Medical Centaur

by Ian Tullis
Answer: GOUT

Our long-winded friend is clearly referring to a BINGO game that uses the three cards given. The complaints that she refers to are all given BINGO-like classifications (a letter B, I, N, G, or O plus a number in the appropriate range) in the ICD-10, the World Health Organization's system for classifying medical conditions. Each sentence references exactly one condition, and all the B conditions appear in numerical order in the same paragraph, and then all the I conditions, etc.

Treating the classifications as numbers (ignoring the tenths, as instructed) and marking them on the three cards produces these shapes:

This looks like: M 10 =. The ICD-10 condition labeled M10, and the last condition to which she refers, is GOUT.