SPAM Haiku 7501-7600

Move backwards to Numbers 7401-7500.


7501.
I'M BORED AT LUNCHTIME
I THINK I'LL WRITE A SPAM RHYME
FORGET IT, I CAN'T
--ISF

7502.
ANOTHER SPAMKU
OR TWO OR THREE OR TWENTY
LOVE ABOUNDS IN YOU

--ISF

7503.
SPAM IN THE MORNING
SPAM RIGHT BEFORE MY BEDTIME
SPAM NIGHTMARE FOR SURE

--ISF

7504.
UNCONTROLLABLE
SPAM URGES, I MUST HAVE MORE
A SUCKER FOR LIFE

--ISF

7505.
GOURMET TREAT INSIDE
THE GELATINOUS PINK MASS
WOLFGANG PUCK AGREES

--ISF

7506.
HOW I DO THRIVE ON
PINK STUFF THAT LASTS FOR EONS
I'M A SPAM ZOMBIE

--ISF

7507.
SPAM IS MADE UP OF
SNIPS AND SNAILS AND PIGGY TAILS
THAT'S WHAT SPAM'S MADE OF

--ISF

7508.
OL' CONFUCIUS SAY
YOU OPEN SPAM CAN WITH KEY
NOT GOOD THING TO DO

--ISF

7509.
GOLLY GEE, BATMAN
GOTHAM CITY'S IN A FIX
SPAM TO THE RESCUE

--ISF

7510.
ENOUGH OF HAIKU
NEED TO GET BACK TO MY LIFE
FOND FAREWELL TO SPAM

--ISF

7511.
Marvelous, pink SPAM.
Gelatinous forever.
The thought makes me barf.

--Steve Amato

7512.
Pink cube of swine parts.
Almighty and immortal.
SPAM is as SPAM was.

--Anonymous

7513.
Great Wall of China
built piece by piece with SPAM bricks.
Who could have known it?

--Anonymous

7514.
Fried SPAM with fried egg,
Dave likes it! Cholesterol
death is imminent.

--The Analog Kid, jeffery.p.scharn@state.or.us

7515.
Essence of process
In a red, white, and blue can
Americana

--Timothy Brandis

7516.
Jeff Dahmer in jail.
He was fed some SPAM and said,
"How can you eat this?"

--Anonymous

7517.
Elvis Costello
and the Attractions' new disc:
All This Useless SPAM

--Anonymous

7518.
If SPAM is Art then
never has Artsy-Fartsy
been any truer.

--Bob City

7519.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Repeat SPAM meat abuser
Caught with his pants down

--son of MSB

7520.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Seeking mercy from the judge
Blames it all on SPAM

--son of MSB

7521.
Monkey Spanking Boy
"Baliff, whack his pee pee! He's
Guilty!" cries the judge

--son of MSB

7522.
I drink Yoo-hoo now
Read your damn spamku archive
Have to clean keyboard

--Paul E. King, paul.king@nashville.com

7523.
Fishing? Use SPAM as
Bait. Works just like dynamite
But not as noisy...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7524.
Hail SPAM! Pork nectar
King of the pork by-products
Tail, snout, hoof, and guts.

--beppo

7525.
Marching band eats SPAM.
During halftime the band blows
A few pink sour notes.

--Bob City

7526.
blind man opens a
spam can and takes a big whiff
rejects as dog food

--dennis K

7527.
Nazi: "Ve'll make you
Sqveal like a pig!" SPAM: "Sorry--
Don't do impressions..."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7528.
UK company
Plans to print upside down maps:
Hormel starts lawsuit.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7529.
SPAM may have critics
But there's one good thing: at least
It's dolphin-friendly.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7530.
MOSES READ ALOUD
THE ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT
"THOU SHALT NOT EAT SPAM!"

--ISF

7531.
SPAM is everywhere!
Alas, I see the world through
pink-colored glasses.

--Jonathan Campbell, adept@io.com

7532.
the plate opens wide
receives gelatinous mass
the meaning of life

--Lee Bagz, lee_baggett@hotmail.com

7533.
SPAM cans speak to me,
They order me to murder:
"I am Son of SPAM!!"

--Anonymous

7534.
Have a can of SPAM
Had it for seven years now
Still won't eat that crap

--Lief Codianni, lcodiann@clas.suffolk.edu

7535.
In the big blue can
Pinkest substance in the land
Hormel fresh packed SPAM

--Lief Codianni, lcodiann@clas.suffolk.edu

7536.
cold, gelatinous
a perfect cube of pink goo
good for kinky sex!

--Allison L. and Olin S., adlittle@unity.ncsu.edu

7537.
My dogs licks her butt
She does hunt roaches and bugs
But she won't eat SPAM

--Zoe and Kay

7538.
SPAM is the greatest
stuff on the planet Earth, it
is mystery meat.

--Jaguar, saysonj@usa.net

7539.
Being on Death Row
Waiting to die is tough, BUT
When they serve SPAM--Man!

--Anonymous

7540.
take jelly from can
pour into ice cube tray, freeze:
refreshing spam pops!

--Michael Sheinbaum, steelydan@onix.com

7541.
hypnotize the spam
make it cluck like a chicken;
lower fat content

--Michael Sheinbaum, steelydan@onix.com

7542.
Starving and helpless
A woman offers him SPAM
Starving, not stupid

--spam master Brady

7543.
Specially Prepared
Agglutinated Morsels:
So Pure And Meaty!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7544.
I am the SPAM Man
I don't like green eggs and ham
SPAM SPAM... oh, YES! SPAM!

--Funky Mama, Funky@mail.wm.edu

7545.
Inspiration failed
Me; so I bought a can of
SPAM... still no joy... (sigh)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7546.
Five SPAMku a day?
I still won't catch SHAM before
They take me away...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7547.
Stone walls do not a
Prison make but SPAM makes a
Lovely pin cushion.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7548.
He's feeling better
Celebration feast of SPAM
Alien escapes

--Chris Dunlop, chris@masonbruce.com

7549.
What the dogs won't eat
we ship in large quantities
to Americans.

--Hunter Elenbaas

7550.
Pulchritudinous
Pulverized prime pork pieces
Providing pleasure.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7551.
Midday SPAMboree
On Wall Street: thousands decide
That lunch is for wimps.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7552.
South Pacific: A
Musical featuring SPAM
Enchanted Ev'ning
.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7553.
Pig-headed? Me? All
Right... I'm gonna wash that SPAM
Right out of my hair...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7554.
Ford's SPAM production
Line: any color you like
As long as it's pink.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7555.
Blind men cry for SPAM
Deeds recite "The Wounded Cow":
"Why am I deaf too?!"

--Todd Gifford, giff6437@tiger.hsc.edu

7556.
The monitors oink?
The computers have turned pink?
I've spammed the network!

--Anonymous

7557.
Eyes, ears, tails, innards
Glisten in the ice-box light
Pinkish porcine cube

--Pele Joker, pejoke@aol.com

7558.
SPAM flavored Jell-O
Spamagothcies should be made
SPAM man is real neat

--Sean

7559.
A congressman raves:
"Two cans of SPAM in each home!"
He becomes impeached.

--Qwerty

7560.
Some like to eat it.
If it didn't look like
Pink barf on my plate.

--Stormy, bud.weisser@sympatico.ca

7561.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
(minimal SPAMku)

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7562.
"Scientists clone pigs
From prehistoric SPAM cans":
Jurassic Pork 2.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7563.
Shall I compare thee
To a summer's day? Thou art
More rainy Monday...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7564.
Di's car is a wreck.
Paparazzi climb on it.
No...they're from Hormel.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

7565.
Di's eternal now.
What was left, scraped off the road,
Put in neat blue tins.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

7566.
SPAM sent to Palace.
Charles sits to feast upon a
Meal fit for a Prince.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

7567.
Elizabeth burps.
"Well," she says, "that Diana
Always had good taste.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

7568.
Shoveling, yum, yum,
Great taste pork products, yum, yum,
Makes me want to crap.

--Homer-Sexual, touch.me.feel.me.break.me.spam.me.com

7569.
open me, take me
touch me, break me, make me hot
so i'm good to eat

--Homer-Sexual, touch.me.feel.me.break.me.spam.me.com

7570.
Pristine pork pieces...
So smooth, sensuous, shiny...
Perfectly piggy!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7571.
Old, oily oinker...
Imagine it in a can.
NOW you understand!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7572.
Ice, sugar, and SPAM....
Recipe for SPAM glacé.
Unbelievable!!!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7573.
Where do I belong?
Only the SPAM Goddess knows.
Curing meatlessness...

--Theo, davejack@citynet.net

7574.
spamkuer geoff holme
must have eaten far too much
take away his key

--Anonymous

7575.
I am Sam, Sam I
am. Do you like green eggs and
SPAM? No. Fuck off, Sam.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7576.
I pledge allegiance
to the SPAM of the Hormel
Foods Corporation.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7577.
Punk Rock Memories:
Slamming SPAM on genitals,
lost two testicles.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7578.
In prison, it is
SPAM--breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Death penalty, please!

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7579.
"Take two cans of SPAM
and call me in the morning."
He never woke up.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7580.
"Only supplies SPAM??
Houston, we have a problem.":
Apollo 13

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7581.
My girlfriend loves SPAM
Many a night spent smashing
Yummy, squishy SPAM

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7582.
Deprived of his SPAM
Man has been known to lash out
Give him his fake pork...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7583.
SPAMBURGERs are good
My brother cannot eat them
In surgery now...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7584.
SPAM is eternal
Forever shall it persist
It is the future!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7585.
I'm a priest of SPAM
Rise, my loyal disciples
Worship the great meat!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7586.
Concealing pink death
Cheery blue and yellow tin
Hello, arteries!

--Yobar, mchugh@bhil.com

7587.
Mysterious gel
Surrounds pink dog excrement
The essence of SPAM

--John V. I. Lennin

7588.
The small, blue can, ah!
A portable feast for one
Without taste or sense

--Deborah

7589.
1928:
Bacteria shun Fleming's
Week old Hormel ham.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7590.
Famous last words: "Hush,
Dear. Don't cause a fuss. I'll have
Your SPAM. I love it!"

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7591.
Hormel Foods builds home
For Native American:
Wigwam, thank you, SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7592.
SPAM may tempt Native
Americans but they still
Have reservations.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7593.
How I love that SPAM,
A food for all occasions.
Too bad I'm vegan.

--Stormy

7594.
Hormel breaks into
The kosher market with their
New product: SPALTBEEF.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7595.
Hectic job? Give thanks
That you don't work in Hormel's
Complaints Department.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7596.
What is the worst job
You've had? Taster in Hormel's
Quality Control.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7597.
We all love our SPAM
And our SPAM loves us all too
Kinda like Barney.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7598.
My grandma ate SPAM.
She had schizoid embolisms.
Now hospitalized...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7599.
SPAM holds such beauty...
You can't help but admire it.
Hypnotizing meat...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7600.
I've seen the SPAM gods.
Pink-skinned beings of power...
Blessed with sacred SPAM!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net


Move forwards to Numbers 7601-7700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.