[Scene: The hot new club Deathmarch, hosting its first ever three-day Halloween party bonanza. Inside the club, preparations for party activities are underway, although the setup is not going as smoothly as one might like . . . ]

A staffer dressed as the Scarlet Pimpernel is setting up at one of the stations. It’s a bit of a rush job, but that’s because the queue outside is trying to march forward before the club is even officially open. Featured at double its normal size is a large Halloween decoration. One of the staff members wonders idly if someone is going to try to use their political influence to get that one.

At another station they have decided to let the partygoers eat cake (in addition to their regular activities), which is a far better thing! They hope that the public won’t be indifferent to all the effort they have put in, but since civic pride is involved they assume it won’t be a problem. Tripping to the music, someone brings over party supplies.

A few feet away, a neighboring station is shaping up to be a disaster. One of the club staffers stumbled over her assistant and is now threatening to flee to England. The club owner is using his political influence to push her to stay. If it gets any worse, they might require military support for backup!

Over at another nearby station the guards were bribed not to notice when a prankster staff member decided to push their coworker into the decorations. Yet another person tripped on their way to the station. And then a polite party planner was overheard saying “no, no, I’ll go after you” to some foreigners who had come to support the club that evening.

It looks like this club has all the action it needs already, even before the guests start to arrive! And then it’s time to open the doors . . .

Day 1:

The first day of the party commences with the following line of people outside the door, all dressed in thematically appropriate costumes, waiting impatiently to get in:

(Click to enlarge)

As each guest enters the club, a partygoer dressed as the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland yells “Off with their head!”

Mr. Christie enters the party, handing his card to the host, and walks over to bob for apples. He is greeted with shouts of “Hey _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Rushdie, accompanied by his friend Mr. Kavanaugh, hands his card to the host and makes a beeline for the donut on a string. “Hey _ _ _ _ _! Hey _ _ _ _!” yell the other partygoers.

Mr. Bolt walks in, deep in conversation with Mr. Peterson. He hands his card to the host and both men head for the costume contest to calls of “Hey _ _ _ _!” and “Hey _ _ _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Garcetti strides in, hands his card to the host, and walks purposefully over to pumpkin carving. “Hey _ _ _!” yell some clubbers holding sharp knives.

Mr. Robertson sneaks in as Ms. Bombeek is handing her card to the host. He heads straight for the pumpkin carvers, who greet him with “Hey _ _!”; she goes bobbing for apples, where people with their mouths full of fruit call out “Hey _ _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Rigell enters next and hands his card to the host. He decides to try eating donuts off a string, to a chorus of “Hey _ _ _ _!”

Day 2:

The second day of the party once again starts with an impatient line of partygoers, all dressed as one would expect, waiting to be let in:

“We’re just picking up where we left off last night,” the host reminds the bouncer, as the Queen of Hearts yells “Off with their heads!”

Mr. Scalia enters first, handing his card to the host, and decides to try his luck at the costume contest. He is greeted with cries of “Hey _ _ _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Calvert is next into the party. He gives his card to the host and goes to carve some pumpkins to calls of “Hey _ _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Butterfield clears the door and hands a card to the host. He walks purposefully towards the apple-bobbing station. “Hey _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!” comes from some waterlogged partygoers.

Mr. Curry comes in and hands his card to the host. He jogs over to the donut on a string group and hears “Hey _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Sassoon is next in and hands his card to the host. He thinks he’s a shoo-in for the costume contest, so he heads that direction to cries of “Hey _ _ _ _!”

Ms. Bass enters next. After handing her card to the host, she turns and strolls over to the pumpkin carvers, who greet her with “Hey _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Nash joins the party and hands his card to the host, walking over to bob for apples. “Hey _ _ _ _!” splutter the clubbers.

Mr. Pelham walks in and decides he wants donuts. “Hey _ _ _ _!” he hears on his way over.

Mr. Arpaio moseys in and thinks he has the best chance of winning the costume contest. As he is walking over, people in the club cry out “Hey _ _!”

Mr. Vlk strolls in next and decides to pumpkin carve. “Hey _ _ _ _ _ _ _!” echoes through the club.

Mr. Bassett strides in and realizes he has a hankering for apples. “Hey _ _ _ _ _ _!” call the apple-bobbers.

Day 3:

The third day of the party is just like the first two. Another line of partygoers, still dressed as expected, are waiting to be let in:

“Off with their heads!” comes the cry once again. The bouncer sees the host coming over, and calls out “I know, house rules, start where we left off.”

Mr. Hanssen starts off the day and decides that the donut on a string is the place for him. He joins the crowd there to shouts of “Hey _ _ _ _ _!”

Mr. Franco is next in to the party. He enjoys dress-up, and so goes to the costume contest, nearby partygoers calling out “Hey _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!”