SPAM Haiku 5201-5300

Move backwards to Numbers 5101-5200.

5201.
Frozen SPAM on stick
Latest in frozen food or
Marketing mistake?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5202.
Shocked, the victim turns
The car roars into the night
A drive-by spamming

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5203.
"It's over" she wept,
Turned to go, I cursed myself
For SPAM obsession

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5204.
The twisted body
Lies in a pool of jelly
Scrawled word on floor--"SPAM"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5205.
I curse thee, foul SPAM
Smash you with my heavy boot
Hatred in my soul

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5206.
From the fog it came
Lurching on legs of jelly
Evil SPAM horror

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5207.
In the night, a cry
The SPAM of the Baskervilles
Claims one more victim

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5208.
The old man laments
"I frittered away my SPAM"
And sheds a lone tear

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5209.
SPAM predicament
Whether to eat, or behold
Or simply discard

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5210.
Creative impulse
It drives me ever onwards
Limitless haiku

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5211.
Cherished smell, I muse
Of innocence, and canned meat
And of days long past

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5212.
SPAM as purgative
Mix with chutney and warm milk
Drink in one gulp...purge!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5213.
A practical joke:
Feed friend SPAM, say you found it
Get ready to run

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5214.
The SPAM percolates
Drips through a series of tubes
Potent distilled SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5215.
I caught the odor
Could barely make out the shape
Ethereal SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5216.
Archimedes soaks
Pig falls into the bathtub
Eureka! Found SPAM!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5217.
I happened upon...
An evasive can of SPAM
No one could catch it

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5218.
Forensic test shows
Evidence of SPAM presence
We conduct a search

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5219.
I examine SPAM
The electron microscope
Leaves nothing hidden

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5220.
Exceptional SPAM
The salty meat that has spawned
Many a haiku

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5221.
They passed me the plate
Exclaiming reservations
I declined the SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5222.
I stare at the tin
The contents call out to me
Grinning, I approach

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5223.
Modular units
Connect with one another
SPAM cans as house bricks

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5224.
Molecule of SPAM
I know you are here somewhere
Microscopic meat

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5225.
Left in the hot car
The SPAM became molten mess
Soaked into carpet

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5226.
Uniform color
A moist, glistening pink shade
Monochromatic

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5227.
SPAM, it's a short word
Takes a moment to say the
Monosyllable

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5228.
Monument to SPAM
Behold it in its glory
Reaching to the sky

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5229.
This morbid delight
These poems about pig meat
What is wrong with us?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5230.
Awake this morning
Can't recall the night before
Till I see SPAM cans

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5231.
Oh morsel of SPAM
There you sit so patiently
Waiting consumption

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5232.
Mosquito's mistake
Misses my arm, hits warm SPAM
Tiny screams are heard

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5233.
Gathered in a can
Motley collection of pork
Guess it must be SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5234.
Delicious SPAM mousse
Light, frothy consistency
Think I'll pass on that

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5235.
The new SPAM movie
50-foot SPAM attacks town
"Call in Godzilla!"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5236.
Mug of SPAM jelly
I mistook it for coffee
Well, it woke me up

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5237.
Holding SPAM in cheeks
He pretended he had mumps
Took the day off work

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5238.
Oh muse of haiku
Help me with my creation
Seek inspiration

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5239.
A wet, pinkish mush
At the base of skyscraper
Suicide or SPAM?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5240.
A SPAM mutation
Pink block grows legs and six eyes
Runs amok in fridge

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5241.
Take to it with knife
Hack, slash, and maim the small cube
Mutilated SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5242.
The mystique of SPAM
Some of us share its secrets
But we tell no one

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5243.
Naked chunk of SPAM
Stripped of all but your jelly
You wait on my plate

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5244.
SPAM used as napalm
Detonate a giant chunk
Watch the jelly stick

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5245.
It's a narcotic
Chow down at least ten large cans
Feel the SPAM effect

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5246.
While you decline it
The dark regions of your soul
Are craving for SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5247.
Roll in chocolate
Coat with shredded coconut
It's a Spamington

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5248.
Obedient SPAM
Follows me into kitchen
Hops onto my plate

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5249.
Behold! In the can
I found tiny traces of
Edible matter

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5250.
From the kitchen shelf
SPAM calls with alluring voice
"Please consume me now"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5251.
The wind moaned softly
I huddled over the can
Dark, cold nights with SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5252.
The road stretched ahead
I stared at the horizon
Backpack full of SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5253.
The year 2000
Olympic games in Sydney
Let's promote SPAM sports

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5254.
The oppressive scent
I know it's in here somewhere
Secret hidden SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5255.
Blue can of ordure
Breeding place for new life forms?
Or light luncheon meat?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5256.
SPAM origami
Rolled flat, fold it here and here
Look, a little pig!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5257.
When consuming SPAM
Reject the orthodox way
Chew can, discard meat

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5258.
Watch the ouija board
Blue can drifts under fingers
Spelling out OINK, OINK

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5259.
Outlaw blocks the coach
Barks out "Your SPAM or your life!"
Travellers debate

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5260.
The schoolchildren play
The outsider, sad, looks on
Tried to swap Spamwich

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5261.
Scientists probe SPAM
Trying to solve mystery
Inexplicable

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5262.
It slides from the can
I am afraid to inhale
Breathtaking pink chunk

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5263.
Small nugget of SPAM
Resting in your display case
Wonder "Is it art?"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5264.
Dam at Hormel bursts
Outpouring of SPAM jelly
Workers head for hills

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5265.
Taking a small bite
Vitreous jelly coats tongue
I fight gag reflex

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5266.
SPAM sits, so I sing
"SPAM, you'll be my dinner soon"
It still ignores me

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5267.
Deep in the Earth's crust
Fossilized SPAM sits waiting
It's Jurassic SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5268.
Wallowing in SPAM
Too late I see my error
Sink without a trace

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5269.
Carved a boat of SPAM
Lost at sea, must eat something
What a dilemma

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5270.
Locket on a chain
Release the catch to reveal
Sentimental SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5271.
Hit the motherlode
Vein of SPAM runs through coalface
That's where it comes from!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5272.
Lollipop of SPAM
Gave one to a tiny child
I suffer stab wounds

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5273.
SPAM looms from the dark
I recoil in great horror
Damn late night shopping

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5274.
I loiter in store
The staff are staring at me
Ashamed of SPAM love

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5275.
I lost my SPAM can
Don't know where I had it last
Locate it by smell

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5276.
Lounge around the house
Watch TV, eat junky food
Think of SPAM haiku

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5277.
Oh, you loyal SPAM
In times of difficulty
You always amuse

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5278.
I polish my SPAM
It attains a deep luster
Show it to my friends

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5279.
Voluptuous SPAM
Soft round curves, then sharp edges
What more could I want?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5280.
Guillotine blade drops
Slices top clean off SPAM can
Crowd cheers "SPAM for All"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5281.
Run amok with key
Opening can after can
Liberated SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5282.
Oh humble canned meat
Parts compressed, pink block is formed
Encased in steel shell

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5283.
SPAM suppos'tory
"Don't worry, this won't hurt much"
Tears form in the eyes

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5284.
Just sitting at home
A shout is heard from the door
SPAM delivery!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5285.
Hot day, children sit
Musical truck comes down street
Selling SPAM ice cream

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5286.
Cop on megaphone
Says "Step away from the SPAM"
One more Spamjacking

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5287.
"Curséd SPAM!" I screech
Tear at can with tooth and nail
Bleeding, I curse pork

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5288.
Looked down at my feet
SPAM nestled against my shoe
Quick move, it splatters

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5289.
Hanging from the branch
Are small blue cans marked with "SPAM"
It does grow on trees!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5290.
Crazed gunman commands,
"You'll eat it, and you'll like it."
Head bowed, I comply.

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5291.
I was arrested
For cruelty to animals
Fed them only SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5292.
I'll just sit here now
Burn some neurons in my brain
Invent more Spamku.

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5293.
SPAM jelly tanker
Slides off road into house--"Oh
the humanity!"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5294.
My bumper sticker
Warns all the other drivers
Says "I brake for SPAM"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5295.
Loud drone of bombers
Bomb doors open, SPAM is dropped
Citizens panic

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5296.
They try to hide it
Cooking it in strange ways, but
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5297.
"Wanna buy some SPAM?"
He opens his coat to show
Cheap imitations

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5298.
Sure, I've eaten SPAM
Fried in a pan till crispy
Yum, carbonized meat

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5299.
A binge on canned meat
Wake at 3 in the morning
Revenge of the SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au
5300.
Someone stole my SPAM
I called the police for help
"Someone stole your WHAT?"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

Move forwards to Numbers 5301-5400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.

John Nagamichi Cho

SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.