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By Dan Katz and Kiran Kedlaya
Answer: ALLEGORICAL

The key discoveries needed to solve this puzzle are that this listicle actually represents a list of “icals,” and that these aren’t just any lolcats . . . they’re Jellicle Lolcats. Each of the singing cat captions suggests an adjective ending in “ICAL” (or in one case, because Andrew Lloyd Webber hates consistency, a two-word phrase ending in “ACLE”):

Caption Descriptor
2 B OR NOT 2 B / DATZ DA QUESHTUN DRAMATICAL
BWAHAHAHAHAHA / I CANT EEVIN HYSTERICAL
CGI IS OVERR8ED / ALL MAI SPESHL FX R 4 REEL PRACTICAL
DEY CALL ME PYTHIA / I KNOWS DA FUTUR DELPHIC ORACLE
HOW I LUV LE POISSON / TEH DISTRO NOT DA FISHEE STATISTICAL
I DONT UZE “AS” OR “LAIK” / SIMILEEZ R 4 DUM DOGZ METAPHORICAL
I BIN REEDIN CHARLS SANDRS PEIRCE / HE MAKEZ HIS IDEAZ CLEER PRAGMATICAL
I CAN HAZ PRESIDENCY? / MAI PARTEE IZ DEMEOWCRAT POLITICAL
I GIVZ A SPEACH BOUT MICE / I STUDEED PUBLIK SQUEAKIN ORATORICAL
I HAD IDEALS B4 DEY NOOTERED ME / NOW I R JADED CYNICAL
I HAZ MAGIC POWERZ / I GIVS THE PAGE 2 ACHENAR MYSTICAL
I R HOLY WARRIORRR! / BUT NO SHARP EDGES PLZ CLERICAL
I ROTE U A REVYU / UR MOVIE SUX CRITICAL
IM IN UR BODY / EATIN UP UR LIFE FORZ PARASITICAL
O HAI QT / I BROT U ROZES ROMANTICAL
O RLY? / I DONT THINK DATS TROO SKEPTICAL
OMG OMG OMG OMG / UR MAI ALLTIME FAVE!!!1! FANATICAL
OOOOOOOG / I 8 WAY 2 MUCH DYSPEPTICAL
TODAI U R A MAN / MOUSEL TOV RABBINICAL
U SHUD DRINK LESS / OOH MILK! GLUG GLUG GLUG HYPOCRITICAL
UR SENTINZ ENDS IN A PREPOZISHN / FIX IT PLZ KTHX PEDANTICAL

Each of these descriptors appears before “cats” in the last verse of “Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats,” the opening number from the musical Cats. The verse lists 22 descriptors, 21 of which are hinted in the puzzle, and the remaining word (corresponding to the cast member who hasn’t shown up yet) is ALLEGORICAL, the solution to this puzzle. (Some of the captions can almost certainly clue alternate “-ical” words... the solver is intended to identify enough answers to discover the relevant verse, and then use the verse to narrow down the rest.)