Despite my 6.002 test Wednesday and my depressingly messy room and the millions of other things I really need to get done, I practiced the violin for 1 and a half hours today. Not quite sure what inspired me to do it, but I wasn't about to stop myself--- for goodness knows the inspiration doesn't come often enough. The conductor of our orchestra is making some people re-audition on account of their current performance. When he announced that I was terrified and thought he must be speaking specifically to me. But thank goodness that, so far, I haven't gotten any personal invitation for a re-audition. . .


I feel un-proportionally drained. I feel so often an artistic urge, to draw, to design, to write. . . As I think on it, such a useless urge, since no one will ever benefit from the product of these (mostly they're quite awful and I hide them away) and since they don't even satisfy me once I've done them. But I'm having one of those awful times when I feel like, well really anything I do is useless. . . so what's the difference?