Award-Winning Poetry (solution)

by Emily Lewis, Andrew Lin, and Emily Morgan

Each of the poems can be sung to the melody of a showtune from a Tony Award winner for Best Musical. In each case, the poem and the original song agree at one word of length at least 4. (They may also agree at shorter words, but these are generally articles, prepositions, conjunctions, and other riffraff.) Fill in the matching words in the rows labeled with the corresponding Tony year; read the common center column to find the answer, FORGET PARIS.

In detail:

1952: The King and I

I dyed my hair blue.
I hope you like this new hue too.
Though some might say “boo”,
I really HOPE most agree.
Shrug off the rare few
Who say my head’s floating at sea.
This is my way of showing esprit.

Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to HOPE you like me.
Getting to know you,
Putting it my way, but nicely,
You are precisely my cup of tea.

1963: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

I sent that letter, hoping for better.
I won’t be here again-- it’s time to start my life.
I’ve put my dreams in, SOMETHING I trust in,
Time to be clear again-- it’s time to start my life.

Something familiar, something peculiar
Something for everyone: a comedy tonight!
Something appealing, SOMETHING appalling
Something for everyone: a comedy tonight!

1971: Company

Apparently the voters won’t be voting for Cain; his campaign’s run aground;
And Rick Perry’s brand new ad could make just anyone cuss and start LOOKING downtown
for a candidate to save them who at least has a brain, and who won’t make a fuss, cause they’re passably sane. So explain and discuss this dumb primary.

Another hundred people just got off of the train and came up through the ground
While another hundred people just got off of the bus and are LOOKING around
At another hundred people who got off of the plane and are looking at us who got off of the train and the plane and the bus maybe yesterday.

1980: Evita

Yes, sir, I worship Athena.
(In TRUTH I don’t care for Jesus.)
She gives me wisdom without resistance;
I’m always thankful for her assistance.

Don’t cry for me Argentina
The TRUTH is I never left you.
All through my wild days, my mad existence
I kept my promise; don’t keep your distance.

1987: Les Miserables

Why are you up in your room, cowering here in your own den?
Is it because your father’s caught you pinching stone fruit now and then?
If he enters with a stick, well then a BEATING surely comes.
And you know this is all because you were stealing plums!

Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart echoes the BEATING of the drums
There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!

1988: The Phantom of the Opera

Everything that I am hearing from the used car guy--
It’s all a lie. What do they mean they PROMISE a good buy?
I give up on dealing with this game of hidden charges, extra fees.
I will buy a car on Craigslist-- that should be a breeze.

Think of me; think of me fondly when we’ve said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while, please PROMISE me you’ll try.
When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me.

1996: Rent

This dress looked utterly perfect ‘til I was in it.
I only tried it on for mere MOMENTS, that’s clear.
Now I’m on What Not To Wear and headed to win it.
Bartender, will you pour me a beer?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand MOMENTS so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

1998: The Lion King

With a rat on a stick,
or a floating nose,
plus a wishing ring,
and elven thieves,
shall we play this game, sitting in the basement?
In our CIRCLE, it’s Munchkin we play.

It’s the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place on the path unwinding
In the CIRCLE, the circle of life.

2001: The Producers

Commas don’t need to be copious.
Did you reread the first draft?
Please go and do a find/replace
To fix up all the lower case!
Like the word “like” is quite odious,
Passives are massively poor.
Don’t call me HITLER for grammar, please.
But remember that I’m keeping score!

Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We’re marching to a faster pace.
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Rhineland’s a fine land once more!
Springtime for HITLER and Germany
Watch out, Europe: we’re going on tour!

2004: Avenue Q

All the cats r mine for me 2 caption and 2 send.
It’s a FINE pastime, although not everyone comprehends
That a bicycle that’s invisible is both amusing and sublime.
And if cats of mine cannot spell it is not a crime

There’s a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend
There’s a FINE, fine line between reality and pretend
And you never know ‘til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There’s a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time.

2005: Monty Python’s Spamalot

Why won’t Sparky glow? He says he’d rather hiss;
It STARTS to make us know that something is amiss.
Well, one firefly will not be missed...

Once in every show, there comes a song like this.
It STARTS off soft and low and ends up with a kiss.
Oh where is the song that goes like this?

      FINE     (2004)
     HOPE      (1952)
     TRUTH     (1980)
LOOKING        (1971)
 CIRCLE        (1998)
   BEATING     (1987)
      PROMISE  (1988)
    STARTS     (2005)
 HITLER        (2001)
SOMETHING      (1963)
MOMENTS        (1996)