Mass Aid: Solution
By Oliver Wong, Henry Wong, Justin Melvin, and Jack Tagye
Answer:
LENT
This puzzle, as the title Spooneristically suggests, revolves around defecation.
The clues all have apropos answers:
| Clue | Crappy answer | Index | Letter |
|---|---|---|---|
| Unclasping and letting fall | DROPPING | 2 | R |
| Popular Green Day album | DOOKIE | 6 | E |
| You go to this guy for everything in a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta | POOHBAH | 6 | A |
| Name of a beetle type | DUNG | 1 | D |
| Problematic kind of matter | FECAL | 1 | F |
| Member of Carlin’s seven words | SHIT | 3 | I |
| Successes in baseball | RUNS | 1 | R |
| Lousy performance or complete disaster | SHITSHOW | 5 | S |
| Bar seat | STOOL | 2 | T |
| Yikes! A way to be scared | SHITLESS | 5 | L |
| Natural fertilizer | MANURE | 6 | E |
| Name of a Japanese dog breed | SHIHTZU | 5 | T |
| Particular kind of self-satisfied smile | SHIT-EATING GRIN | 4 | T |
| Miniature, Standard, or Toy | POODLE | 6 | E |
| Name of a planet | URANUS | 2 | R |
| Pip-ful game in a casino | CRAPS | 5 | S |
| Gastro-intestinal specialist | PROCTOLOGIST | 11 | S |
| Yank an employee away from his job, or throw something away | SHITCAN | 2 | H |
| Record by Papa Roach | CACABONITA | 8 | I |
| Completely inebriated | SHITFACED | 5 | F |
| Noisome Rick and Morty character | MRPOOPYBUTTHOLE | 10 | T |
| Compound in bat cave | GUANO | 3 | A |
| Location on a ship | POOPDECK | 1 | P |
| A type of singing | SCAT | 4 | T |
| Grinning emoji name | PILEOFPOO | 3 | L |
| Jaunty South Park character | MRHANKEY | 8 | Y |
Taking the indexed letters, you get the phrase READ FIRST LETTERS SHIFT APTLY.
Read the first letters of the clues and Caesar shift by 2 to get WRAP ROUND APPROPRIATE PENCIL.
Print the puzzle, cut out the strip of letters at the bottom, and wrap around a #2 pencil to get PLEASE ASK HQ FOR AN INFO DUMP.
Upon calling HQ, your team receives a diaper full of (among other things) four strips of paper. The strips are labelled:
- Neil Armstrong
- Annie Taylor
- Jesse Lynch Williams
- Kelly Clarkson
These people are all the first at something. Take the 2nd letter of the 2nd name of the 2nd person to do each and get LENT as the solution.
| Activity | 1st person | 2nd person | Extraction |
|---|---|---|---|
| Walk on moon | Neil Armstrong | Buzz Aldrin | L |
| Niagara in a barrel | Annie Taylor | Bobby Leach | E |
| Pulitzer drama award | Jesse Lynch Williams | Eugene O’Neill | N |
| American Idol winner | Kelly Clarkson | Ruben Studdard | T |