SPAM Haiku 7301-7400

Move backwards to Numbers 7201-7300.

7301.
My dog refuses
SPAM. Therefore I follow his
prudent example.

--Chia Tree, hasler@students.uiuc.edu

7302.
Our nation will thrive
We can hold our heads up high
SPAM is on our side

--Kathryn

7303.
Life hangs on a thread
My world may end without it
The SPAM of my life

--Father Dougal Maguire, N/A

7304.
You see much SPAM go
flying through the air to hit
a man in the head!

--Tommy Witty

7305.
A crowded airport
Contraband SPAM in trousers
Metal detector

--Andrew Gordon, gordona@wsu.edu

7306.
My brain, it eats SPAM!
"Why are you eclectic?" It
screams with tortured rhyme!

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7307.
I eat my own flesh.
As for SPAM, it is too late--
The stars have all died.

--Todd Gifford, mtnmed@erols.com

7308.
And on the eighth day
God said, "Let there be SPAM!" World
needs food poisoning.

--Ann Skulas

7309.
i love to eat spam
it is my barf in a can
spam oh spam oh spam

--Joe, Skank4ska@rocketmail.com

7310.
THE SPAM OF MY LIFE
IT IS A FORM OF VOODOO
IT HURTS THE HATED

--K, WOO@WOOO@SPIDERBABY@WOO

7311.
Open a blue can
Image of Charlton Heston
Call it Soylent Pink

--Dave, psu17335@odin.pdx.edu

7312.
SPAM: great birth control
Makes lovers bellies so large
Genitals won't touch

--Cholesterol 300

7313.
SPAM is pork shoulders:
Where is the rest of the pig?
Like one hand clapping

--Cholesterol 300

7314.
Queasy decision
Where do pork leftovers go?
In SPAM or dog food?

--Cholesterol 300

7315.
Buy SPAM merchandise
Go proudly: fly the SPAM flag
Hats, snow globes, and shirts

--Cholesterol 300

7316.
Light at tunnel's end
Pinkish glow shall light our way
Look!!! SPAM train coming

--Cholesterol 300

7317.
Tin can cruelty
Heartless food destroys our hearts
High fat irony

--Cholesterol 300

7318.
Gut not in the pink?
Pink pork product antidote?
Pink Pepto Bismol!

--Cholesterol 300

7319.
Home experiment
SPAM left in Coke for a week
Dissolves not a bit

--Cholesterol 300

7320.
Lame, boring entrées:
Dining at a ritzy place
SPAM not on menu!!!!

--Cholesterol 300

7321.
Romantic deceit
She said she loved me, but left
Once the SPAM was gone

--Cholesterol 300

7322.
Change the U.S. flag
It should be red, white, and pink
Hail the SPAM nation

--Cholesterol 300

7323.
Moron Tom Lilly
Eats what comes from his rear end
Should eat SPAM instead

--True Believer

7324.
standing on the edge
a can of SPAM to my head
my taste buds blew up

--Lyric, jsintdkk@msn.com

7325.
pink cube blue can SPAM
rising far above the earth
vomit volcano

--lyric, jsintdkk@msn.com

7326.
Cough, hack, burp, fart, wheeze.
I make these horrible sounds
because of this SPAM.

--Bryant Brandon, thegoat4@airmail.net

7327.
I sometimes wonder
If "The Buddha" gets upset
When I'm eating SPAM

--john springsteen, jspringsteen@sprynet.com

7328.
A new state fair treat
SPAM corn dogs wrapped in fry bread
Medics standing by

--Cholesterol 300

7329.
I ate all my SPAM
SPAM ate a hole in my heart
It burns there also

--lyric, jsintdkk@msn.com

7330.
SPAM is congealing
Left alone in the bright sun
This SPAMku is done

--Al the worm

7331.
Hormelian loaf
Boneless sizzle, pink and pure
Cooks in its own juice

--Stephen A. Carter, scarter@hticn.com

7332.
Chamorran staple
Down-home cooking, Saipan-style
Thank you, GI Joe!

--Stephen A. Carter, scarter@hticn.com

7333.
South-Pacific snack
Calorific overkill
Canned missionary?

--Stephen A. Carter, scarter@hticn.com

7334.
No suicide note
Miami houseboat myst'ry
Just empty SPAM cans

--paul handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7335.
After years old Nate
Found Pol Pot in the jungle
"I took him some SPAM"

--Paul Handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7336.
spam as currency
safe from devaluation
it has no value

--paul handley, phand@mozart.inet.co.th

7337.
"Why? Why!" wailed Charlotte,
Wilbur kidnapped by Hormel.
E.B. White, you brute!

--daniel goldberg, dgoldberg@issiinc.com

7338.
That frigid brick of
sleazy entrails lives no more;
You froze my SPAM, fiend!!!

--Antigone, gerundive@hotmail.com

7339.
I like to eat SPAM
But it tastes even better
With SPAM flavored jam

--alexa shelton

7340.
SPAM's good and slimy
I think I want some today
Why would I do this?

--Anonymous

7341.
Pink, slimy, and odd
SPAM in a can for breakfast
A gelatin feast

--James O., pudsmoke@hotmail.com

7342.
oh, glorious spam
upon my foot doth waffle
thou shalt slip, you know

--Justin "Jesus Christ!!!" Schaefer, uh, what?

7343.
"It's my first time, too,"
he said. But he turned the key
So dexterously.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7344.
"Some pig! I bet he'd
fetch quite a price from Hormel."
Charlotte's a mean drunk.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7345.
Coins wedged in pink slab.
Father was too cheap to buy
A real piggy bank.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7346.
Carefully staple
The last slice of SPAM to sis.
She's pretty in pink.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7347.
A noxious pink cloud
Holding the mugger at bay.
SPAM fart, self-defense.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7348.
In The Pillow Book
Lover's skin makes fine paper
The rest makes fine SPAM

--Anonymous

7349.
In The Pillow Book:
Poems written on entrails
AH! The Book Of SPAM

--Anonymous

7350.
I stub my big toe
I am not hurt 'til I see
SPAM between my toes

--Bob City

7351.
Visitor from space:
"Klaatu Barada Nikto"
(Take me to your SPAM)

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7352.
Science in the news:
Man has brain replaced by SPAM
Thinks unwholesome thoughts

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7353.
Big business lunch
Had SPAM; blew it and the deal
Right out of my ass!

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7354.
Clay, decoration,
Maybe even food product.
SPAM's many uses

--Qwerty

7355.
I'm alone and sad
I could use some love tonight
My thoughts turn to SPAM

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7356.
i haven't ate spam
now I shan't eat it ever
fiddle dee dum dum

--Anonymous

7357.
SPAM IS NOT TASTY
I ATE IT, IT WAS PASTY
WATCH OUT FOR SPAM KILL

--James Miles

7358.
SPAM IS MY NIGHTMARE
SPAM'S MY VERY WORST NIGHTMARE
SPAM IS MY NIGHTMARE

--JON DOE (DOUGHBOY)

7359.
All bow down to SPAM
It is our lord and master
Worldwide Cult of SPAM!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7360.
Almost ate SPAM once
I am still alive, I think
Am I the smartest?

--Deano, deano@globalsite.net

7361.
Dreamt I ate huge SPAM
Slice; now I can't find my pink
Hot-water bottle...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7362.
Is a gathering
Of SPAM vigilantes called
A pork lynchin' meet?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7363.
1926:
Houdini dies--escapes launch
Of Hormel's canned ham...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7364.
Transylvania,
Full moon: can of SPAM stalks the
Streets as THE WEREPIG...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7365.
I thought a SPAMku
Was what we used to use to
Open a SPAM can....

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7366.
Dressed in blue but pink
All over when it comes out:
Transsexual SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7367.
I put a wick in
The greasy can and lit it:
I call it SPAM light!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7368.
1920s: a
Golden Age--while SPAM was yet
To be invented.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7369.
Necessity is
Mother of invention: SPAM
Must be an orphan...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7370.
The porcine muse has
Beaten me about the head
With a pork belly...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7371.
...SPAMku fill my mind
All day. If there's a cure for
This--let me have it!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7372.
I wrote only nine
SPAMku today--the tablets
Must be working now...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7373.
"Jodie Foster hunts
Down pigskin wearing weirdo":
Silence of the SPAMs.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7374.
"Spooky blonde kids seem
To like Hormel canned product":
Village of the SPAM'd.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7375.
"Martin Sheen scours through
SPAMbodia for pig parts":
A Porker Lips Now.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7376.
"Molly Ringwald goes
To high school prom in dress of
SPAM": Pretty in Pink.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7377.
"Tom Hanks becomes an
Adult overnight after
Blow out on SPAM": Pig.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7378.
A mutilated
Pig sued Hormel; didn't have
A leg to stand on.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7379.
i smell spam on you
your heart is worshipping it
you smell as spam does

--The Traveller, travlr1@hotmail.com

7380.
Elbows, mustard, SPAM
Boil fifteen minutes in the
Year of yellow SPAM

--Shmert, sam@prometheus-systems.com

7381.
Read fortunes in SPAM
Each breath from newly opened
Can speaks destiny

--Shmert, sam@prometheus-systems.com

7382.
Grand SPAMku Contest!
First prize: Can of SPAM; Second
Prize: TWO Cans of SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7383.
"If all these SPAMku
were laid end to end...": Complete
in six words or less.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7384.
Does the AUTOku
Submission daemon also
Count the syllables?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7385.
Immigrant actor
though surname changed, remains ham--
WAS Jean Claude Van SPAM

--Robert S. Goodman

7386.
Hormel's genocide
Worse than the Nazi death camps
Death in a blue can

--Anonymous

7387.
Your philosophies
Don't take SPAM into account
Thus they can't be true

--Bob City

7388.
Socrates was wise
He knew that he knew nothing
He never ate SPAM

--Bob City

7389.
I have changed my name
I now live in a blue can
I am Mister Spam!

--Bob City

7390.
My girlfriend's fat legs
Remind me that I'm hungry
Come to me Spamkins

--Bob City

7391.
Get into the pink
For low-priced debauchery
Fall in love with SPAM

--Bob City

7392.
It's time to grow up
Put away those childish things
Be a man, eat SPAM

--Bob City

7393.
Get your tongue 'round SPAM:
Only one syllable but
Oh, what a mouthful!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7394.
It's pink, it's wobbly,
It's tasteless and it's tacky;
But it's NOT Divine...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7395.
50s SPAM: "Meat of
1000 Uses". (Shouldn't
That be "Abuses"?)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7396.
SPAM logo boxer
Shorts: one way to find flies on
A Hormel product.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7397.
The SPAMafia:
They make you a lunch offer
That you can't accept.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7398.
I pulled out my MAPS
Alas, they were upside-down
I was seeing SPAM

--Robert the Great, 23@eartling.net

7399.
Dear John, please help me.
Is SPAM meat or a Muppet?
Yours, Confused, Austin.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7400.
Can of SPAM--open,
Upending--aroma, such!
Sliding, slowly--plop!

--The Analog Kid