The Intergalactic Sanitarium Unit
by Ian Tullis
Answer: AMPERE
Each room in the Intergalactic Sanitarium Unit has four coordinates, which describe the dimension of a standard SI derived unit in terms of the four International System of Units base units (length, mass, time, ampere). Most of the rooms have punny descriptions of the unit measure; a few rooms announce that you have "gone insane", give a score, and force you back to the beginning. The list of rooms is:
- (1,0,0,0) [LENGTH; units of m]
- (0,1,0,0) [MASS] (You wish you were at a religious service.)
- (0,0,1,0) [TIME; units of s]
- (0,0,-1,0) [FREQUENCY] (How often have you been here, anyway?)
- (0,0,0,1) [CURRENT; units of A]
- (1,0,-1,0) [SPEED] (You could sure use some amphetamines.)
- (1,1,-1,0) [IMPULSE] (You are struck by a sudden urge.)
- (1,0,-2,0) [ACCELERATION] (You are learning above your grade level.)
- (1,1,-2,0) [FORCE] (Your dark side is threatening to overwhelm your light side.)
- (0,1,-2,0) [SURFACE TENSION] (Your face betrays your agitation.)
- (-1,1,-2,0) [PRESSURE] (Everyone asks so much of you!)
- (0,1,-2,-1) [MAGNETIC FIELD STRENGTH; units of T]
- (2,1,-2,0) [ENERGY] (You feel hyper.)
- (2,1,-3,0) [POWER; units of W]
- (2,1,-2,-1) [MAGNETIC FLUX] (Your romantic mind is in turmoil.)
- (2,1,-3,-1) [POTENTIAL DIFFERENCE] (You are acutely aware of what you are and what you could have been.)
- (2,1,-3,-2) [RESISTANCE] (They can't make you if you don't want to, damn it!)
- (2,1,-2,-2) [INDUCTANCE; units of H]
Mapping the scores to the standard unit abbreviation for the room's associated quantity, in ascending order of the non-zero numbers, yields:
- 1 W = W
- 2 H = H
- 0.000000000000000003 T = attotesla = aT
- 0.000000000000000004 m = attometer = am
- 0.000000000005 m = picometer = pm
- 6000000000000000000000 A = exaampere = EA
- 0.000000007 s = nanosecond = ns
This spells WHAT AMP MEANS, which in this context is the SI base unit AMPERE.