SPAM Haiku 2601-2700

Move backwards to Numbers 2501-2600.


2601.
Upheaval in France:
Crowds seize royal stock of SPAM,
Guillotine own lunch.
--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2602.
The Bard's king declares,
"My kingdom for a horse? Pah!
It's SPAM I desire."

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2603.
SPAM mythology:
Achilles's heel crushes can;
Death by a lunchmeat.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2604.
Aliens return,
Swap Elvis for world's supply
Of SPAM and pork rinds.

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2605.
Renaissance pork art's
Masterpiece in greasy pink:
"SPAM On the Half-Shell"

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2606.
Better than baked beans,
SPAM loaf fuels bowel ballast.
Jet propulsion booms.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2607.
Regurgitation
defined means no bile present.
I define it: SPAM.

--sarahb@lamar.colostate.edu

2608.
It spirals Sputnik-
like; hurling from plate to floor.
Oh good! Flavored SPAM.

--sarahb@lamar.colostate.edu

2609.
Queasy, greasy SPAM
Slithers without propulsion
Across a white plate.

--sarahb@lamar.colostate.edu

2610.
Who says we can't learn
from nature? Gel coating SPAM
Resembles snail trail.

--sarahb@lamar.colostate.edu

2611.
Can you tell it's lunch-
time? SPAM submissions soar with
each tasty forkful.

--sarahb@lamar.colostate.edu

2612.
Not crushing fat glob-
ules but disconcerting sweet-
ness that makes me retch.

--Mark Estes

2613.
The smell of seared pork
Product and volatile oils--
Child camps with parents.

--Mark Estes

2614.
SPAM? Never tried it.
It is scary to have to
eat something so pink.

--Deb Oestreicher, debo@netwalk.com

2615.
Good Jews, we didn't
have SPAM in my house. At times
I regret that lack.

--Deb Oestreicher, debo@netwalk.com

2616.
Lindberg flew at dawn.
He checked his lunchpail rations.
"SPAM! I'm turning back."

--Chuck Hancock, chancock@ix.netcom.com

2617.
"Enough," sighed Chief SPAM.
"Your haiku get worse and worse.
Here, have a sausage."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2618.
"Help, doctor, Hormel
Is here." "Take a haiku with
Your beer." Smart ass quack!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2619.
Too many haiku.
Zounds! I have become a SPAM.
Metamorphosis.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2620.
SPAM on your plate can
Exacerbate all except
Hunger for SPAM, ne?

--May Fuentevilla

2621.
Phantom piglets wail
Lamenting diluted selves:
Bloodless SPAM slices

--Ashley Stinson

2622.
Writing SPAM haiku
More satisfying than SPAM
No need to swallow

--Ashley Stinson

2623.
Boys at the disco--
"Raining SPAM--Hallelujah!"
Society frowns.

--Anonymous

2624.
SPAM, You are neat-o
You smell like Alpo dog food
SPAM, YOU RULE THE WORLD!!!!!

--Anonymous

2625.
Your kingdom for a
horse? No problem. Here's some SPAM.
Plenty horse in that.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2626.
Scientology.
Is it bad as SPAM? Dunno.
But it smells as bad.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2627.
In the hospital,
patient is served SPAM for lunch.
Big malpractice suit.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2628.
The FDA finds
that SPAM isn't good for you.
Wow, that's a surprise.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2629.
Ever notice how
stuff that tastes bad is healthy?
SPAM: The exception!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2630.
Why so much sugar?
Since when is pork supposed to
be so frigging sweet?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2631.
Cafeteria.
Prisoners are given SPAM.
Riot! ATTICA!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2632.
Taco Bell comes out
with new SPAM chimichangas.
Run from the border!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2633.
Lister wolfs down a
SPAM vindaloo, then blows chunks.
Rimmer has a fit.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2634.
I have a nightmare:
Can of SPAM rises from lake.
I wake, drenched in sweat.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2635.
Queeg throws SPAM over
the side; from now on the crew
calls him "Old Pink Stain."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2636.
I bought a product
in a blue box. It sucked. SPAM?
Windows 95.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2637.
Newfound love for meat
I'm eating SPAM every meal
Heart failure ain't cool

--Anonymous

2638.
Surgeon Gen'ral warns:
You can eat SPAM while pregnant
Child death rate triples

--Anonymous

2639.
Sure glad they cancelled
the Super SPAM Collider.
What a waste of pork.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2640.
Strict new safety rule:
"Employees must submit to
random SPAM-testing."

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2641.
Quick, call 911!
"Little sister swallowed SPAM!"
"Induce vomiting."

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2642.
Best safety tip for
New Year's Eve celebration:
Don't eat SPAM and drive.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metricanet.com

2643.
SPAM on a camp-out
Burns as aromatically
As styrofoam cups.

--Mark Estes, Austin, TX

2644.
God said, "LET THERE BE
SPAM," and there was SPAM. "ANOTH-
ER FINE MESS, STANLEY!"

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2645.
"The meaning of SPAM
Is that it has NO meaning."
Riddle of the Sphinx.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2646.
First, Eve gave Adam
SPAM. That's what started it all.
Original SPAM.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2647.
Smart Snob Hormel said,
"Give me a pig that knows his
Place...in a blue tin."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2648.
Izat Begovich,
Slobodan Milosevich:
SPAM upon their land!

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2649.
Ralph SPAMMED my entry
With "brown" and "the" and "sizzle."
Editor "hormell."

--Michele Chapman, KJALPHA2@Eworld.com

2650.
Michele objected
To spam-handed editing.
Marital battle.

--Ralph Chapman, KJAlpha2@Eworld.com

2651.
Cheeks pink as primrose,
SPAM-sculpted. Sweetly dimpling,
Pig-malion smiles

--Paula S. Jordan, jordanp@worldweb.net

2652.
One two three four SPAM.
One two three four five six SPAM.
One two three sex SPAM.

--Pete

2653.
Three lines are not much
to save this poor verse of such
dribbled SPAM I clutch.

--Jeromy

2654.
I think that I shall
Never see a can of SPAM
Lovely as a tree.

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2655.
The British Army
Stockpiled its SPAM in Egypt;
Hence the pyramids!

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

2656.
Beneath flow'ring plums
The lovers feed each other
Tasty SPAM morsels.

--Peter B., Providence, RI

2657.
Late night dogs barking
Trashcan lid so tightly fit
Brother's untouched SPAM

--Gary Beason, beason@convex.com

2658.
Memorex buys SPAM:
TV ads with Chef Prudhomme
Was it life or not?

--Gary Beason, beason@convex.com

2659.
When bombs fall, life dies
Roaches and SPAM all that's left
No can opener

--Gary Beason, beason@convex.com

2660.
Duodenum writhes
In agony. The chyme churns
With the hapless SPAM.

--m. crane

2661.
SPAM Appetizer
Gut wrenches boils from below
Kentucky jet spray

--John P. Tindal, tindalj@bah.com

2662.
Ate a can of SPAM
Gastrointestinal pain
Must go pinch a loaf

--John P. Tindal, tindalj@bah.com

2663.
SPAM, evil on breath
With Mentos, the freshmaker
My odor will cease

--John P. Tindal, tindalj@bah.com

2664.
Welcome SPAM Home Page
Renderings drip from the screen
Fat art in your lap

--Jim Foulkrod, foulkrj@mich.com

2665.
SPAM man surfs the net
with his life's mission ordained
greasing cyberspace

--Jim Foulkrod, foulkrj@mich.com

2666.
SPAM is fattening?
Southern deep-fried turkey-tails!
Ever try those things?

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2667.
There is a "Top Dog."
There's even "Top Banana."
There is no "Top SPAM."

--john.foster@camel.com

2668.
Luke Theall loves SPAM
Topped with mashed 'taters and baked
With mustard and cheese

--Luke Theall, age 13

2669.
Not served in my house
Never had a taste of it
Secretly craving

--The Levines

2670.
A glistening mo-
nolith; sweating marbled pink;
sun-burnt white man's neck.

--Chris Gellermann, l1z9r6d3@aol.com

2671.
I eat the pink pork
like so many M & Ms.
MMMMM good, like my mom.

--Anonymous

2672.
You laugh without grace
I mock your samurai's howl
You pelt me with SPAM

--Dianne, webx@magg.net

2673.
Counting syllables
Is hard work when eating SPAM
But I will try hard

--Anonymous

2674.
Finger licking good,
SPAM is the other white meat,
You're soaking in it.

--Steven S. Deichen

2675.
Buchanan campaign
Rocked by another scandal.
Advisor ate SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

2676.
Global, historic
Ubiquitous, edible
Memorable SPAM

--May Fuentevilla, 71470.3051@compuserve.com

2677.
spam, sleep, bourbon, and
women; these are a few of
my favorite things

--Andy Oliver, aoliver@erols.com

2678.
summer foolishness
mother warned not to be late
spamburgers waiting

--Andy Oliver, aoliver@erols.com

2679.
mom was never home
and dad could only cook spam
now I'm a parent

--Andy Oliver, aoliver@erols.com

2680.
pop the top and shake
candles, champagne, and mozart
press the cloves and bake

--Andy Oliver, aoliver@erols.com

2681.
postwar can and key
scraping off excess jelly
slice to salvation!

--Andy Oliver, aoliver@erols.com

2682.
The sad, lonely prince
asks, "To SPAM or not to SPAM?
That is the question!"

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2683.
We threw out the SPAM;
An ashtray and a planter
We made from the can.

--Hilary Everitt, grindog@nanaimo.ark.com

2684.
After scrutiny,
methinks it is doggie food.
I eat on all fours.

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2685.
The slab's cold surface
Subtle, iridescent hues
I see a rainbow!

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2686.
I pry up the head
and take the wondrous candy
A SPAM flavored Pez

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2687.
Perfect, pinkish, pork
Need a word to describe it?
It's "SPAMalicious!"

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2688.
In my fevered dreams
the SPAM-beast roams the forest
leaving a wet trail

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2689.
Left out for nine weeks
the fleshy loaf is intact.
What is its half-life?

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2690.
Reawakened SPAM
Born of the electric storm
Pulsating slowly

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2691.
Failed experiment.
I kneel on the bathroom tile
retching SPAM chowder.

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2692.
Greasy tin, French bread
on a cracked, plastic table:
A poor man's pâté.

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2693.
Pink extruded meat
encased in cold gelatin.
You are what you eat.

--Dan Beeder, daniel_beeder@jhuapl.edu

2694.
Sweltering heat waves
SPAM fermenting in the sun
The transmutation

--Tamara Stead

2695.
Radiation leaks
Slithering out of its can
The SPAM escaping

--Jennifer Propp

2696.
Alas, woe is me,
the magical porcine treat...
for I have no SPAM.

--Anonymous

2697.
"SPAM haiku and fame!"
Blares the Chicago Tribune.
John Cho is King Spam!

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

2698.
Hormel can't fathom
Why SPAM and haiku mix well.
Never do they laugh.

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

2699.
The rose clenched by teeth,
A Spanish SPAM tragedy,
Sultry meat tango.

--Anonymous

2700.
What a strange web page.
These SPAM haiku submitters:
Too much time on hands.

--bcouch@alantec.com


Move forwards to Numbers 2701-2800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.