.herman

17322.
a missle silo
a Siberian winter
one push and some SPAM

--eddie herman

17323.
Pre-SPAM the SHAM was
a glint in his father's eye
it's a wicked wind

--ed.herman

17324.
Evenings spent writing
Poems about pork in tins.
Please lock me away!

--John Byer

17325.
Seventeen thousand
Haiku give testament to
Your eternal taste.

--John Byer

17326.
SPAM forgotten? No!
Barbel, tench, chub, carp, and bream
Hold you in esteem.

--John Byer

17327.
Submitting haiku
To this tacky site, cheating
Mortality. Sad!

--John Byer

17328.
Search engine reveals
A site devoted to SPAM.
Obsessed? Yes I am!

--John Byer

17329.
Legendary SPAM,
O meat of countless peons.
Do you blush, reading?

--John Byer

17330.
I believe that SPAM
is very seldom eaten
by football's Jaap Stam.

--Andrew Jay, AJayandCo@aol.com

17331.
Certainly not ham
Definitively not lamb
It's got to be SPAM

--Andrew Jay, AJayandCo@aol.com

17332.
Feeling blue today?
Insert the key of love, turn
In the pink once more

--By Oly for Aya - Oly Popplewell, oly.pop@virgin.net

17333.
I'm sorry I did
My impatience revealed, can't
Turn history back

--By Oly4Aya - Oly Popplewell, oly.pop@virgin.net

17334.
Moment of pleasure
Returns a lifetime of guilt
But it tasted great

--By Oly4Aya - Oly Popplewell, oly.pop@virgin.net

17335.
SPAM, you're fantastic
You don't show your age at all
Don't change, not ever

--By Oly4Aya - Oly Popplewell, oly.pop@virgin.net

17336.
A life without you!
Tell me you'll always be there.
Oh SPAM, I love you.

--By Oly4Aya - Oly Popplewell, oly.pop@virgin.net

17337.
Nummy, yummy SPAM
Lives in an ugly tin can
As it slithers down

--Kit- Kat

17338.
Egg, English muffin,
SPAM: Eggs Benedict Arnold
betrays your colon.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17339.
Since the Cold War is
over, who will dismantle
the bomb shelter SPAM?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17340.
psychonautical
catatonic astronaut
blazing can O-SPAM

--e.herman

17341.
the Darkest corner
where Light--refuses to shine
God of the Id-SPAM

--Ed herman

17342.
minions above ground
the Dead of the Underworld
the doomed cry for SPAM

--edherman

17343.
gaze of a Mantis
a lost civilization
a rusted SPAM can

--e.herman

17344.
The favorites in
Jerry Springer's green room? Big
Gulps and SPAMwiches.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17345.
Pop splip as SPAM cooks
Should I really try pig spice?
Bap! the SPAM explodes

--Andy

17346.
An experiment:
SPAM from hog factories; we
are the guinea pigs.

--Milford Pigboy

17347.
Do the Hormels eat
the SPAM or is it reserved
just for the hired help?

--Milford Pigboy

17348.
I notice the SPAM
Attractive yet revolting
Slip it in the cart

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17349.
How do I stay thin?
Supermodel diet plan:
Binge and purge on SPAM

--Lisa Hise, lhise@lycos.com

17350.
Polygamist Tom
Green, five wives, twenty-five kids:
pantry full of SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17351.
it's greasy grimy
but it's not quite gopher guts
just ham in a can

--vfletcher

17352.
your tin: like the blue
bloated testicles of some
mad porcine robot

--pork harvest

17353.
a gentle prising
of blue carapace and then
pink oblivion

--pork harvest

17354.
Potluck dinner in
the trailer park--a surfeit
of SPAM casseroles.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

17355.
I am fifty-one.
When I grow up, I shall stop
Writing SPAM haiku.

--John Byer

17356.
Another relapse.
Please help me doctor. Today
I've written sixteen.

--John Byer

17357.
Don't you find wonder,
in such creativity
inspired by tinned pork?

--John Byer

17358.
Shakespeare, great writer?
How many SPAM haiku eh?
None. Proves my thesis.

--John Byer

17359.
There was a time once,
when SPAM actually appealed
or was I dreaming?

--John Byer

17360.
Monty Python sketch
brought ridicule to your name.
I shall avenge. Soon.

--John Byer

17361.
In sober moments
I reflect sadly, surely
life has more than this.

--John Byer

17362.
Grey intellectuals
of the next Millennium
read this and despair.

--John Byer

17363.
I beat the needle
I beat the booze, but I can't
kick them SPAM haikus.

--John Byer

17364.
Sadness engulfs me.
My SPAM sandwich awaits me,
but pickle is gone.

--John Byer

17365.
I knew a man once
who admitted, shyly, to
liking SPAM. Honest!

--John Byer

17366.
So much to savor,
your taste, texture, and image.
SPAM--eternal joy.

--John Byer

17367.
A man of talents.
He submitted endless streams
of SPAM haiku. Why?

--John Byer

17368.
A new PR task.
"Give SPAM new look for 01"
Yes! Number sixteen!

--John Byer

17369.
"The Blue Pig" reminds
me of a uniformed cop.
Polyestered SPAM.

--Jacie Andrews

17370.
A SPAM in the bush
is worth two in the cupboard.
Trust me on this one.

--Jacie Andrews

17371.
"Feels squishy and cold."
A handful flies across room,
"Look! It sticks to walls!"

--Jacie Andrews

17372.
Jell-O covered pork.
Lunch and dessert in a can.
I pray key won't break.

--Jacie Andrews

17373.
I now spend my time
writing structured verse about
cans of luncheon meat.

--Jacie Andrews

17374.
platonic essence
of pig-like substance hinting
of another world

--pork harvest

17375.
I used to like SPAM
But what on earth can it be?
Toenails and furballs

--Magenta & Janet, magenta927@yahoo.com

17376.
gelatinous farts
honking from the colon, a
dark secret language

--pork harvest

17377.
a greedy pink feast,
hasty flushing, SPAM returns
to the biomass

--pork harvest

17378.
in the creases of
my soul there resides nothing
but meat-like regret

--pork harvest

17379.
meat-like yet not meat
your cosmic parameters
are a mystery

--pork harvest

17380.
Celera release
SPAM's genotype: Brave new world.
Gelatine horror.

--pork harvest

17381.
please open the tin
and smell the rancid breath of
ancient porcine gods

--pork harvest

17382.
oh I have used you.
I suffer as sweet regret
lines my boxer shorts.

--pork harvest

17383.
who can comprehend
thy fearful salty contents
encased in jelly

--pork harvest

17384.
Recycled MARS food.
SPAM squeezed from tube to mouth then
from colon to tube.

--pork harvest

17385.
Israel rebels
when manna replaced with small
chunks of you know what.

--pork harvest

17386.
Ugly gray pig meat
blessed by sodium nitrate;
SPAM--pretty in pink.

--Dan-Dan of the SPAM can

17387.
NASA launches probe:
Investigate dark matter.
Surprise--it's all SPAM!

--Dan-San of the SPAM can

17388.
Tory no-hoper
William Hague, your only
chance--promise free SPAM.

--John Byer

17389.
SPAM-powered motors,
the end of fossil fuels. Such
fragrant exhaust fumes.

--John Byer

17390.
In future times, SPAM
may be unavailable.
Thank God I live now.

--John Byer

17391.
Work unstintingly
fellow scribes. Together we'll
reach twenty thousand.

--John Byer

17392.
Soon, Melvin Bragg (yawn!)
will introduce a program,
"SPAM Phenomenum."

--John Byer

17393.
I picked up the can.
"Oink!" it said. Race memories.
SPAM was live pigs once.

--John Byer

17394.
One novel, it's said,
in all of us. How many
SPAM haiku? Scary.

--John Byer

17395.
Curtains pulled apart.
Light streams in. First SPAM-ku comes
Unbidden. Be gone.

--John Byer

17396.
With SPAM in one hand
and Coke in the other, Charles
swaggered down the hall.

--Fozzie

17397.
While some prefer to
eat SPAM with milk, Charles likes to
wash it down with Coke.

--Fozzie

17398.
"It's not the taste," Charles
insists. "It's the way the SPAM
sizzles in the Coke."

--Fozzie

17399.
I don't believe Charles,
but on a whim I try Coke
with SPAM. Hmmmm. Not bad.

--Fozzie

17400.
Thanks to Charles, I too
now stroll down the halls with SPAM,
Coke, and a swagger.

--Fozzie