Today marked the end of IAP and my robot-building experience. It was quite a roller-coaster day, but in my opinion ended quite happily. This morning marked the preliminary rounds to narrow down the teams for the big, televised, and highly publicized and attended night competition.


The rounds are 60 seconds long---- both an eternity and way too short. We never tasted the full 60 seconds, or any of the 60 seconds of a round today, because the sensor that was supposed to detect the startlight signalling the robot to go kept reading without any startlight at all, and as the robot jerked forward too early every single time, it pulled my breath with it. We had to drop out after 4 such false starts.


The things that made me sad were: not getting to see what our robot actually did, having the reason for our losses be something so minor and having nothing to do with our robot itself, seeing my teammate Brett so upset. This calm acceptance is not because I came into this competition with low expectations of our robot--- like all the other teams, we tried to make the best robot that we could, for personal satisfaction, and to make the competition more interesting to watch. We did all we could, putting more than 10 hours in lab everyday. But of course things can and usually do go wrong at some point or another, and the only way to ensure being happy is not to let these things overshadow the plenty of other good things that happen too. And we weren't alone in our unluckiness--- there were plenty of good teams that got eliminated over very small things. I can honestly say, not just because I don't want to sound like a sore loser, or because I want to say what I know is the "right" or "correct" thing to say in such a situation, that I leave this IAP happy. I've learned about gears (very cool things!), drive systems, and strutural bracing, wired up sensors, enjoyed our moments of craziness at late hours of lab. And for the first time, I got to experience EE and CS tied together.


Lindy's team did very well this morning, and continued to do well in the afternoon rounds too. That was enough to make me happy :). And the last few rounds of the competition, where we got to see very good robots battle out, were very exciting. It was a very good ending to the competition, and to the class itself.


Okay, so having had 5 hours of sleep in the past 3 days, I'm a bit tired. . . must go to bed.

I've pulled 3 all nighters in my life. 1st, to finish up a report in my very first summer job/internship. 2nd, to clear my dormitory room of all it's stuff (desktop computer, desk, lots of books) and stack them into storage all by myself and catch an early morning flight. 3rd, just yesterday night to finish up the 6 .270 robot.


I value sleep over almost anything material, but I knew it was the very last chance we had to work on the robot, so I was gladly willing to stay up. And I was sleepy, but not a head-achy sleepy, rather what one feels when reading the clock in the morning to be 2 hours before you're supposed to wake up, the warm, fuzzy, light sort of sleepy. And Brett was there, amusing me with his silliness, and lightening my unhappy thoughts with his smile. We didn't get the robot done though. We have the physical structure built, but it's not coded as extensively as anyone of us would have liked. Imperfections of sensors and materials made it so much harder to program. It made me a bit sad, just because I felt with one or two more days we could have made something we would have been happy with. And up til yesterday, we were all happy because we thought everything was going just as planned. I hate to have ended the class on such an incomplete feeling. But, life is as it is, and it will be fun to watch everyone else's robots compete tomorrow. And our robot will be doing something, even if we're not quite sure yet what.


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My day in 3 sentences: 2 hours of sleep last night. Forgetting to turn on batteries during first round and pressing wrong button on robot, for a double false start and automatic loss. Recoding robot quick during break and scoring 11 points.

Yay.

"After all, I love him".


So in one of the cutest parts of Totto-Chan, Totto-chan, about 7 years old?, is in love with the physics genius of her class. She sharpens his pencils carefully every morning before class without his knowing, while she just chews on her own. She beat him in wrestling, though, and he announced to everyone that he would never marry her. It made her rather sad, and in her heart she wondered why she had beat the boy she loved, but she accepted and understood why he didn't love her back. She still sharpened his pencils every day, though, saying, "After all, I love him."


That's how I am too. Maybe because I'm a sore loser. No one I have ever admired has loved me back. But I'm sufficiently content to watch them from the side, and try to make sure they are happy. Maybe he, being a full 8 years older, could tell me that I know nothing about love, and I would totally agree. But I still love him in the silent way I know how, and I am willing to learn, willing to be vulnerable, willing to be hurt.

Yay! I'm back from New York. It was a great trip.


We left MIT at 5:50 am to catch the 7:00 am Chinatown bus. I slept the entire ride. We ate lunch in Little Italy, and then headed to our hotel. It was raining and snowing at the same time, which was kind of yucky. We went to Times Square, and saw. . . such an extravagant display of commercialism! But I like well-done ads in general, and found the billboards quite entertaining. Especially the steaming Gaint Cup O' Noodles ^^. We went to Kinokuniya, a bookstore with exclusively Japanese books, in Rockefeller Center. Waaah! Lindy and I could have spent the whole day there. She found some Link manga, which made her happy, and I found Ai Yazawa's Gokinjo Monogatari (Neighborhood Stories), which I haven't been able to find in English at all ^^, plus the autobiography Madogiwa No Totto-Chan, which I've read over and over in English. They both have little furigana characters by the kanji, which means I can read it if I spend about an hour on every page and look up the words I don't know =P. There was also an instructional book on how to make plushies. Super cute ^^. We saw "Beauty and the Beast" on Broadway, ate dinner at a cute little Japanese restaurant. We wanted to go to the Hershey's factory store, but it was closed by then, and our attempts to make pouty faces at the workers inside resulted in hilarious fits of giggles, and total obliviousness on the workers' part. So we headed back to the hotel.


I slept well--- I used to sleep horribly in hotels. But I wish I still slept horribly--- as being concious meant I'm considerate enough to the person I'm sharing a bed with. Lindy slept horribly since I fought with her over the covers (without me knowing it ?), and I felt awful.


This morning was very yay too! After a large breakfast at Munsun's diner, we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Vikki and Lindy reminded me of "The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler", which I had totally forgotten took place there. I could have stayed there forever too. The rooms of the museum are so beautiful themselves, and totally create the optimum atmosphere for enjoying the artwork. I loved all the Tiffany glass, the armor displays. . . After a hotdog in Central Park, we had to board the bus back to Boston.


The city struck me as very busy, and though I'm glad I finally got to see it for myself, I don't know if I could live there. Boston feels much more like home. Tomorrow--- back to my ice-skating, robot routine. I wonder how far Brett's gotten. . . I also plan to practice the violin (I promise this time!), go grocery shopping, study more kanji, and start planning out my painting.

It was sooooo freaking cold today. Windchill of -25. But yet today was. . . happy :). Our New York trip is nearing. Our robot goes. . . and hopefully turns.


I'm always over ambitious. I want to do everything. And I don't see why I can't do everything. Though I have precious few hours in my day, lately I want to paint, and I'm not even really sure what. Most of what I've been drawing is pop-art: more instant gratification, as it takes just a few minutes, and seems to be more generally appreciated among the general populace. I haven't seen anything inspiring of a painting. . . Maybe I'm looking in all the wrong places.

"Well only one robot is going to win, so why not lose and do something cool?"--- one of our TA's.


We switched our robot's strategy from something cool to something simple, but I guess it's just for the better. It's hard enough trying to get our robot to be stable and move in a straight line. (I couldn't help but be sad, though, as we took apart our ball shooter today for the parts. . .)


We had a concourse dinner today. It was Southern/Texas food themed. And it would not be complete, of course, without an assortment of Z's magic tricks ^^.


You know what's really good? Trader Joe's Chocolate Raspberry Sticks. I used to get something really similar from the mall's chocolate store as a kid. There's the whole nostolgic factor on top of the raspberry jelly and the chocolate which makes it just delicious.

I'm so exhausted, so this will be a short post. I cooked today--- an insane amount of linguini with alfredo sauce, asparagus, and ham. I will be eating pasta for a very long time, I can see ^^. I was pretty happy with how it turned out--- considering I've never cooked with asparagus before, but it was way too rich. Must remember to reduce butter even more next time. Oooh---- My friends and I are going to New York this weekend. I've never been, so I am excited! Yay for the cheap Chinatown Bus. Ugh, must go make my room presentable.

I got to read this afternoon---- it was absolutely lovely. I need to do it more often, much more often.


Here is my assembled reading list. Please feel free to add suggestions!


1. Emma--- Jane Austen
2. Memoirs of a Geisha
3. A Hundred Years of Solitude
4. War and Peace--- Leo Tolstoy


I still remember my highschool crush of 3 years— that I met as a sophomore in highschool, 4 years ago. He was 8 months younger than me and consequently 2 grades lower. I don’t know what it was that attracted me too him— his pure expression, the way he was so funny without knowing it, the way he was so brilliant without knowing it. I heard from his best friend that he was having problems and was always depressed, and I always wished there was something I could do to make him feel better. He’s a senior in highschool now, and my mom told me today that his scores are very good, though I know his grades never were. I wish he knew how wonderful he is. I don’t know what he’ll end up doing with his life, but I hope he’ll be happy.


And the wish I send to him passes with the wind.

This IAP term is so much busier than I thought it would be. So, I'm taking this autonomous robotics class, and we've had assignments due every other day. Mostly practical assignments, like soldering, assembling, putting together small sections of the robot that will be identical for everyone. They take so long to finish up. I feel like I live in lab. I love it, and it's good for me too--- I am one of the least practical people that I know. My group probably regrets asking me to join them, though :(. I can learn theory, but have a much harder time applying it. But I do want to be an engineer desperately, I want to learn to be better at this. *sigh* I want so many things. I wonder exactly where my niche is, exactly what it is that I've been called to do. Will there ever be a match up between what I love and what I'm good at doing?


This weekend has been crazy too. Just weeks after getting my driver's lisence, I lost it at the Cheesecake Factory (and it was the first time I had been out since I've gotten here). A lady was sweet enough to call about it and I picked it up and got an excuse to go back to the mall. At the bookstore, I came across this ridiculous book called "Making out in Japanese". It had a variety of pickup lines, and equally as amusing, break up lines. Like one that went, "I don't love you anymore, so I'm chaning my phone number."


I revel in my skating classes. I feel much more secure on the ice now.


Yesterday, Vikki convinced me to go to ballroom dancing with her. I learned the Vienesse Waltz. It's a lot of fun, though dizzying. If you do it right, you're supposed to stare into your partner's face (I have a bad tendency to stare at my feet instead) and the whole world will be spinning around the both of you. I wonder if I'll ever get a chance to use it somewhere :) When did I acquire this love of dance? I used to hate it and the akward feeling I got when I was doing it.

What makes me happy:

1. Slipping my skate-beaten feet into soft fuzzy shoes.
2. Lying down in the hallway talking to friends.
3. Making and donning bracelets of ribbon-cable.
4. Finishing our beacon following robot a day before the deadline.
5. My life, even though it means going to bed at 3:00 every night exhausted.

Concerning Hobbits


My brother has two goldfish, which he has named Merry and Pippin. I was glad to see them alive and happy when I came home, and to see that they are no longer biting each other's fins. They have turned to be very like their namesakes for several reasons:


1.) They love to eat
2.) They're always happy
3.) They've survived lots of hardships--- Most of my brother's goldfish have died in a matter of weeks, and they're nearing their first birthday
4.) We got them as little tiny goldfish, but now they're huge, lol. (ent draught, remember? from the book or the extended version)


It's hard for me to decide which hobbit I like best. They're all loveable in their own way. Pippin is great comic relief and Billy Boyd has the most gorgeous voice ever. . . Sam is so loyal, and simple, and brave. . . Frodo. . . it's hard to describe what makes Frodo heroic. Being a Frodo fan, I have to say that the movie made him out to be worse than he is. Never at any point in the book did Frodo trust Gollum more than Sam, or dismiss him. They argued only over one thing: Sam distrusted Gollum and wanted to kill him, while Frodo had pity for Gollum, and realized that they need him as a guide. And Sam never had any direct evidence of Gollum's traitorousness, only suspicions. . . Though Sam's loyalty can't be matched, and Frodo would never have made it without Sam, if he had let Sam kill Gollum, the ring would never have gone into the lava. Though he cannot escape posession by the ring, it is this compassionate decision of Frodo's that saves the quest at the last moment. And though there are Smeagol-Frodo parallels, they're not completely alike. Posession by the ring took a lot longer for Frodo and Bilbo than it did for Smeagol. . . The posession by the ring is inevitable even for the kindest and wisest, according to Gandalf, but the purity of intention makes itself apparent in how long the posession takes.


I get carried away. . . But I have to defend Frodo's honor. I'm not sure how Frodo appears to those who haven't read the books.

I had a good break. My cousin, this year in South Dakota as an international exchange student, visited our family for Christmas. He missed Indonesian foods so much, and he was in love with my mom's cooking. We stayed up late a couple nights to have cousinly discussions --- I hadn't seen him in 2 years since we visited, and I'm not sure when I can talk with him again.


And I have one more thing I can cross out on my To-Do list. . . Over break, I passed my driver's liscence exam. This may sound very late in coming, and very insignificant, but I've always been afraid of driving, of being in charge of something so potentially lethal as a car, that I've kept putting it off. And it's quite an accomplishment for me to actually get it done.


Christmas came and went too fast. But left me feeling warm and happy. And made my luggage bulge with with a box of Lancôme holiday lip glosses, the Animatrix DVD, comfy new shoes, and a watch. Oh, and a sheep plushie ^^. My parents are so cute. My brother had been wanting to get me the Serta sheep since he saw the commercials. My went to a furniture store that also sells Serta matresses. They asked the store if they could get a plushie. The store refused. They found a nice computer table on discount that they liked. They bought it, and asked the store if they could get the discount. The store said no. So they begged for a sheep instead. The store said yes. It has a 44 on it's side. I guess that's how high I have to count before I fall asleep.

My blog is 1 year old now--- I started writing it last January. In fact, my first post is about the feeling I had coming back up to my dorm room after Christmas, and I just got back to Boston this afternoon ^^.


New layout. . . Did everyone enjoy ROTK? Eowyn 's role was very nice, wasn't it? I thought overall the movie was very good, though they strayed from the story a bit in places. . . but I guess that's to be expected.


A bit too tired from my trip to write very much, but I will soon. . . Lots and lots! Meanwhile, enjoy (cough, cough) some pictures under "Girl" ^^