The People's Choice Cuts: 1-1000


Three men in lifeboat.
No food 'cept SPAM. Hour later:
Two men in lifeboat.
--Chris Fishel,


Open can, insert member:
Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!
--Jon Howell and Liam Friedland, and


Crowds of refugees,
Starving. UN airdrops SPAM.
Muslims flee from planes.
--Martin Booda,


Old man seeks doctor:
"I eat SPAM daily," he decries
--Christopher James Hume

Fed my dog warm SPAM.
Pissed in shoes. Ate my wallet.
Bitter little fuck.

--Jonathan Black,


SPAM glistens pinkly;
Cat taps it with wary paw
To see if it's dead.


Descartes on pig parts
Says: "I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM"
Deep philosophy
--Chris Fishel,


Does SPAM contain tongues?
When you eat it, does it taste
you as you taste it?
--Chris Fishel,


SPAM is not a gift.
When you eat, just remember:
It's only a loan.
--Martin Booda,


Made a SPAM puppet
To entertain my doggie
Need a new hand now
--Tom Elliott,


Leaning to kiss her,
Smelling her breath, I thought of
Love and luncheon loaf.
--Rex Jones,

There are worse things than
A SPAM-limited diet.
Like coprophagy.

--Martin Booda,


I put my shoes on
But remembered far too late
My secret SPAM stash
--Tom Elliott,


I hear the SPAM ball
It bounces, porqua, porqua
A haiku of spring
--B. Tallen

Outdoor church potluck.
SPAM casserole steams in sun.
Flies choose the tuna.

Dole, Gramm, and Gingrich.
Pink, porcine, processed, packaged.
Political SPAM.



SPAM frying in lard
The whir of the kitchen fan
Summer of my youth

acidic heartburn
a boat disappears in mist
traces of old SPAM


Split the SPAM atom
Enormous pink mushroom cloud
World covered in pork

--Tom Elliott,


Sunset placid pond
where campers often linger--
rusted can of SPAM
--Dr. S. Garrigues,

Bright lights and cruel cops
grill the suspect pork product.
It doesn't confess.

Scott O'Grady packed
SPAM in his survival kit,
lived on bugs for days.

--Rex Jones,


Senator Exon
Downloads SPAM GIFs from archive,
Soils the Senate floor.
--Martin Booda,


amorphously glistening
the sound of Spam Getz
--Screamin' Phil Erickson,

I took SPAM to work
They fired me--so be warned
It's not meant as clothes

--Tom Elliott,


Hold tight, street person!
Wise-ass crow on the dumpster
is eyeing your SPAM.
--Paul W. Lewis,

Worse than eating SPAM?
Watching your father-in-law
eat a trout head. (Crunch.)

--Matt Ragozzino,


Zen Buddhist SPAM quest:
"What are the ingredients?"
What do you desire?
--Alex Dunne,


Bum with hole in shoe
Finds Elmer's and SPAM. Eats glue,
patches hole with SPAM.
--Chris Fishel,

Driving with Ute friends.
Miles of silence pass before,
"Price of SPAM is up."


Downtown park in spring
with SPAM-pink cherry blossoms
neon haze of night

--Dr. S. Garrigues,


new roommate arrives
cooks sunday morning fried SPAM
goodbye new roommate
--Screamin' Phil Erickson,

The blue can is square
Why not a circular can?
Too much like dog food


Thanks again to the anonymous panelists for helping me select among 1000 haiku, to Phil Erickson for writing the vote tallying cgi script, and to Alec Proudfoot ( for hosting the ballot box.

John Nagamichi Cho, a.k.a. The SHAM / SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.