Special Delivery: Solution

By Steven Vanderveer

Answer: DIRTY MARTINI

Each of the audio files in this puzzle is a mashup representing an official drink used by the International Bartenders Association (as suggested by Ismene, Becca, and Akira in the flavor text) in the World Cocktail Competition. Each of the songs used in the mashups has lyrics or a title that reference an ingredient used in cocktails.

Here is the set of songs (in alphabetical order), and the ingredients that they reference:

Ingredient	Song	Artist
Absinthe	“S.E.X.”	Madonna
Agave	“Lazy Eye”	Aesop Rock
Angostura (bitters)	“9th & Hennepin”	Tom Waits
Apricot brandy	“Apricot Brandy”	Rhinoceros
Bourbon	“Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf”	The Killers
Brown sugar	“Brown Sugar”	Rolling Stones
Calvados	“Snot Love in Spain”	Golden Earring
Campari	“Dirty Drowning Man”	Primus
Coffee	“Coffee & TV”	Blur
Cognac	“Buster”	moe.
Cola	“I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke”	Coca-Cola
Cream	“Cream”	Prince and the New Power Generation
Creme de cacao (chocolate liqueur)	“Candy Cane Guy”	XSARA
Espresso	“Word Crimes”	Weird Al
Gin	“Gin House Blues”	Nina Simone
Grenadine	“Bel Air”	Lana Del Rey
Irish whiskey	“Irish Whiskey Pretty Girls”	Old 97s
Kahlua	“E=Mc2”	J. Dilla, Common
Lemon juice	“Little Secrets”	Passion Pit
Lime juice	“Lee Majors Come Again”	Beastie Boys
Orange juice	“It Never Entered My Mind”	Frank Sinatra
Simple syrup	“Cups and Punches”	Fiery Furnaces
Soda water	“Soda Water”	Jess Klein
Sugar cube	“Sugarcube”	Yo La Tengo
Tequila	“Tequila”	The Champs
Triple sec	“Black and Brown Blues”	Silver Jews
Vermouth (red)	“The Gospel Truth I”	from Hercules
Vodka	“Are You Red..Y”	The Clash
Water	“Cold Water”	Damien Rice
White rum	“Soldering”	Hall & Oates

Each audio clip is a combination of several ingredients (approximately) in proportion according to the IBA guidelines, creating a “sonic cocktail.” For example, 9 parts “Tequila” by The Clash, 18 parts “It Never Crossed My Mind” by Frank Sinatra, and 3 parts “Bel Air” by Lana Del Ray represents a Tequila Sunrise

Here are the sonic cocktails, in the order of appearance:

Songs/Ingredients	Cocktail
“Gin House Blues” (Gin) “Black and Brown Blues” (Triple sec) “Little Secrets” (Lemon juice)	White Lady
“Are You Red..Y” (Vodka) “E=mc2” (Kahlua) “Cups and Punches” (Simple syrup) “Word Crimes” (Espresso)	Espresso Martini
“Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf” (Bourbon) “Cups and Punches” (Simple syrup) “Little Secrets” (Lemon juice)	Whiskey Sour
“Dirty Drowning Man” (Campari) “The Gospel Truth I” (Vermouth) “Soda Water” (Soda water)	Americano
“Gin House Blues” (Gin) “Dirty Drowning Man” (Campari) “The Gospel Truth I” (Vermouth)	Negroni
“Tequila” (Tequila) “It Never Entered My Mind” (Orange juice) “Bel Air” (Grenadine)	Tequila Sunrise
“Buster” (Cognac) “Candy Cane Guy” (Creme de cacao) “Cream” (Cream)	Alexander
“Gin House Blues” (Gin) “It Never Entered My Mind” (Orange juice) “S.E.X.” (Absinthe) “Bel Air” (Grenadine)	Monkey Gland
“Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf” (Bourbon) “9th & Hennepin” (Angostura) “Sugarcube” (Sugar cube) “Cold Water” (Water)	Old Fashioned
“Soldering” (White rum) “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke” (Cola) “Lee Majors Come Again” (Lime juice)	Cuba Libre
“Are You Red..Y” (Vodka) “Black and Brown Blues” (Triple sec) “Lee Majors Come Again” (Lime juice)	Kamikaze
“Tequila” (Tequila) “Lee Majors Come Again” (Lime juice) “Lazy Eye” (Agave)	Tommy’s Margarita
“Snot Love in Spain” (Calvados) “Gin House Blues” (Gin) “Apricot Brandy” (Apricot brandy)	Angel Face
“Irish Whiskey Pretty Girls” (Irish whiskey) “Coffee & TV” (Coffee) “Cream” (Cream) “Brown Sugar” (Brown sugar)	Irish Coffee
“Are You Red..Y” (Vodka) “Black and Brown Blues” (Triple sec) “Little Secrets” (Lemon juice)	Lemon Drop Martini

Reading the first letters of the cocktails in order yields the cluephrase WE WANT A MOCKTAIL. After creating a mocktail and delivering it to Headquarters, teams would be given the puzzle answer: DIRTY MARTINI