Yesterday I went to a talk by the "Otaking" himself-- Toshio Okada, co-founder of the Gainax animation company. The talk was in Japanese (which I did not expect), with some student translators. There was lots of laughing over jokes which went over my head. My poor little Japanese I mind could only pick up words like "omosiroi" (interesting), "tyotto" (a little bit), and "zya nai" (a negation phrase).


But I am inspired now. Gainax was founded by "otaku"s---obsessed fans who started off doing it just for fun. Maybe I can start up an animation studio too ^^!

I had a lovely weekend--- with my dad up here for a conference. We went to Legal Seafoods, the bookstore, walked around Chinatown. . . I had (I still have actually; she's staying til Tuesday) a student visiting from Cambridge University as well (their orchestra is visiting, and MIT's orchestra is hosting them).


The week, however, brings the weekend to a horrible abrupt ending, as all weeks do, and I find myself facing an Analysis of Mathematics test on Friday. I'm pretty sure now that I won't become a mathematician (not that I don't like it; I don't think I quite have the knack. . .) but on the plus side, I built my first logic circuit last Friday, and thoroughly enjoyed it so much that I have decided that I belong in EE.

Er, yeah. . . About the layout. It's a baby pic of my newest crush: Luffy from One Piece. He's so funny and cuttingly honest. He makes me smile when I'm having a bad day. And he's a Sailor in his own right. . .

I thought I had a Biology test today. I was wrong: it was more of a chemistry test than anything. This school has a way of making every single subject into a computational science. Not asking a single definition. Not asking anything about cells. Only quantitative questions about chemical reactions and bonds in cells. I like quantitative questions, but only when I'm expecting them =P.


Though his response was amusing, I have to say I disagree with my TA on the purpose of Analysis of Mathematics 18.100A. My life, and the world in general is complicated as is, and surely does not need my help to become more so. I think Analysis has the opposite purpose: by proving formulas, we construct complicated statements by expanding onto simple statements in small logical steps. This shows that all complicated truths really stem from simple ones. Sometimes analysis does expose some things taken for granted as obvious to have a complicated twist, but by way of proofs, it also shows that these complications can still be reduced to something simple.


The reason I'm putting myself through this ordeal of a class is: (ironicallly) to put my mind at ease: to show myself that the many many formulas we used in Calculus and Differential Equations were not a result of handwaving, but based in reality. Sadly, this urge to put my mind at ease only drives me to construct a proof to the point where I understand it, not to the point where it is rigorous and written in formal mathematical terms. My grades show it. My TA can never understand my proofs, and thinks that I skip a bunch of steps. But since I'm rather on the dumb side, if I think something is obvious, it must be obvious right? I'm wrong---- not because I'm smart, but because I'm scatter-brained. My room is a mess. I'm in trouble when I drop my open backpack because not only are things not in their binders, the papers that are are not in the rings. Who could follow the thought process of someone so disorganized? My mind follows steps in different patterns and much of what people think is obvious I have a hard time understanding.


My dad should be arriving some time tonight, and tomorrow I should be expecting a student from the Cambridge University Symphony Exchange. Hoping the accent rubs off. . .

Me: but it's obvious that the logarthim will be greater!
TA: well, what do you think the point of Analysis is? To take what is obvious and make it un-obvious. To say what seems really obvious in a really complicated way!


Thank goodness for long weekends. We have no class today, and though it will be spent catching up, it's still nice to know I have an extra day to catch up in.


My classes place me in total awe of creation and the Creator. I have an intro to Bio test Wednesday, and I'm having such a hard time keeping all these little things straight! Like the amino acids, all the kinds of bonds, the chemical equilibriums. . . and this is something that goes on in our cells in a few seconds. And goes on perfectly--- for one tiny mistake would cause the whole organism to go wrong. As for my math class, how could the universe and logic be so simple, yet so complicated!

Have you heard of Madonna's children's book called "The English Roses"? I read about it online and came across it at the MIT bookstore. The pictures were very pretty--- the artist (can't remember name) has a lovely style. The content? She had good intentions. During the interview, Madonna stated that she had a lonely childhood. Motherless, ignored at school because she wasn't good looking. . . and that her children were getting lots of teasing too at school, because they had her as a mother. And the thing that she never liked about fairy tales was that the heriones were always very passive--- stood around and waited for a prince to rescue them. So she would make her book for girls different.


It wasn't, really. The message was sweet, but not worded in a way that would make it stick in a little girl's mind, or in a way that was strikingly original and different from the other 100-or so books on that subject. Binah (the main girl, it is a pretty name, eh?) isn't that un-passive herself. On that point, though I do adore stories of damsels who can get themselves out of a situation just fine by themselves, thank you very much (Princess Leia ^________^), there is something more than passivity in Cinderella and Snow White. They're really strong. They've been through a lot, and come out of it still smiling, singing, and happy. They do nice things for people who not only won't return the favor, but that hate them and treat them like dirt. They do nice things for people that they don't even know.


I watched "My Neighbor Totoro" today with Max. The totoro's were soooo cute ^^. And once again, the Friday anime club showing


My warm, fluffy, cozy bed beckons. I will answer it's call. *Bows* Oyasumi!

er, testing new template

Day of many suprises. I made a 9/10 on my Analysis problem set ^_____^; and this was the one I did before I discovered the TA. Slight improvement over my 3.5/9 ^^.


I'm almost finished with my 6.002 problem set, that's due Friday. Another slight improvement to scrambling to finish the day of ^^.


New layout coming soon--- maybe this weekend--- orange and white. Maybe I'll cycle through all the colors.

On Friday I went to the anime club to watch One Piece. It's soooo funny! There's this boy who's dream is to be a pirate, and go to this Island where a pirate of long ago hid his most prized posession. He ate this fruit which gave him rubber limbs, has the knack for finding the exact words to infuriate his enemies, has no planning skills whatsoever (like no idea how he's going to find the island), and picks up weird crew members along his journey. And it has a great ending theme. . .


Saturday, Lindy, Sarah, Vikki, and I went to Next house for a moon-cake making party (moon-cake, not moon-pie), but had to leave early since we were planning to watch "Into the Woods." It's a really good musical combining Cinderella, Rapunzel, Jack in the Beanstalk, and Little Red Riding Hood about what happens after "happily ever after". We knew the King's Stewart and Jack's cow, and they were both hilarious.


And so another weekend passed. They usually begin with high ideals, big plans, hopes for lots of reflection time, and end with frantic struggles to finish p-sets due on Monday. At least I had a fair share of both.

"One Piece" is funny ^____^. Saving anything I have to say for tomorrow, when I'll hopefully refreshed by more than 4 hours of sleep.

How would you imagine coconut curry chocolate to taste like? How about Lemon Earl Grey Tea chocolate? I found out today, as I walked down Lobby 10 and came across a booth selling unusually flavored chocolate truffles. Believe it or not, they were delicious! Maybe it's because Chocolate is normally so sweet that these un-sweet flavors add a nice refined and sophisticated touch--- they tasted so gourmet!


So, I tried out Language Lab today. It was insane! I popped in the tape, stuck on the headphones, and was prompted to quickly respond to, "Kyoo simasu ne?" It took me a few seconds to translate the statement to, "You're going to do it today, right?" and a few seconds to formulate an appropriate response in my mind, "Iya, tigaimasu. Asita simasu yo." (No, I'll do it tomorrow.) By then the voice had already cut in and made the next statement. . . After half an hour of practice, I didn't really improve. Going back and listening to the records of my session was amusing too. So often, I hadn't caught the verb correctly, and would respond to "Are you going?" with, "No, I'll eat tomorrow". ~_~;; We'll have to see how this language thing goes. . .


Max is the sweetest. He gave me a "My Neighbor Totoro" dvd for a late birthday present. . .


Err, off to bed so I can get more than 5 hours of sleep tonight. Oyasuminasai!

To be at the back of the orchestra again. . . ~_~; Dante took Clare and me aside today and asked us to pleeeeeaaase practice our parts--- the section really needs someone to lead them.


As for the results of my stupidly bold daring things, I didn't make the Emerson scholarship. Just as well---- I'm totally hosed. I have 2 problem sets tomorrrow that I haven't even begun to work on yet. The only thing that makes me sad is that I'd like to improve, and well, how can I without lessons? The cycle will continue: next year I won't get the scholarship again since I haven't improved, and so on. The results of the second stupidly bold daring thing are still pending--- amazingly, from right now, it's looking more hopeful than the scholarship by the fact that, since I don't know the results yet, there at least is hope.

I live now with such careless abandon that I allowed myself to do 2 stupidly bold daring things today. The first was auditioning for the Emerson Music scholarship. Such a mediocre musician as myself has very little hopes to be picked as the recipient of free lessons. I always thought the premise of auditioning for lessons was a bit ironic in the first place. I think I deserve lessons because not only do I want them, I need them. Much more than someone who plays the Paganini Caprices flawlessly =P. In any case, I will be thrilled beyond reason if I end up getting lessons, and happy for the extra free time in my week if not. The second bold daring and risky thing I did, I won't say. Unless it actually goes through.


Yesterday, I had dinner at WILG (Steak and Scallops. . . mmmmmmmmmmmm) and am almost so tempted to live there. Really homey rooms, well-cooked meals every day and an open pantry for midnight (or whenever) snacks, and the sweetest people I've ever met. It will just mean waking up earlier than 5 minutes before class for the longer walk.


Today was also McCormick's annual barbeque. Same menu as always: Hamburgers, Barbeque Chicken, and Spicy Peanut Noodles.


I had a weird urge to put up Christmas lights last night. And a weird urge to water color today. The results of both weren't exactly aesthetically pleasing, but both somehow made me feel better inside.

Today is a lovely day. It's raining, grey, cold, and I passed my orchestra audition. I totally went blank in the middle of my piece, but then the conductor was very comforting and told me just to get out my music. I kept on playing, maybe until the 6th page or so... and he stopped me and asked, "Have you ever played principle second before?"


No, I haven't been principle second in MITSO (the MIT Symphony Orchestra) or any major orchestra (unless you count University of Southern Mississippi Music Camp), but that's going to change now. So, yeah, I'm principle second. He might work me in slowly, like put me in first stand, second violin, since it's my first time. The conductor ( his name is Dante Alezoni er. . .spelling? But isn't that a cool name?) told me I have really clear sound and volume and would be easy to follow, but what he doesn't know is that I'm the world's worst sight reader. Arg--- I used to just follow Insoo (last year's principle violinist who is soloing this year and who I swear looks like Chiba Mamoru ^^), but now I will have to be followed--- the 2nd violin section is in for trouble. . .


Oh--- a little goodie for you to download: a Pippin 1024x768 desktop background--- a product of 30 minutes fooling around with brushes in Photoshop. Thanks toV-brush for the brushes.

Wow--- a lot happened today. So, I met my advisor, who was still unaware that I was his advisee, until he went to the department head, and he came back and said, "Well, I guess you are. But you're the only one, so you're special and gets lots of attention." ^^ He apologized for being so out of it as far as administrative stuff was concerned; his lab had just made a breakthrough in quantum laser technology, and he had spent last week traveling to various places around the world to report his findings.


At the registration line, I ran into Vikki. APO (the service group she's a member of) was the one taking care of the registration papers and the members were supposed to be collecting and stamping all the reg forms. Lots of APO people didn't show up, so she dragged me into helping out. It was so weird, sitting at the table collecting, checking, and stamping forms as "COMPLETE" like I had always seen meticulous-looking people do when I stood in line on reg day. What I learned: don't trust those people--- they don't know what they're doing ^^ now that I've been one of them. It was weird when I was taking care of grad student forms: people so much older than me asking if they had filled out their forms right, asking me what they had to do next. . . and just as weird taking care of undergrad forms, because I knew lots of the people, and they were like, "Er, hey! What are you doing here?"


I watched the Matrix reloaded at LSC. I'm assuming now that since I've watched it (I'm the last to see any movie) that I won't have to worry about spoiling it for anyone. Instead of answering the questions about the Matrix, it left me with more. . . So Neo isn't that special, since there were 5 more before him? I always thought the oracle was someone beyond the system of the matrix and even beyond the normal human world, but she may even be of the system? And how did Neo killing Smith make Smith more powerful? Maybe I just didn't pay enough attention to the movie, but it's sort of hard to hear the dialog at points. . . And I'm totally in love with Neo's coat ^_^.


I also found out that I can audition for the Emerson violin scholarship. . . I thought I was too late, but they were still accepting applicants. . .


I just got back from visiting Jacque. . . her twin sister is here for the week, and only knowing Jacque, it's so weird to see a second one of her. . . they're so cute! Being in that room brought back memories--- and now I'm missing my view of the Boston/Charles river skyline very badly. . .


Classes start tomorrow with Bio at 10:00; I'll have the same Japanese class as Lindy and the same 6.002 recitation. I can't believe classes are starting. . .

Not only does Vimal make water fountains that reminisce of Frank Lloyd Wright and the original Teddy Cyborg featured on slash dot, have 10 computers in his room, and a lock on his door that opens only on his fingerprint, he is a wonderful cook. He made pizza and lasagna for his floor tonight and invited Janet and I and the rest of the cooking group crew to join in.


I almost want to live in East Campus. Oh, for walls that were old enough that no one would care if I had a sudden urge to paint murals on them. I know that when I have my own house, I wouldn't want to do that to them. So it seems that the only time in my life that I could ever do it will be now.


Tomorrow is registration. I e-mailed my advisor today to get the response: "Hi, thanks for contacting me. I wasn't aware that I had any advisees, but sure come over and we can chat."

Yay! Lindy's back (my roommate from last year). I went to see her room and it's soooo big and gorgeous. Um, added another bookcase to my room today. And did some rearranging. And Sally cooked these really delicious lambchops. But I'll stop trying to pretend to be happy. Even though today was a happy day, I'm not. Why? How do I know? If I did, that would make it easier to fix, right?


Hmmm. . . sort of random. But a list of the things that ultimately annoy me.


1. Cho Chang. She's not deserving of Harry Potter at all.
2. The sweaky sound of styrofoam.
3. being called a "chick". Chicks are yellow and fluffy; I am not. Yes, it's just an expression, but it makes me sound very hollow and insubstantial, like a Barbie doll.
4. myself. I wish I were easier to understand.


The question of today is, "Why does the world suck?" The sky's been looking like it should rain. I've heard that it will this week, and I'm glad. At least when the world is grey and rainy, I'll have a reason to be depressed.