SPAM Haiku: S.P.A.M.

SHAM-2.
SPAM: Shit Pork All Mashed.
Is there anything more gross?
Vienna Sausage.

SHAM-39.
SPAM: Stripped Pig All Mixed.
Is there anything more gross?
New product: SPAM LITE.

SHAM-140.
SPAM: Steam-Pressed Ape Meat.
Is there anything more gross?
New, handy SPAM Spread.

103.
What does S.P.A.M. stand for?
Solidified and Processed
Anti-Meat maybe?

--Anonymous

113.
SPAM: Superfluous
Pieces of Animal Meat
Give me some more, please

--Tom Elliott, Tosh@Werple.mira.net.au

312.
SPastic Awful Meal
My thoughts about this stuff which
No one here shares. Bah!

--Jim Ryan, JDanRyan@aol.com

674.
how can i express
the joy and heartfelt wonder
Solid Pork All Mine

--Dawn M. Martin

780.
The letters of "SPAM"--
What do they stand for? Semi-,
Pseudo-, Almost Meat.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

781.
Subversive Pinko
Anti-american Meat:
SPAM's a Commie plot!

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

782.
SPAM's the Devil's work:
Sinful Pork of Almighty
Mephistopheles.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

809.
It's lips and assholes
Forever no more, no less
Snails, Possum, And Mice

--Superfly EditorAGoGo Adam Woodyard, awoodyar@austinc.edu

1389.
SPAM: Spit Puke A Mile!
Not a pleasant image, pal,
But we're not sissies!

--Jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

1496.
s for super, p
for pig, a for always, m
for mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!

--kgregory@post.cis.smu.edu

1549.
Anguished kids cry out
Another slice hits their plates
Send Pork Away, Mom!

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1638.
Spiced Pork and hAM? Yeah
Right, it's Shredded Plasticized
Active Mutation!

--Anonymous

1748.
Vanna, a vowel,
Add it to my initials.
SPAM I am, SHAM!

--Stephen Price Masticola, masticol@scr.siemens.com

1884.
SPAM does not stand for
Specially Processed Ass Meat.
Too bad, SPAM bashers.

--Anonymous

1885.
Hungry corpse looks for
Sole Precious Agony Meal--
by Marquis de Sade.

--Anonymous

2046.
SPAM: Shit, Puke, And Mud
Not included in the damned
Ingredients. Wow.

--James Burns, unacalmer@aol.com

2165.
Some Pork Art, Maybe?
Such Perfect Alien Meat!
Square, Pink, And Mottled.

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2170.
Acronym for SPAM
It's Sinew, Puss, And Muscle
Goes down best heated

--bags@voicenet.com

2253.
What does SPAM stand for?
Spoiled Pizza And Meat, maybe?
The eighth mystery!

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2256.
SPAM is SPecial hAM.
I don't know what's so special!
Sometimes I wonder.

--Savidger, savidger@mail.yamhillesd.k12.or.us

2706.
Little letters four:
"Ess pee ay em," like a song,
Burble in my ear.

--Reber Clark, Rebermuse@aol.com

2710.
Semper Porcinus,
Always Meaty--the motto
Of the soldier's lunch.

--Peter Berman, berman@math.brown.edu

3221.
She was Pleased with SPAM,
so she Asked for even More.
"But cut the mustard!"

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3465.
Steroidal Pig Mash,
Sometimes I think you are more
Hormone than Hormel.

--John Mitchell

3730.
Separate parts are
Melded somehow, providing
Alien mealtime.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4170.
Seen on a loan app.:
SPanish American Male.
SPAM as acronym.

--saw505@aol.com

4686.
Why do we say "SPAM?"
Pork Shoulder, Ham, in the can.
So we should say "PSHAM!"

--James Stover, stover@eisinc.com

4915.
How doth the pink stuff
Define its shiny substance?
SPots of fat and hAM.

--Elyne Handler

5108.
Superglutinous
Post-excretal Aberrant
Miniporcine. SPAM.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5173.
Listen up people
Now I know what SPAM stands for:
Special Parts And More

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5883.
"S" is for Spicy
"AM" is for American
"P" is for Pickled

--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net

5944.
SPAM, an acronymn
For Squirrels, Possums, And Mice.
The white trash turkey.

--Anonymous

6098.
Scientifically
Processed Animal Matter:
A true acronym!

--Rik Williams, fermi@cris.com

6208.
Soiled Parts Are Melanged
Strange Porcine Animal Mud
Sick People Ain't Missed

--Robert S. Goodman

6401.
Tell me what is SPAM.
Squished Piles Alternative Meat.
Give it a try, NOT!

--Anonymous

6666.
Sphincters Pigs And Meat
Set Potatoes Around Meal
Some Plans Are Mooted

--Charles Ader, cader@netcom.com

6807.
SPAM as in spoiled ham?
Hits your guts with mighty blams
Small can for power...

--R. Samels, rsamels@uakron.edu

6894.
Strangely, after just
Partially eating A loaf,
i could eat no More.

--Jonathan Michaels, jmichaels@earthling.net

7047.
Shit Processed Ain't Meat!
Only Sam Can Alter Rat
Meat And Young Elk Rumps!

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7109.
Sucking Parts At Mom's.
Sputtering Puke After Meal.
SPAM Pleases A Man!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7353.
Specially Prepared
Agglutinated Morsels:
So Pure And Meaty!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7491.
SPAM as acronym:
Salted Pink Amorphous Meat
It defines itself

--Paul Bench, bier@mill.net

7573.
SPAM delight tonight
It's SPoiled hAM in a blue can
Barf it in toilet

--cryophil@cryogen.com

7902.
Slimy Pork And Mush,
Slithery Pulp All Mucky,
Some People Ate Mine!

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

8157.
Sacrilegious Pork
Absolutely Morbid. (eat
up, america)

--Uncle Jay, grandiosity@hotmail.com

8237.
Formula simple:
Take one cup pig SPerm, one hAM,
Glutinize, enjoy.

--Anonymous

8426.
SPAM: standing for what?
Slightly Possible Anal
Meat? I hate to think.

--Luke Ellis, Australia

8525.
Start planning a meal
Several people are mad
Say prayers and munch

--D-Money

8538.
SPAM is SPartan hAM.
Food for the warrior Greeks.
No more Sparta now.

--Anonymous

8541.
Some folks think SPAM stands
for "Sexual Perversion
And Masturbation."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com


Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.