Intergalactic Pub Trivia

by Foggy Brume

Featuring Foggy Brume as Harold, Mike Selinker as the Holodeck Director, and Tony Delgado and Michael King as the UPGAFS Pina Colada Crew
 Answer: MEMORABLE

Holodeck director Stephen C. Tekjansen introduced Harold, who proceeded to lead a packed house in an easy opening round of pub trivia. Harold asked the following questions (with their eventual answers in parentheses):

  1. In the category of Sports: Led by Xocksbarr Pennz, what team won last year's Galactic Scrumball Tournament? (the Ganymede Splitters)
  2. In the category of Literature: Who wrote the Marvin Award Winning novel Fly Away, Meteor Me? (Maven Van Allen B)
  3. In the category of Science: What did Jovian xenochemist Bacso Yo discover accidentally after trying to clone his pet Wingduck? (Identium)
  4. In the category of Food: Who opened the Planck's Fazer Phactory themed restaurant last year amid controversary over their inclusion of toasted keminichi on their menu? (Todd Interlac)
  5. In the category of Potent Potables: Milky Way macrobrewery Dam Asams offers what holiday brew each year at Kwaznuz? (Holiday Janglebrew)

Those questions, of course, were eminently gettable if you were from the year 3009. During a playing of Rupert Holmes's "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," any team with four or more correct answers got their reward of the grand prize: a kick in the crotch (not available unless the team had a 1894-page liability form, with initials on each page, written in Neptunian indochromatic ink). Failing that, they could accept the consolation prize: Harold's Collectible Disaster Response Sheet, as well as a voucher for dollarbucks.

And then, out of nowhere, the ship's computer issued the following warning. Harold and Tekjansen froze in place, and then...

Holodeck director Stephen C. Tekjansen introduced Harold, who proceeded to lead a packed house in an easy opening round of pub trivia. Harold asked the following questions (with their eventual answers in parentheses):

  1. In the category of Sports: Despite scoring over 90 points in its final game, the Arcturan Wingducks lost what event last year? (The Galactic Scrumball Tournament)
  2. In the category of Literature: In what best-selling cyborg goth novel does the main character, Petulant VI, observe, "My soul can soar through space, or crash on the planet. But no matter what, life cannot inhabit here." (Fly Away, Meteor Me)
  3. In the category of Science: Who is the only Belno Award winner to hail from Jupiter? (Bacso Yo)
  4. In the category of Food: The rise in popularity of which culinary delight has resulted in the near extincton of the plaxon canine of the Crab Nebula? (keminichi)
  5. In the category of Potent Potables: What beermaker was involved in the infamous Noko Nectar import scandal that led to the Inhibition era? (Dam Asams)

Those questions, of course, were eminently gettable if you were from the year 3009. During a playing of Rupert Holmes's "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," any team with four or more correct answers got their reward of the grand prize: a kick in the balls (not available unless the team had a 1894-page liability form, with initials on each page, written in Neptunian indochromatic ink). Failing that, they could accept the consolation prize: Harold's Collectible Disaster Response Sheet, as well as a voucher for dollarbucks.

And then, out of nowhere, the ship's computer issued the following warning. Harold and Tekjansen froze in place, and then...

Holodeck director Stephen C. Tekjansen introduced Harold, who proceeded to lead a sparsely populated house in an easy opening round of pub trivia. Harold asked the following questions (with their eventual answers in parentheses):

  1. In the category of Sports: What player, the star of the Ganymede Splitters offense, described his opponents as "cosmic spittle in the face of giants"? (Xocksbarr Pennz)
  2. In the category of Literature: What genre is honored by the Marvin Award? (cyborg goth)
  3. In the category of Science: Belno Award winner Bacso Yo was killed by his pet named Hacama. What type of animal was Hacama? (Wingduck)
  4. In the category of Food: What restaurant's theme is the discovery of the quantum universe? (Planck's Fazer Phactory)
  5. In the category of Potent Potables: What era came to an end after a legislative domAlien was arrested with Holiday Janglebrew in his cruiser? (Inhibition)

Those questions, of course, were eminently gettable if you were from the year 3009. During a playing of Rupert Holmes's "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," any team with four or more correct answers got their reward of the grand prize: a beheading (not available unless the team had a 1894-page liability form, with initials on each page, written in Neptunian indochromatic ink). Failing that, they could accept the consolation prize: Harold's Collectible Disaster Response Sheet, as well as a voucher for dollarbucks.

Despite our readiness to inflict them, further opening rounds were not necessary.