Showcases

by Ian Tullis
Answer: QUANTITY SURVEYOR

"Howie", "numerical models", and "cases" all hint at the U.S. version of the game show "Deal or No Deal." The 26 pictures are the 26 (suit)case models, each of whom is associated with a numbered case. Other than the one for a mere penny, the complaints are all real and all resulted in settlements; take the amount that each settled for.

25 (Hayley Marie): American Idol violated my state's child labor laws! [1] - $5,000
10 (Anya): Coors gave away Final Four tickets without my permission! [2] - $75,000
20 (Alike): Dennis Rodman kicked me in the groin! [3] - $200,000
14 (Pilar): I didn’t register my vehicle, but I was put in jail for not registering as a sex offender! [4] - $1,000
24 (Kelly): I divorced my theater-producing husband and am whining about it on YouTube! [5] - $750,000
26 (Lindsay): I found feces in my gelato! [6] - $50,000
9 (Patricia): I got illegal spam about Tahitian fruit juice! [7] - $200
13 (Leyla): I made a trade with M. F. Stopheles that I wanted to back out of! [8] - $0.01
6 (Megan): I oversee a councilman who failed to disclose a $6 lunch! [9] - $200
11 (Katie): I was a victim of necktie bias at work! [10] - $25,000
7 (Sara): I was harassed by lawyers after claiming that Barney was the root of all evil! [11] - $5,000
22 (Crystal): I was hit by a police pickup truck driven by a German shepherd! [12] - $300,000
2 (Stacey): I was hit with a fish whacker! [13] - $5,000
23 (Aubrie): I was one of many people who experienced dirty disc errors on their PS2s! [14] - $25
4 (Keltie): I was scalded with hot coffee while trying to ticket a Hummer driver! [15] - $200,000
1 (Claudia): I was spritzed with perfume at Bloomingdale’s! [16] - $75,000
12 (Lauren): I wasn't hired because I brought my guide dog to a job interview! [17] - $200,000
16 (Lisa L.): I’m out 100 bales of hay because they planted fescue instead of brome! [18] - $200
19 (Amanza): Miss Cleo violated my No Call law in Missouri! [19] - $75,000
15 (Brooke): My courthouse was unacceptably leaky! - [20] - $100,000
21 (Tameka): My parking garage dispute made me so mad that I taunted a police horse! [21] - $50,000
8 (Mariela): My teacup Maltese became fatter than it should have! [22] - $1,000
18 (Marisa): One of my kids was erroneously thought to be future fodder for a Satanic sacrifice! [23] - $750,000
17 (Jenelle): One of the vessels that submits trip reports to me falsified its monkfish take! [24] - $100,000
5 (Ursula): The FBI wrongfully arrested me for supposedly vandalizing SUVs! [25] - $100,000
3 (Lisa G.): They used my title, "The Atomic Monster"! [26] - $500

Each of these is one of the 26 standard amounts on "Deal or No Deal" (not including November 2008, which inflated the values of the final amounts to $1,000,000 and $2,000,000). Let $0.01 = A, $1 = B, and so on.

$.01 = A

$1 = B

$5 = C

$10 = D

$25 = E

$50 = F

$75 = G

$100 = H

$200 = I

$300 = J

$400 = K

$500 = L

$750 = M

$1,000 = N

$5,000 = O

$10,000 = P

$25,000 = Q

$50,000 = R

$75,000 = S

$100,000 = T

$200,000 = U

$300,000 = V

$400,000 = W

$500,000 = X

$750,000 = Y

$1,000,000 = Z

Ordering the quotes by model case number gets the phrase SOLUTION IS QUANTITY SURVEYOR.