SPAM Haiku 9301-9400

Move backwards to Numbers 9201-9300.


9301.
I sure could eat now
SPAM is sliced and then plated
That is not a food
--Alex, farfromuzin@mindless.com

9302.
SPAM gets no respect.
Everyone makes fun of SPAM.
Cries itself to sleep.

--Spam Advocate

9303.
Gertrude Lawrence said
That SPAM is just like Oakland
There is no there there

--mikeylikesit, drjin@aol.com

9304.
Total peace can be
Achieved through this substance, SPAM.
Waste not! And want not!

---buddha-, -buddha-@geocities.com

9305.
Oh cubes of pink meat(?),
dunked in melted grape sweetness,
barbecued, too.....mmmmmm.

--Adele

9306.
Spamcense fills the room
Spicy aromas arouse
No one's there to watch

--Paul, opaulba@hotmail.com

9307.
ding-a-ling-a-ling
oh boy here comes the spam truck
poor misled children

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9308.
if you eat healthy
do not attempt to eat spam
or you will explode

--Ed Driscoll, edriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9309.
Enigmatic SPAM
I wish I knew what you are
What parts of the oink?

--Ed Driscoll, edriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9310.
spam is tasty but
it is better when you eat
it with stomach pills

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9311.
"The Blue Danube" in
Spamese: SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM rest.

--Ed Driscoll, edriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9312.
Pink, slimy meat block,
origins dimly perceived
like the winter's morn!

--Anonymous

9313.
Why, oh jellied pork
Does your sodium tempt me
Salt-lick of my soul.

--Jim D, beels@erols.com

9314.
Quivering pink blob
Sucking gulp, plops on the plate
College student eats

--Jim D, beels@erols.com

9315.
A twist of the key
SPAM anticipates my teeth
Door to paradise

--Jim D, beels@erols.com

9316.
I guess that SPAM is
squelchy salty gelatin?
Some kind of pink meat.

--Valkyrie

9317.
Colonists on Mars
open their supplies: "What? SPAM!?"
Sever ties with Earth.

--Anne Commons

9318.
Latest probe findings:
Great SPAM Spot on Jupiter.
NASA is perplexed.

--Anne Commons

9319.
Neil, Walter, and Jack
Processed, recycled "humor"
The SPAM Couple II

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9320.
We open Starr's can
No real evidence inside
The label says "SCAM"

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9321.
The great ship has sunk
Floating survivors find SPAM
Screams fill the dark night

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@earthlink.net

9322.
crisp mountain morning
eagles soar in the sunlight
SPAM and beans on grill

--fat mylo, fatmylo@worldnet.att.net

9323.
Spammaster John Cho
hope you have a paying job
sick motherfucker

--fat mylo

9324.
New British pop group
Playing bland, pre-fab garbage.
They are the SPAM Girls.

--Adam Richter

9325.
David Copperfield
in most popular trick yet
makes SPAM disappear!

--Adam Richter

9326.
Oh, horrid lunchmeat!
Who could possibly love you?
Cardiologists!

--Adam Richter

9327.
Medical breakthrough:
SPAM-derived drug cures disease...
SPAMOXICILLIN

--Adam Richter

9328.
From Wargames sequel:
"Strange food! The only winning
move is not to eat."

--Adam Richter

9329.
In the far future
when Pop Rocks are just a myth
there will still be SPAM.

--Adam Richter

9330.
Potted meat product
It does taste like dog food smells
SPAM is liberty

--Anonymous

9331.
My dogs ask for SPAM.
Their voices ring in my head.
I am Son of SPAM.

--Mike Abee

9332.
Mankind has ravaged,
and the gods would strike us down,
if it weren't for SPAM.

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

9333.
Shaking sweating mess.
My arm riddled with SPAM tracks.
I need my SPAM fix!

--Mike Abee

9334.
I made a Buick
Out of delicious SPAM Lite
It leaves a pink trail

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9335.
I switched your coffee
with new, improved freeze-dried SPAM.
Here, spew into this!

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9336.
Wild SPAM, come to me!
Sacrifice your pink meat chunks
to my appetite.

--Mathew MacIver, matm@tcginc.com

9337.
SPAM-a-thon runners
Quicken pace on Heartbreak Hill
To the victor--SPAM!

--Mathew MacIver, matm@tcginc.com

9338.
A noxious pink dream
Massive mound of mucilage
SPAM upon my plate

--Brian C Bartley (aka Dr. SPAM), BCBartley@integrityonline.com

9339.
SPAM rests neglected
Pink masquerades as protein
Succulent alone

--Dr. SPAM, Sunk N Jellytin@nointegrityspamline

9340.
TITANIC sunken:
The CAN rests in wat'ry grave
More PINK pulp fiction

--BCB (Dr. SPAM), Sunk N Jellytin@nointegritySPAMline

9341.
Gelatinous goo
Soaking through white bread sandwich
Third grade memory

--CNewby, CNewby@aol.com

9342.
Inspiration failed
Strauss. He ate SPAM then came up
With The Blue Canube.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9343.
SPAM's an anagram
Or is that an anaSPAM?
Of Pam's, amps, and maps.

--Zed the Snail

9344.
People who eat SPAM
Must have SPAM for brains and eat
It 'cause it's brain food.

--Zed the Snail

9345.
I should be reading;
instead, I turn on Netscape
and write lines for SPAM.

--Andrew 'IMP' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9346.
A previous life;
Trapped in a blue can--squishy.
My fate was a fork.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9347.
Such a strange fetish,
this fetish for spam--spamming
does not turn me on.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9348.
Depressed; lingering;
my heart a moist can of SPAM,
waiting to be mocked.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9349.
Reading Brighton Rock.
Distracted by this haiku;
Why SPAM, of all things?

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9350.
I refuse the can!
SPAM is dead, dammit! DEAD! DEAD!
A blue can coffin.

--IMP, aaweinma@coe.edu

9351.
I see a Hormel
delivery truck and I
blow it to pieces.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9352.
I like chicken I
like liver Meow Mix Meow Mix
please deliver SPAM.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9353.
SPAM is "so good, it's
gone" but what if it was not
ever there? No SPAM?

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9354.
Drunk guy jumps into
a big vat of SPAM and says
"I'm drowning in SPAM!"

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9355.
Bart eats a can of
SPAM and throws up everywhere
Nelson says "Ha Ha"!

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9356.
When we die and go
to Heaven is SPAM one of
the main cuisines there?

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9357.
Pig, cow, horse, or duck:
it will take a lot of luck
to see what SPAM is.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9358.
To digest the SPAM
make a hole in your stomach
and drop in the SPAM.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9359.
Crazy seventies
People say "burn baby burn"
SPAM-o inferno

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9360.
Oh, soylent pink meat.
My bowels cry for your lube.
Like shit through a goose.

--Michael Abee, mike.abee@uniontrib.com

9361.
What's beneath the lid?
Cornucopia of pig.
The SPAM beckons me.

--Michael Abee, mike.abee@uniontrib.com

9362.
SPAM je dobra vec
kedykolvek zelena
staci len chciet

--lizard, lizard@post.sk

9363.
Mammoth PINK dreaming
With GELATIN a-streaming
People are SCREAMing

--bcbartley, bbartley@integrityonline.com

9364.
Just ONE CAN per day...
"ENOUGH!", you certainly say;
The Doctor will stay.

--bcbartley, Dr. Spam@acanaday.com

9365.
hi chemistry class
spam in an experiment
watch lab disappear

--Anonymous

9366.
Pink and rubbery
Like one of those erasers
But you can eat it

--Anonymous

9367.
SPAM the powerful
Housed in a can of pure tin
Lunchmeat of the gods

--mike, Misha731@aol.com

9368.
SPAM tastes very good
SPAM uses pig ears, cow eyes
SPAM tastes very good

--Michael, knac@worldnet.att.net

9369.
Spam the universe
The Borg is but just one Pork
Byproducts are whole

--Gort, rdaxton@worldnet.att.net

9370.
Monkey's fling their poo.
In lunch room children throw SPAM.
It's devolution!

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

9371.
Last man on the Earth.
Nothing left but porn and SPAM.
Life hasn't changed much.

--Matt Ward, rmward@ucsd.edu

9372.
SPAM, wherefor art thou
In thy can you call to me
Poison is thy name

--Sue, Eatsalot@spam.yeech

9373.
vomiting on you
pink chunks of meat by-product
once again, you lose

--Anonymous

9374.
SPAM in the morning
Gotta run off to work now
Dead before lunchtime

--Anonymous

9375.
watching and waiting
seemingly innocent SPAM
wants your soul or else!

--Anonymous

9376.
my sculpture is pink
oozing with salty goodness
a spam masterpiece

--Thomas Kircher, tom@ackphft.matsu.alaska.edu

9377.
SPAM--adaptive meat?
Fitness function undefined;
Pure chaos beauty.

--Mathew MacIver, matm@tcginc.com

9378.
Someone on "Tonight"
Will try to make SPAM cheesecake
April 29th

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9379.
Kenny got eaten
"Oh my god, SPAM killed Kenny!
You bastard!" yelled Kyle

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

9380.
we hate spam, it's gross
becoming suicidal
while on the toilet

--haters of spam

9381.
"What's for dinner, Mom?"
Some SPAM is now shown to all.
"Thanks, Mom. You're the best !"

--MASTER O, oyusuf@hotmail.com

9382.
O.J. says he did
not do it but is dying
for his SPAM back now.

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9383.
Paula Jones says she
was sorry, wishes Bill lots
of SPAMMY dreams. Whee!

--Ed Driscoll, EDriscoll@stjohnscds.com

9384.
Someone please tell me
Is there Olestra in SPAM?
Save my leaking ass!

--Matt Scheidler, matthew_scheidler@jdedwards.com

9385.
Xenu nukes SPAM in
Volcanoes--the first draft of
Hubbard's OT3.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@igs.net

9386.
Kurt Cobain told us
that it smells like teen spirit.
SPAM smells like dogfood.

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9387.
no malnutrition
I have two cases of SPAM
oh, my salvation

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9388.
a soft pink inside
the hard blue steel container
is male or female?

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9389.
new Ultra Slimfast
the shakes at breakfast and lunch
of liquefied SPAM

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9390.
whirrr! goes my blender
the SPAM chunks fly everywhere
glorious pink mess

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9391.
some SPAM and Pink Floyd:
perhaps unknown connection?
Dark Side of the Food

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9392.
marbled pink substance
of SPAM resembles granite--
about as tasty

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9393.
alone, late at night
my hand demands some action
I go find some SPAM

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9394.
my obsession for
the Holy Pink Food surpassed
by SPAMku only

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9395.
restaurant, on date
I order some SPAM for us
have girlfriend no more

--Dan Drake, dadrake@students.wisc.edu

9396.
I wake up slowly
The cabinets, full of SPAM
God, what have I DONE?

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9397.
Lying on the floor
Empty SPAM cans surround me
I think I'll die now

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9398.
Run away in fear
Pink demon stalking behind
Oh sweet Lord, spare me!

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9399.
Surface of the moon
Pink monolith stands silent
A SPAM Odyssey

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9400.
On a balcony
Hungry student in school play
Wherefor art thou, SPAM?

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com


Move forwards to Numbers 9401-9500.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.