SPAM Haiku 9601-9700

Move backwards to Numbers 9501-9600.

9601.
Three servings per can
Feed it to your family
Punishment for all

--Sierra Solano

9602.
Let's use all the pig
Can't have anything wasted
Who dares to taste it?

--Eddie Jones

9603.
Eat SPAM and ask why
Why do I not eat the SPAM
And now you know why

--Eddie Rodriguez

9604.
You open the can
the room starts to smell so bad
so, leave the room soon.

--Jeff Lebsock

9605.
Our server attacked
Spam eating up our bandwidth
So we eat it back

--Shawn Nicolen, shawnn@tmn.com

9606.
Look in the mirror,
no one knows they are not yours.
SPAM-plants: safe, tasty.

--Alison

9607.
Plastic surgeons in
the U.S. lump together
spare parts--FrankenSPAM.

--Alison pink art girl and TEd, acw4@hotmail.com

9608.
Ignorance is Jeff
Katz and dogs in the morning
Good SPAM is no SPAM

--Sleeping Dogs

9609.
Ate some SPAM today.
This is what I have to say:
Pinko invention.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9610.
Me and Donald Trump
eat some SPAM with Helen Crump
when we're at the dump.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9611.
Cute and cuddly lamb
Innocent, it asks for love
But you gave it SPAM?!?!?

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9612.
I heard SPAM talking--
it wants my brain for science.
Address: Funny Farm.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9613.
Desperate suspect
tells the world he's innocent
then turns SPAM on self.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9614.
Kids playing, laughing
They who never ate the SPAM
Age of innocence

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9615.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.
Who the hell you think you are?
Get back in that can!

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9616.
Found a can of SPAM
in the whale who beached himself.
Solved that mystery.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9617.
Anti-SPAMku league
run by liberal women.
You know how it goes.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9618.
I wrote a song for
SPAMela Lee Anderson.
I love her blue can.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9619.
SPAM consistency:
In can, mouth, belly, on can;
Much of a muchness.

--doc m

9620.
Jefferson a Man;
Pool, mirror. Cherry flower
Carried on no wind.

--Jon Sjogren, jon.sjogren@afosr.af.mil

9621.
Incredible SPAM
Morphing into wait oh no
Mickey D's McRib

--Wonald Mc Donald, Flacid fries@McDs.shop

9622.
What is the pink stuff,
All flubbery in the can?
Why, that must be SPAM!

--Anonymous

9623.
Ex-SPAM reveler
disappointed, finds that it
causes cancer too.

--becca, ansel@partlycloudy.com

9624.
The backside of life
Firm, plump, pink, and so juicy
Got to have your SPAM

--Spam Me Mammy, ILovitt@pres.net

9625.
Refrigerator
Overflowing with pink mass
Spamzilla is born

--Theanon, Fergettit@best.net

9626.
West Virginia hills
SPAM for the eye and the soul
Cheez Whiz capped mountains

--Bubba Littleman, Traders55@aol.com

9627.
K-Y jelly packed
Hot pink salty meat dripping
Lay me down with SPAM

--Hollywood Motel, Kisset@once.now

9628.
Little balls of SPAM
Fall out of my cat daily
In agony squats

--Flatulena , none needed

9629.
It tastes like chicken
It is the supreme being
I worship the SPAM

--C.J Lucia, Calvin21cj@aol.com

9630.
Sun, chrysanthemum,
A water lily drifting,
SPAM slice, all is well.

--Ross B.

9631.
These words not asked for.
Why are you in my email?
Blue can, fat pink meat.

--Ross B.

9632.
Oh Basho in Hell
You are so ordinary
Come eat SPAM and die

--SmallMind, Traders66@aol.com

9633.
SPAM panty-liners
Never be lonely again
Just some food for thought

--San Francisco SALami, SALToU@worldnot.com

9634.
Jockstrap your SPAM man
Much hotter than a girlfriend
With the same I.Q.

--San Francisco SALami, SALToU@worldnot.com

9635.
Yes Wild Irish Rose
Compliments your meal of SPAM
Delicious upchuck

--Willie Wino, Cardboard@box.alley

9636.
SPAM's better than broads
It don't cheat, gossip, or nag
And has better taste

--Hee Haw Mc Graw, We'll Call U....NOT!

9637.
Fried with Velveeta
On Wonder Bread with ketchup
I always got sick

--Nancy Murrell, nmurrell@herald.com

9638.
Tighten your booty
Love Canal revisited
SPAM yo self momma

--Spam Lover, Don't Think so.

9639.
Marinate your SPAM
Pepto Bismol will do fine
Pink on pink delight

--Harry the Spam Man, HarryT@aol.com

9640.
SPAM if you want it.
Did you get any lately?
You'll get porked today.

--D. Arthur Whitemeet, Safesex@rubber.nut

9641.
I just loves my SPAM.
And I knows my SPAM loves me.
She leaves me flaaaccid.

--John and S. Pam, Johnpam @erols.net

9642.
Blissfully sizzling
With fried egg, seaweed, and rice
Musubi....Thank you!

--RAS

9643.
Cherry blossoms in
moonlight: the color of SPAM.
Must get my chainsaw...

--Basho in Hell

9644.
The smooth coolness of
the can of SPAM, flecked with grease
in the kitchen sink.

--Basho in Hell

9645.
How admirable!
To look at SPAM and not think
that life is fleeting.

--Basho in Hell

9646.
Morning, wake to find
an aquarium graveyard:
fed fish SPAM last night.

--Basho in Hell

9647.
In the land of SPAM
We hail the six kings of spam
Monty Python; yea!

--Maps Palindrome

9648.
Mauled by rabid pig!
Was my dream true? I awake:
empty cans of SPAM.

--Basho in Hell

9649.
10,000 SPAMku.
Not something to be proud of.
Ever read Gibbon?

--Basho in Hell

9650.
Sometimes I strap SPAM
onto the back of my cat
just to confuse it.

--Basho in Hell

9651.
Pakistan alarmed:
India tests SPAM bomb. Pork
fallout shocks Muslims.

--Ben Leash

9652.
Unsolved mystery:
spontaneous combustion.
SPAM's to blame, somehow...

--Basho in Hell

9653.
The SPAMness of SPAM:
Who can describe it? It's like
a bad Zen koan.

--Basho in Hell

9654.
monosyllabic
oleaginous offal
conglomeration

--Basho in Hell

9655.
Then one summer day,
SPAM came knocking on my door.
"Fetch my gun," I said.

--Basho in Hell

9656.
Meat packers' mistake:
bits of tenderloin in SPAM.
Contamination!

--Basho in Hell

9657.
SPAMku quality:
sometimes good, sometimes lousy.
SPAM, though--always bad.

--Basho in Hell

9658.
SPAM is just so good
Pink and meaty stuff it is
Yum! Pass me a spork

--A poet

9659.
Oh child before me
You do gobble the pink chunks
Your mother's not home

--Dan Herod, dherod@cris.com

9660.
No mention of SPAM
in "Martha Stewart Living."
Where'd she learn to cook?

--Basho in Hell

9661.
Flatulently I
Roar across the bedsheets stained
For the love of SPAM

--Beano, Phrrt@anytime.now

9662.
Mother-in-laws were
Once beautiful animals
And too was my SPAM

--Inlawful Acts, Deepsixem@ll

9663.
Petunia me love
Need you so bad in the can
SPAM toilet tissue

--Spamrhoids, Clogged@llup

9664.
For the love of meat
Listen to me for god's sake
Don't ever eat SPAM

--S.Pam's Friend, Sufferin@aol.com

9665.
SPAM is like herpies
Stings the sexual organs
Forever it is

--Anonymous, anonymous

9666.
I love you truly
Dildorific SPAM lover
Bubbas come and go

--Hilarity Clinton, hotbox@unowhere

9667.
Blowing chunks of pork
Upon the sacred altar
SPAM enlightenment

--A. Blinkin', JoshB@coldmail .com

9668.
My love's name is SPAM
She screams EAT ME from the can
But the door is locked

--Buster, Buster@spry.net

9669.
SPAM was my teacher
There's no apple for you teach
Eat yourself and die

--Spam Yo'sef, Johnson@edu.net

9670.
Policemen eat it
And I know you know it's true
Crumb-free SPAM for me

--A. Copper, Loveitt2@aol.com

9671.
My dog is named Spam.
We put him back in the can.
Now that was a chore.

--PetSpam, Woofwoof@no.more

9672.
Fry my hide it's SPAM!
Delicious out of the can.
May we use yours girl?

--Kentucky Blue, Ken@spry.net

9673.
King Elvis ate SPAM.
Look at what it did for him.
Oh yes, he's still dead.

--Colonel Parker, Colonel@corn.net

9674.
Jackknifed load of SPAM.
Didn't cause a traffic jam.
Pink lines screamed speed up!

--BST Driver, Freewayjoe@erols.net

9675.
Thou shalt not steal SPAM.
Is a needless commandment.
No one's that hungry.

--Moses Seddit, anonymous

9676.
Wide load Mamma Cass
Hail queen of Spammer jammers
Deep throat SPAM no more

--Spammy Fr. Alabammy, Mt.cass@OArelapse

9677.
Beanie Baby crazed
Low-life collectortainers
Should eat SPAM and die

--Beanie Babiy Boobs, Tammyfaye@last.edu

9678.
SPAM ate Bill Clinton,
Sucked out his tiny pink brain.
Leftover's for us.

--Janet Reno, Rhymes with Beano* tm

9679.
Just read 'em and weep,
Ninety-eight hundred SPAMku.
Welfare cheese tastes great.

--If You Got The SPAMku, We've Got The Time.

9680.
Honolulu treat
All soft and warm and gooey
SPAM and egg sandwich

--Mike Cusick, mjcusick@sttl.uswest.net

9681.
Jack and Jill ate SPAM.
Then went up and down the hill.
Hormel Hershey squirts.

--Mother Goosed, OO2late2.educate

9682.
Little Jack Horner,
Blew SPAM chunks in the corner,
Should have ate the pie.

--Mother Goosed, OO2late2.educate

9683.
Spampax..... pork of peace.
As advertised on T.V.
Feel safe and secure.

--Fo Sumyung Ting, Local@socal.com

9684.
Pig farm in a can.
Reassemble the pieces.
SPAM recreations.

--Suie Petunia, Anonyswineous

9685.
One lit M-80.
Added to one can of SPAM.
Food fight Hormel style.

--Spamfettiousness, FeedDworld.not

9686.
Howie Carr IS SPAM.
But Virgin Boy IS the show.
Blue can Howie Carr.

--Virgin Boy RULZ!, Howie@wrko.com

9687.
Can't talk about SPAM.
SCREAMING BLOODY LUNCHMEAT RULZ!
Spamquilize me now.......

--Spamsong, ibflatw/oSpam

9688.
I'm at the crossroads.
Will it be heaven or hell?
SPAM ain't got no horns.

--Spamku U2, gotthavvit@once

9689.
Sizzling in the pan
In "The Last Supper's" kitchen
Behind the artist

--Leonardo Ugoofed, Mona@smile.edu

9690.
Oh, the last supper?
You know it had to be SPAM.
Salt was not needed.

--Leonardo De Spamci

9691.
Pasta and meatballs!
Judas, is that SPAM I smell?
Edit the painting.

--Spammy Hammy, adoublewhammy@last

9692.
What price doth SPAM pay
Rude butts of jokester's play....I
I eat it anyway!

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9693.
Though heart doth toil and
Arteries so strain blood's flow
SPAM shall nourish soul

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9694.
Why be so repulsed
Pig dies, flies crawl, filmy eyes
Is it not LIFE'S FOOD?

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9695.
What would the turd be
That falls from ass of SPAM beast?
Cubed and pink and moist?

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9696.
Hoist The SPAM matey
Use it to grease down my schlong
We're out of KY

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9697.
Squeeze bologna, ham,
beef, boogers, shit in square can--
Call it SPAM, man!

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9698.
Sex and food don't mix
or do they....do you pork meat...
or does SPAM pork you????????

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9699.
your spamming sickens
sweet pink flesh lusts hungrily
vomiting poems

--djhutfav, jfavors@earthnet.com

9700.
GODDAM GROSS FUCKERS
MAKIN ME SICK WITH THIS SHIT
RAGE MAKES SPAM-HUNGER

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM