SPAM Haiku 7301-7400

Move backwards to Numbers 7201-7300.


7301.
My dog refuses
SPAM. Therefore I follow his
prudent example.
--Chia Tree, hasler@students.uiuc.edu

7302.
Our nation will thrive
We can hold our heads up high
SPAM is on our side

--Kathryn

7303.
Life hangs on a thread
My world may end without it
The SPAM of my life

--Father Dougal Maguire, N/A

7304.
You see much SPAM go
flying through the air to hit
a man in the head!

--Tommy Witty

7305.
A crowded airport
Contraband SPAM in trousers
Metal detector

--Andrew Gordon, gordona@wsu.edu

7306.
My brain, it eats SPAM!
"Why are you eclectic?" It
screams with tortured rhyme!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7307.
I eat my own flesh.
As for SPAM, it is too late--
The stars have all died.

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7308.
And on the eighth day
God said, "Let there be SPAM!" World
needs food poisoning.

--Ann Skulas

7309.
i love to eat spam
it is my barf in a can
spam oh spam oh spam

--Joe, Skank4ska@rocketmail.com

7310.
THE SPAM OF MY LIFE
IT IS A FORM OF VOODOO
IT HURTS THE HATED

--K, WOO@WOOO@SPIDERBABY@WOO

7311.
Open a blue can
Image of Charlton Heston
Call it Soylent Pink

--Dave, psu17335@odin.pdx.edu

7312.
SPAM: great birth control
Makes lovers bellies so large
Genitals won't touch

--Cholesterol 300

7313.
SPAM is pork shoulders:
Where is the rest of the pig?
Like one hand clapping

--Cholesterol 300

7314.
Queasy decision
Where do pork leftovers go?
In SPAM or dog food?

--Cholesterol 300

7315.
Buy SPAM merchandise
Go proudly: fly the SPAM flag
Hats, snow globes, and shirts

--Cholesterol 300

7316.
Light at tunnel's end
Pinkish glow shall light our way
Look!!! SPAM train coming

--Cholesterol 300

7317.
Tin can cruelty
Heartless food destroys our hearts
High fat irony

--Cholesterol 300

7318.
Gut not in the pink?
Pink pork product antidote?
Pink Pepto Bismol!

--Cholesterol 300

7319.
Home experiment
SPAM left in Coke for a week
Dissolves not a bit

--Cholesterol 300

7320.
Lame, boring entrées:
Dining at a ritzy place
SPAM not on menu!!!!

--Cholesterol 300

7321.
Romantic deceit
She said she loved me, but left
Once the SPAM was gone

--Cholesterol 300

7322.
Change the U.S. flag
It should be red, white, and pink
Hail the SPAM nation

--Cholesterol 300

7323.
Moron Tom Lilly
Eats what comes from his rear end
Should eat SPAM instead

--True Believer

7324.
standing on the edge
a can of SPAM to my head
my taste buds blew up

--Lyric, jsintdkk@msn.com

7325.
pink cube blue can SPAM
rising far above the earth
vomit volcano

--lyric, jsintdkk@msn.com

7326.
Cough, hack, burp, fart, wheeze.
I make these horrible sounds
because of this SPAM.

--Bryant Brandon, thegoat4@airmail.net

7327.
I sometimes wonder
If "The Buddha" gets upset
When I'm eating SPAM

--john springsteen, jspringsteen@sprynet.com

7328.
A new state fair treat
SPAM corn dogs wrapped in fry bread
Medics standing by

--Cholesterol 300

7329.
I ate all my SPAM
SPAM ate a hole in my heart
It burns there also

--lyric, jsintdkk@msn.com

7330.
SPAM is congealing
Left alone in the bright sun
This SPAMku is done

--Al the worm

7331.
Hormelian loaf
Boneless sizzle, pink and pure
Cooks in its own juice

--Stephen A. Carter, scarter@hticn.com

7332.
Chamorran staple
Down-home cooking, Saipan-style
Thank you, GI Joe!

--Stephen A. Carter, scarter@hticn.com

7333.
South-Pacific snack
Calorific overkill
Canned missionary?

--Stephen A. Carter, scarter@hticn.com

7334.
No suicide note
Miami houseboat myst'ry
Just empty SPAM cans

--paul handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7335.
After years old Nate
Found Pol Pot in the jungle
"I took him some SPAM"

--Paul Handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7336.
spam as currency
safe from devaluation
it has no value

--paul handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7337.
"Why? Why!" wailed Charlotte,
Wilbur kidnapped by Hormel.
E.B. White, you brute!

--daniel goldberg, dgoldberg@issiinc.com

7338.
That frigid brick of
sleazy entrails lives no more;
You froze my SPAM, fiend!!!

--Antigone, gerundive@hotmail.com

7339.
I like to eat SPAM
But it tastes even better
With SPAM flavored jam

--alexa shelton

7340.
SPAM's good and slimy
I think I want some today
Why would I do this?

--Anonymous

7341.
Pink, slimy, and odd
SPAM in a can for breakfast
A gelatin feast

--James O., pudsmoke@hotmail.com

7342.
oh, glorious spam
upon my foot doth waffle
thou shalt slip, you know

--Justin "Jesus Christ!!!" Schaefer, uh, what?

7343.
"It's my first time, too,"
he said. But he turned the key
So dexterously.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7344.
"Some pig! I bet he'd
fetch quite a price from Hormel."
Charlotte's a mean drunk.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7345.
Coins wedged in pink slab.
Father was too cheap to buy
A real piggy bank.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7346.
Carefully staple
The last slice of SPAM to sis.
She's pretty in pink.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7347.
A noxious pink cloud
Holding the mugger at bay.
SPAM fart, self-defense.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7348.
In The Pillow Book
Lover's skin makes fine paper
The rest makes fine SPAM

--Anonymous

7349.
In The Pillow Book:
Poems written on entrails
AH! The Book Of SPAM

--Anonymous

7350.
I stub my big toe
I am not hurt 'til I see
SPAM between my toes

--Bob City

7351.
Visitor from space:
"Klaatu Barada Nikto"
(Take me to your SPAM)

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7352.
Science in the news:
Man has brain replaced by SPAM
Thinks unwholesome thoughts

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7353.
Big business lunch
Had SPAM; blew it and the deal
Right out of my ass!

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7354.
Clay, decoration,
Maybe even food product.
SPAM's many uses

--Qwerty

7355.
I'm alone and sad
I could use some love tonight
My thoughts turn to SPAM

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7356.
i haven't ate spam
now I shan't eat it ever
fiddle dee dum dum

--Anonymous

7357.
SPAM IS NOT TASTY
I ATE IT, IT WAS PASTY
WATCH OUT FOR SPAM KILL

--James Miles

7358.
SPAM IS MY NIGHTMARE
SPAM'S MY VERY WORST NIGHTMARE
SPAM IS MY NIGHTMARE

--JON DOE (DOUGHBOY)

7359.
All bow down to SPAM
It is our lord and master
Worldwide Cult of SPAM!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7360.
Almost ate SPAM once
I am still alive, I think
Am I the smartest?

--Deano, deano@globalsite.net

7361.
Dreamt I ate huge SPAM
Slice; now I can't find my pink
Hot-water bottle...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7362.
Is a gathering
Of SPAM vigilantes called
A pork lynchin' meet?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7363.
1926:
Houdini dies--escapes launch
Of Hormel's canned ham...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7364.
Transylvania,
Full moon: can of SPAM stalks the
Streets as THE WEREPIG...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7365.
I thought a SPAMku
Was what we used to use to
Open a SPAM can....

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7366.
Dressed in blue but pink
All over when it comes out:
Transsexual SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7367.
I put a wick in
The greasy can and lit it:
I call it SPAM light!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7368.
1920s: a
Golden Age--while SPAM was yet
To be invented.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7369.
Necessity is
Mother of invention: SPAM
Must be an orphan...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7370.
The porcine muse has
Beaten me about the head
With a pork belly...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7371.
...SPAMku fill my mind
All day. If there's a cure for
This--let me have it!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7372.
I wrote only nine
SPAMku today--the tablets
Must be working now...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7373.
"Jodie Foster hunts
Down pigskin wearing weirdo":
Silence of the SPAMs.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7374.
"Spooky blonde kids seem
To like Hormel canned product":
Village of the SPAM'd.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7375.
"Martin Sheen scours through
SPAMbodia for pig parts":
A Porker Lips Now.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7376.
"Molly Ringwald goes
To high school prom in dress of
SPAM": Pretty in Pink.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7377.
"Tom Hanks becomes an
Adult overnight after
Blow out on SPAM": Pig.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7378.
A mutilated
Pig sued Hormel; didn't have
A leg to stand on.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7379.
i smell spam on you
your heart is worshipping it
you smell as spam does

--The Traveller, travlr1@hotmail.com

7380.
Elbows, mustard, SPAM
Boil fifteen minutes in the
Year of yellow SPAM

--Shmert, sam@prometheus-systems.com

7381.
Read fortunes in SPAM
Each breath from newly opened
Can speaks destiny

--Shmert, sam@prometheus-systems.com

7382.
Grand SPAMku Contest!
First prize: Can of SPAM; Second
Prize: TWO Cans of SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7383.
"If all these SPAMku
were laid end to end..."
: Complete
in six words or less.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7384.
Does the AUTOku
Submission daemon also
Count the syllables?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7385.
Immigrant actor
though surname changed, remains ham--
WAS Jean Claude Van SPAM

--Robert S. Goodman

7386.
Hormel's genocide
Worse than the Nazi death camps
Death in a blue can

--Anonymous

7387.
Your philosophies
Don't take SPAM into account
Thus they can't be true

--Bob City

7388.
Socrates was wise
He knew that he knew nothing
He never ate SPAM

--Bob City

7389.
I have changed my name
I now live in a blue can
I am Mister Spam!

--Bob City

7390.
My girlfriend's fat legs
Remind me that I'm hungry
Come to me Spamkins

--Bob City

7391.
Get into the pink
For low-priced debauchery
Fall in love with SPAM

--Bob City

7392.
It's time to grow up
Put away those childish things
Be a man, eat SPAM

--Bob City

7393.
Get your tongue 'round SPAM:
Only one syllable but
Oh, what a mouthful!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7394.
It's pink, it's wobbly,
It's tasteless and it's tacky;
But it's NOT Divine...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7395.
50s SPAM: "Meat of
1000 Uses". (Shouldn't
That be "Abuses"?)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7396.
SPAM logo boxer
Shorts: one way to find flies on
A Hormel product.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7397.
The SPAMafia:
They make you a lunch offer
That you can't accept.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7398.
I pulled out my MAPS
Alas, they were upside-down
I was seeing SPAM

--Robert the Great, 23@eartling.net

7399.
Dear John, please help me.
Is SPAM meat or a Muppet?
Yours, Confused, Austin.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7400.
Can of SPAM--open,
Upending--aroma, such!
Sliding, slowly--plop!

--The Analog Kid


Move forwards to Numbers 7401-7500.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.