54.
My life in ruin.
My wife, job, home -- all lost. SPAM!
You did this to me!
107.
The haiku offered
has me somewhat concerned now.
"Am I a SPAM freak?"
111.
Reading SPAM haiku
When my brain screamed out to me
Why do you waste time?
126.
So much SPAM haiku
Perhaps we should all get lives...
On second thought... Naaaah.
133.
Why is it we find
A block made of pork pieces
To be so funny?
167.
I love the SPAM page.
I must contribute to it
With virtues of SPAM.
237.
Sweat beads on temples
As straining against my bonds
I yearn for the SPAM.
260.
SHAM, you bastard, you've
wrecked my life. Now my time's spent
writing SPAM haiku.
274.
His carnal desire,
insatiable lust for SPAM
led to destruction.
286.
Desire overwhelms.
"SPAM, I must have more of it!"
Freud would be enthralled.
374.
Read ten SPAM haiku
SPAM is fun to ridicule
Submitted ten more
396.
Addiction profound
Work shunned, and friends forgotten
for the SPAM archive
417.
In the morning, yes
In the evening, oh yes, yes
Late night snack, oh SPAM
432.
Forty year-old man,
Pathetic, hunched at the screen.
Writing SPAM haiku.
444.
Was beseeched by friend
To discontinue haiku
Based solely on SPAM
482.
Jitters, sleepless nights.
Wracking brains to no purpose.
A SPAM obsession.
483.
Hundreds of haiku
On SPAM! What a waste of time!
Get a life, people!
484.
Boss thinks I'm working,
unaware of my secret
on-line obsession.
488.
SPAM, it tastes like shit
The thought of it makes me sick
But I can't resist
500.
It's hard to believe,
So much creativity.
It's only canned meat!
502.
I have never had
This much fun before, typing
Of that which I hate.
528.
I really should work
Yet I must write SPAM haiku
Twisted compulsion
552.
I can't stop laughing.
SPAM has become a can of
worms. Please help yourself.
585.
SPAM-induced madness
Haiku on top of haiku
Where will it all end?
607.
Late Thursday, August
Don't feel like working, only
Dream lazy SPAM thoughts
639.
oblivion waits
fearing my longing for SPAM
I try to forget
790.
Can't control my SPAM
haiku addiction. Is there
a 12-step program?
847.
SPAM on a Sunday
Breakfast, brunch, and dinner, too
Then, a SPAM dessert
908.
How much time can I
waste writing haiku about
SPAM? Read and find out.
909.
When people stop smok-
ing they get cig fits. Does the
same thing work for SPAM?
924.
I write SPAM haiku.
Day and night, nothing but SPAM...
I need to get laid.
935.
Betty Ford Center
opens SPAM haiku wing. There's
still some hope for me.
945.
Here I sit all bro-
ken hearted. Write SPAM haiku...
I'm a complete schmuck.
952.
I like SPAM so much
You should see my collection
Thousands of SPAM cans
954.
I worked for a year
Declined offers of payment
Only wanted SPAM
974.
SPAM haiku flows forth
Not unlike the effect of
Overindulgence
991.
As I sit here now
And try to write SPAM haiku
My mind draws a blank
1010.
The tortured man sits
Trying to write SPAM haiku
His brain is empty
1028.
Old man lies dying
Life flashing before his eyes
"Hmm, not enough SPAM"
1057.
Spewing chunks from gut
I ate nineteen cans of SPAM
Why did I do that?
1076.
Surgeon general
reveals world's most addictive
substance: SPAM haiku.
1077.
Haiku addiction
warning sign: incessantly
counting syllables.
1078.
A madman, obsessed
by SPAM, screams, "Stop me before
I haiku again."
1117.
Bad SPAM addiction
Lost job at mini-market
Neglected wife, friends
1175.
I'd write SPAM haiku
all day, but I must go back
to my padded cell.
1187.
"I gotta have it!"
"This pink stuff controls my life!"
SPAM Anonymous.
1250.
All this SPAM haiku
If we keep writing so much
We'll run out of words
1256.
Once you've tasted SPAM
Your life is changed forever
Pity the addict
1258.
Lunch, breakfast, dinner
All I ever eat is SPAM
I'm wasting away...
1267.
A delicate bite
Leads to ravenous eating
SPAM bulimia
1396.
Endless SPAM haiku.
SHAM considers the future.
Terabyte disk drive.
1455.
My friend is kosher;
She doesn't understand my
Passionate love, tears.
1456.
Offices grow still:
A million hands type haiku.
A good day at work.
1457.
Do not be ashamed
To write SPAM haiku all day!
Praise what's immortal.
1860.
Haiku enthrall me.
Cans of SPAM by my keyboard.
I have gone insane.
1893.
SPAM haiku addict
It tastes gross, but still I write
Need a new hobby
1911.
last hours of the year
wasting time racking brain just
for a SPAM haiku
1999.
Brain-pan full with SPAM.
CT scan shows haiku surge.
Padded cell prescribed.
2262.
SPAM, SPAM on his brain
Eats that stuff three squares a day
His brain is pink mush
2270.
Insane about SPAM!
What is it that causes this
Spamdemonium?
2272.
Help me! Help me, please!
I can't seem to stop writing
All these SPAM haiku.
2355.
Crack and PCP
can't match the addictiveness
of the SPAM haiku.
2362.
Doctor, Doctor, give
me the news, I got a bad
case of SPAM haikus!
2460.
What is my problem?
Writing too much SPAM haiku!
Someone please stop me!
2547.
Does Mike O'Connor
Spend all his allotted SPAM
Composing haiku?
2618.
"Enough," sighed Chief SPAM.
"Your haiku get worse and worse.
Here, have a sausage."
2620.
Too many haiku.
Zounds! I have become a SPAM.
Metamorphosis.
2809.
"I'm Bob, and I write
SPAM haiku." "Hi, Bob!" It's an
SHA meeting.
2850.
But I need a fix
Of spamku, and mighty quick.
E-mail me the lot!
2861.
There's a new branch of
SPAMholics Anonymous
for SPAMku addicts.
2897.
Another meeting:
"I'm Dale, I'm a SPAMholic."
"Hi, Dale," they reply.
2943.
Help me I'm drowning.
I can't stop writing haikus.
It's you, Cho, j'accuse!
2994.
Composed that one in
the dreamy depths of REM sleep.
I know I need help.
3103.
Why do we do it?
Is there something wrong with us
neurochemic'lly?
3317.
I've come to a point
Where I must ask myself this:
"Does SPAM rule my life?"
3519.
SPAM makes you break out
It goes well with pineapples
And is addicting
3553.
Health food store owner
sneaks out for a bite of SPAM.
He never looks back.
3556.
3 AM awake,
Fingers fumble with the key.
Canned meat addiction.
3559.
A man sits depressed.
A lone tear rolls down his face.
The key has broken.
3663.
I don't believe it--
Even after good night's sleep
Thoughts of SPAM return.
3820.
I should be outside
Enjoying the sun. Instead,
I write SPAM haiku.
3982.
Rather addictive,
Composing the SPAM haiku,
But not eating it.
4001.
What's going on here?
Is the SHAM on vacation?
Ack! Haiku withdrawal!
4069.
Counting syllables
incessantly? So am I.
Welcome to the club.
4601.
I've gone months without
reading and writing Spamku.
Proved that I could quit
4602.
After months away
from Spamku, I've returned--but
I could quit again.
4603.
All those meetings of
SPAMholics Anonymous
helped me find my way.
4604.
I've learned so much from
months of SPAM sobriety--
feel good about self
4605.
Should call my "sponsor,"
I guess, since I've been tempted.
But what does HE know?
4746.
I like to eat SPAM
I eat it everyday
I have gone insane
4779
I eat SPAM for lunch
I always eat SPAM at night
My aching colon
4822.
I had the SPAM shakes,
Cut my tongue licking the can.
SPAM blood or my blood?
4941.
I suffer alone.
There are no support groups for
SPAMku addiction.
4967.
I submit daily
A spamku to the archive.
I really need work.
4974.
I am in despair
Sitting at my computer
Typing more spamku.
5051.
Sat in front of my
computer, thoughts are of SPAM.
It is hard to work.
5052.
I should be working,
I write computer programs.
I think of Spamku.
5053.
I can give it up!
I am not addicted to
Spamku...SPAM neither!
5054.
Quick, I need a fix!
A cube of pink porcine fat
stored in a blue can.
5147.
Must stop the craving--
12-step SPAM'holics anon.
One can at a time.
5204.
"It's over" she wept,
Turned to go, I cursed myself
For SPAM obsession
5211.
Creative impulse
It drives me ever onwards
Limitless haiku
5293.
I'll just sit here now
Burn some neurons in my brain
Invent more Spamku.
5358.
How can there be more?
And yet I drag one more SPAM
Haiku from my brain
5371.
My psychiatrist
Cured my pathological
Appetite for SPAM
5410.
Oh great, no more SPAM
I check my cupboard again
Must feed addiction
5425.
Must abstain from SPAM
I started having blackouts
Wake with empty can
5429.
Again that dull ache
Oh, when will I ever learn?
Keep away from SPAM
5446.
Without noticing
I find myself eating SPAM
Tomorrow I quit
5453.
Man lies on soft couch
"I can't stop writing Spamku"
Psychiatrist laughs
5466.
Pangs of SPAM hunger
Suddenly assail my mind
Have to eat SPAM NOW.
5506.
The SPAM obsessive:
Ashen faced, he hoards his SPAM
Far from prying eyes
5651.
Brain waves go berserk
4 AM and wide awake
SPAMKU addiction
5973.
While reading SPAMku
See author needs life, someone
Help Tom Elliot!
6034.
My eyes grow tired, still
the SPAM muse beckons, vowing
glory in pork prose.
6065.
Surfed the Internet
Found SPAM haiku page by chance
A new obsession
6348.
Mary Holt's SPAM muse
Never rests, always singing,
"Got SPAM on the brain!"
6351.
Back SPAMmin' again!
Went cold turkey for a year.
Addicted for life!
6352.
Liggett confesses,
"Nicotine is addictive."
It's your turn, Hormel!
6404.
I can't believe it
Spamku is more addicting
Than Mountain Dew is
6405.
Did I just submit
Three Spamku? My job is so
Boring. I can't stop.
6478.
SPAM haiku addict
Sought out psychiatric help
Feels good about it
6565.
it's like licking shoes
this horrible spam habit
we don't think clearly
6616.
Are you attracted,
To the happy dark blue can,
Just say no, to SPAM!
6828.
SHAM, while you were gone,
It was bad, man, really bad.
Spamku withdrawal.
6871.
Low sodium SPAM
Now I can eat twice as much
It's never too much
6872.
Running through my veins
You are slowly killing me
But I just can't stop
6896.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
I love to eat SPAM SPAM SPAM.
The taste is super.
6916.
Writing SPAMku is
Addictive--as opposed to
Eating the darn stuff.
6982.
Once I had a life;
Now I write SPAMku non-stop--
Thanks to you, John Cho!
7180.
...SPAMku fill my mind
All day. If there's a cure for
This--let me have it!
7181.
I wrote only nine
SPAMku today--the tablets
Must be working now...
7253.
A cure for SPAMku?
Searching the Web for sweepstakes
kills the urge for SPAM!
7255.
Once again it's late
and I sit writing of SPAM.
Where has my mind gone?!?
7314.
UNCONTROLLABLE
SPAM URGES, I MUST HAVE MORE
A SUCKER FOR LIFE
7517.
Ten SPAMku today!
Doctors say my last hope is
A lobotomy...
7543.
So I wrote thirteen
SPAMku today; I could stop
If I wanted to...
7645.
New wing in re-hab
For permanent brain damage
Addicted to SPAM
7701.
THIS IS CLEARLY DUMB.
LAST NIGHT I SLEPT NOT A WINK,
THINKING OF SPAMKU.
7702.
YOU ARE A SHAM, SHAM
BY CREATING OBSESSIONS
WITH THIS SPAMKU SITE.
7704.
SPAM is seductive...
Do not fall to its evil...
'Twill possess your mind...
7896.
My SPAM addiction:
Only SPAMKU comes to mind.
I should be working!
7950.
My twelve step program
I am a SPAM-a-holic
Feed my obsession
7963.
Said it was harmless
Now I'm hooked on freebase SPAM
Hormel you bastard
8020.
Told another friend
of SPAM and haiku, now I
cannot stop my urge.
8071.
Gave up cigarettes
No more drinking, and drug-free
Hidden stash of SPAM
8332.
Tell you what I want
What I really really want
Quit writing SPAMku