Life after finals. . .


I checked my grades online today. . . So far Japanese and 6.002 are posted, and they're both A's. *sighs* Thank goodness. But the next two (18.100A and 7.012) are the one's I'm much more worried about. . . I'm counting on 2 B's--- I think A's would be a bit too hopeful.


Lindy dropped by to deliver her Christmas gift. She burned a CD with her favorite music (she says it's "angry" music for when I'm stressed out ^_^, hehe) and the 1st Rurouni Kenshin manga. It's so much prettier in paper than the poor resolution scanlations I had been reading online. And it includes a bonus chapter. Yayness! My gifts were tiny in comparison. I gave everyone a box of Strawberry Pocky, with a folded paper strawberry.


Folded paper strawberry? They're origami, the size of an actual strawberry, folded from red and green paper at the same time, and the green leaves are pulled out from the middle at the very end. There's a little story behind them, actually. In the 4th grade, I had a friend who was amazing at origami. When our class was doing a unit on Japanese culture, he taught everyone how to make turtles, and bears, and many other things. And he was a very patient teacher too. One day this friend, Johnny, completely out of the blue, brought me a little basket of paper strawberries he had folded. They were the cutest things ever--- the paper was red, with little white spots, just like a strawberry. . . I don't know where they are now, but 'll always remember them.


A lot of people have been telling me that they had sad childhoods. . . which I feel extremely bad about. If there's any time in your life where you are carefree, and happy with yourself, and think the whole world is beautiful, I would have thought it would be childhood. Because mine was definitely that way.


I got to do a bit of drawing--- more Ai Yazawa style stuff. It makes me sad, that Paradise Kiss, her manga that I've been reading, has turned out to be. . . a bit too mature for my taste. Happily, the first book is perfectly fine, and alone can provide enough inspiration for me. . . I still like her art style anyway. A romantic shoujo that goes more along my lines is 'Marmalade Boy" (probably because it's written for junior high girls). It's absolutely adorable, and Miki is a very honest girl with a very strong personality.


Looking at this semester in retrospect, how do I feel? Were my expectations of my classes met? Were my expectations of myself met? I was suprised, how quickly we moved along in Japanese, how wonderful my teachers were. . . That was the class I was expecting to do the worst in. 6.002 labs surpised me too--- they were a lot of fun. 7.012, I felt I learned a lot in, and it was an amazing experience to have Eric Lander as a lecturer. He's the head of the Human Genome Project at MIT's Whitehead institute--- and just radiated his love for Biology in everything he said and did. And could explain how the science of biology is evolving from first-hand experience.


Lastly, haha, there's 18.100A. I seriously considered being a math major after Cal and DifEq freshman year. I was so in love with math. But this class required such rigourous proofs of sometimes such trivial things that I felt I lost sight of the bigger picture--- I felt that such a nitpicky proof was obscuring what was really going on. But there were still some instances, where very abstract ideas could be proved very concretely by a few simple theorems, that I felt, once again, the overwhelming power of mathematics. It's sort of the awe with which you observe the gorgeous, brilliant, pure-hearted person that you love, but are doubtful that you'd ever have any chance of winning over. I'm holding onto hope though. Since Analysis is only one of many mathematical branches. I only need 3 more math classes to have a minor, so I'm figuring, why not? Intro to Topology, Intro to Partial Differential Equations, and Cryptography will have me set. And Brett promised he'd take the first one with me.


My expectations of myself are never met. I usually start the semester trying to understand the material, then at the end, just struggling to get good grades. I always tell myself that I'll do better next time.

This has been an interesting day, from the start. I woke up at 3:00 am, and found people in the bathroom getting ready for bed. I studied for my 7.012 exam until 9:00 am, when I took it. At the end, it was a mixed feeling of regret of doing so poorly and exhilaration at being done.


And then it was interesting in a much happier way. I caught up on my latest Naruto episodes. I took a walk to Central Square, which made me :) . Except the Gap depresses me— I’m too used to my Gap outlet $3 shirts. . . And then to the art store. And then I ran into Brett, which resulted as always in interesting conversation (and me trying fruit water for the first time, which I think is just like watered down juice.)


He says people fascinate him---- I agree too. Sometimes, I will just look at the most recently updated blog list. . . And read about people’s lives, about how people reflect on their lives. . . not because I’m bored or awfully nosy (I only read about people I know or don't know at all), but because people are just interesting. He’s been reading biographies lately (a slightly more refined way to satiate his interest in people). . . and he told me I remind him of Di Vinci by my personality and interests. What Renaissance artist would it not be a compliment to be compared to? They’re all so amazing, and I wonder what exactly it was about that environment that produced sooo many people who were so good at everything. I know relatively little about the details of Di Vinci’s life and personality, but I admire all his paintings and achievements so much, that to me, that it’s the ultimate compliment, and one I could never accept. Or if he means solely in personality. . . I’m curious and will have to read to find out just what kind of personality Di Vinci had.


What person would I compare myself to? I mainly relate people to book characters. I’m rather ashamed that I couldn’t think of anyone when he asked. . . Besides the obvious Sailor Mercury, for mainly surface reasons. . . But the fact that there are so many surface reasons is somewhat amusing. I guess I’ve also associated myself with a hobbit— not any one hobbit in particular, but just the race— being small, shy, an interesting mix of hard work and laziness, love of simple things. . . Perhaps Totto-chan (from Totto-Chan)? That’s who I’d want to be; it’s hard to explain if one hasn’t read the book. She’s so sunny and simple. I also absolutely adore Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice), her sarcasm, her individuality, her honesty, how she always says whatever’s on her mind. . . But I lack her social adeptness, quickness of tongue, and charm. (BTW, does anybody else think that the new Pride and Prejudice movie looks horrendous?) I guess I will have to think about it for a while. And read a lot more.


He relates to Walt Whitman, with whom he shares his birthday. . . Here are my favorite excerpts from “Leaves of Grass”, just because they make me happy. . .


I CELEBRATE myself;
And what I assume you shall assume;
For every atom belonging to me, as good belongs to you.


I loafe and invite my Soul;
I lean and loafe at my ease, observing a spear of summer grass.


Houses and rooms are full of perfumes—the shelves are crowded with perfumes;
I breathe the fragrance myself, and know it and like it;
The distillation would intoxicate me also, but I shall not let it.


The atmosphere is not a perfume—it has no taste of the distillation—it is odorless;
It is for my mouth forever—I am in love with it;
I will go to the bank by the wood, and become undisguised and naked;
I am mad for it to be in contact with me.


. . .


A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is, any more than he.


I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.


Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer, designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner’s name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say, Whose?


Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the vegetation.

Sheepieness


Any person with sense would be dressed up in elven garb, watching the Return of the King right now, like Lindy, Sarah, and Vikki. Or flying home like Max, the lucky bum who got through with exams yesterday. His Christmas presents to me were 1 very cute sheep card, 2 very cute (but ill-sized) sheep slippers, 1 adorable Ed and Ein plushie, and the 2nd Evangelion manga. And last night I got to enjoy Janet's Christmas present--- since she was through with finals, she cooked a scrumptious dinner.


I tried delivering Christmas goodies this morning, to friends that I knew were leaving early, but 2 of them weren't in. I hope I wasn't too late--- but if they're home already, then I'm sure they're too happy to mind.


Oh, but yes. I have neither sense nor luck, and I am stuck here studying for my last exam.

6.002 exam was awful. Why does it have to be worth 45% of my grade? Two more to go now.


I've also been working on everyone's Christmas presents. They're just something small--- but I think they're coming out rather cute.


Good luck on exams! (Can't wait til Saturday when I go home!)

Shake it like a Polaroid Picture


I have found, from careful observation of 4 polaroid pictures, 3 shaken and 1 not, taken of my friends and I at our Dormitory's annual Christmas party, that shaking makes no observeable difference in the development rate of polaroid film. But it's sort of fun anyway, and if you'd like the illusion that you're doing something useful, then I guess, keep shaking.


Sometimes I'd like to feel that I'm useful, even if it's only an illusion.

Battle Wounds


I got beat up last night. I have a welp on my left thigh and a bruise on my right shin. We had our very last Tae Kwon Do class of the semester last night, and it involved some free sparring. But compared to at home (my daddy has broken his ribs sparring), I guess I came out rather unharmed.


Our teacher is awesome. I took it for a few years in jr high and I could never manage to do a spinning side kick without getting dizzy. Our instructor took me aside yesterday and showed me what I was doing wrong--- voila, now my kick spins without my brain spinning ^^.

My class schedule for next semester:


6.004: Computation Structures: begins with the basic understanding of MOSFETs and digital logic, and step-by-step builds on this information to create larger and larger blocks of digital components, with the end result being a basic processor.


6.042: Mathematics for Computer Science: Proofs, probability, discrete math


6.170: Laboratory in Software Engineering: design and construction of medium-scale programs; decoupling and modularity through data abstraction, specifications and design patterns; design representations (module dependencies and object models); the Java programming language, with a focus on general principles of object-oriented programming.


Japanese II (Oooh, I forgot to mention that my Japanese interview test was a lot better than I expected-- a 9.5/10)


Some form of Humanities? Possibly Intro to Japanese Culture or Physics in the 20th Century (yes, that's a humanities class, exciting, eh? I think physics is fascinating, especially modern physics, but I'm really bad at doing physics problems, so reading and writing about physics sounds ideal to me!)


I want to take violin lessons again too. I really miss lessons, and lately I sound terrible. It might suck away lots of my time, but it would be nice to have at least one thing that I'm good at instead of wasting my time on a bunch of things that I'm mediocre at, like I do now.


Busy semester, but by the fact that it will be a fresh start, it feels like it'll be better than this one, and I'm excited.

I’m really wondering what will happen on campus before the Return of the King. Last year, there was an Eye of Sauron in the Lobby 7 skylight; the year before, there was the “One Ring” on the Big Dome. Right before last year's finals, there were also scattered flyers bearing Gandalf at the bridge of Khazad-Dum and the words, “You cannot pass!”. I was gone before the end of finals week, but Vikki tells me that there were eventually also Galadriel flyers bearing “I have passed the test!”.


See why I love being at this nerdy school?

I got my 6.002 lab finished on Thursday. Everyone got a different memory chip labeled with initials. Lindy's and mine said "AL", and, after we put everything together and hooked in the chip, our circuit proceeded to play back "Complicated", only rather chipmunk-like because our clock system had too high of a frequency. We replaced a resistor, and she sang too slowly.


On Friday was the my MITSO concert. Insoo played very well, and the Shostokovich came out rather well too. The third song--- D'Acquila's "Mines of Moria"--- should have been played at the last MITSO concert in October, but was postponed so that the composer could come and hear us perform it, as it would be the world premiere. After flying all the way from Italy, D'Acquila was late to the concert. So we had to play it again after the intermission.


The last snow we had didn't stick. But leaving the concert, we were greeted by a purple sky, and blankets of white fluff.


Janet and I are running for our dormitory website chairs again. Here is part of our campaign poster (we're wearing our dormitory t-shirts):




I was supposed to go skating today. But the rink closed early, due to the snow.


It was so nice to wake up late this morning, peer out to see sky still purple and snow still falling, and walk down to our dorm's annual Winter Brunch, full of bagels, fruit, and Krispy-Kreme goodness. Vikki, Sarah, Lindy, Max (though not a resident ^^), and I watched "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer". Stop-motion animation amuses me. The elf who wants to be a dentist amuses me. But I still can't figure out why the little doll in the red dress is a misfit toy.

The first snowfall of this winter. . . I love snow. It's so clean, so pretty, and so inspiring. All the poems I wrote in as a kid in elementary school were about snow. Prettiest winter-time music: Nutcracker (my favorite is the Pas de deux), Sibelius Violin Concerto, and of course, Winter, from the Four Seasons.


"to remain in quiet contentment by the fireside
while outside the rain pours down in torrents"
(the poem that goes with the "Largo" section. I've never had the luxury of a fireplace, though)


Japanese interview test today: Muzukasikatta desu nee. . . I think I gave the teacher the wrong directions to the Cake shop.


This is going to be a very hectic week for me, so I'm sorry that I will probably not get a chance to post again until Saturday. Take care, and stay warm!