The Leonine Centaur is known for complaining about her health. It's best to just nod.
"Finally, this sweet ol' hypochondriac has some visitors! I'm just startin' a game, but I bet you'd like to stay a while and hear all about my health problems.
"Whenever I mark these cards, I get to thinkin' about all my own marks... like these, the ones nearly everyone gets as a scared little cub. These over here musta been from that time I was up on the roof, if I'm understandin' the name correctly. And I think these are from that one disease that ain't even supposed to exist anymore... now don't you go tellin' the World Health Organization! These came from that barrel of primates I mail-ordered... fun, my horse's patoot! And I mighta picked up these red spots from that tryst with the Kaiser. I think my doc also told me that I got a virus from puttin' my hoof in my jaws too many times... I do misspeak an awful lot!
"Sometimes my chest hurts 'cause there ain't enough blood getting to the ol' ticker. Least I ain't havin' a heart attack like that time they finally called the number I needed to win big. Come to think of it, last week was the tenth time that happened -- the heart attacks, not the winnin' -- but I find that things go a lot smoother if you just ignore the tenths of anything!
"It's hard to make it through a whole game, because when it comes to my plumbin', I get nerves and I just gotta go. Let's also say that I empathize with Hank Hill and his problem. Think I got some kinda highway to nowhere in there, too. And when I laugh, or cough, or get stressed, I lose my ability to look out for ol' number one.
"I ain't sleepin' as well as I did back at the Senior Centaur Center, and the Scrawny Cider-Hippo over there says that I forget to breathe and start snorin' somethin' horrible. Apparently it's made my face fall... well, part of it, anyway. And sometimes I feel like I got an extra set of legs growin' out of my butt, and then I remember, wait, I'm a centaur, so of course I do -- got three sets of limbs and play one card with each -- but I mean extra invisible ones even besides those. Say, maybe that's why forepaws ache -- from markin' the cards too much, and also from typin'. Think I got the same thing down in all four ankles, too... that's what I get for multitaskin'.
"At least I'm not bearin' cubs anymore... first one practically jumped out of me, though at least that let me get back to the parlor earlier than expected. His younger brother was just the opposite, though -- took forever and a day to come out! And don't get me started 'bout my twins who share a single horse's ass. I tell ya, I was in distress!
"Wait, don't go! I know I'm forgettin' one..."