sort of inspired by sappy movies, sort of inspired by C-
so i've been whining a lot to one of my friends, about my problems with dating. he said that as a shoulder often cried on, he hears too many sad stories and wants to hear some happy ones. no one tells him happy dating stories. i think the problem is that lots of the happy things are happy in a way that can only be enjoyed by the 2 involved... and are too inane for others to have to listen to. but for him, i will try to think of my best short (or very short) happy stories.
wooing stories:
before N- and i were dating, we went to watch "Lost in Translation" with a bunch of friends, then went to a party in one of the dorms. N- is an excellent dancer, the best i know, really, and we danced to the music (energetic and pop-ish). when tired, we took some time to sit out and talk. we talked about the movie, and how much we liked it. "what do you think bob whispered to charlotte?" he asked. "oh, i don't think it's any of our business. i think they deserve to have a moment of privacy. so i'm glad we don't know for sure." "hahaha" he laughed. "that's really funny of you. and so you, to think so." he paused. "this is what i think they said. it wouldn't be that 3 word phrase, the one that's used too often and is so vague. i think it's another phrase, a 4 word one, and one that people should say more to each other." he picks up a piece of confetti from the ground and places it in my hand. its sparkles. "you're important to me" he whispers in my ear. he makes a sort of mock gentlemanly bow, and exits into the darkness of the hallway, leaving me to stand and think about what he's said, and the perfect evening we've had.
L- knew how crazy busy and stressed i was, the semester we started hanging out a lot. he was constantly making me food, and making sure i ate, since i had lost a lot of weight from being too busy to think about dinner. one night i was preparing for a presentation with my lab partner, he showed up at my door, planning to make me pancakes. seeing that i was busy, he just went to the kitchen and fixed up pancakes for both my labmate and i, ready just as we finished preparing our presentation. he listened to our presentation, offered suggestions, and served us food. later my lab mate whispered, "are you dating him?" "hehe, no" i answered. "oh my god, you totally should..." she sighed.
i dragged G- to go with me to a kidsy movie. i was so so so nervous about it, and was not sure if it was a date or not. he laughed at the same parts that i did. i grimaced after tasting my icecream bites-- they had been refrozen and tasted funny. he switched mine with his, which were normal. i decided then that i really really liked him. we had indonesian food for dinner and even though i was nervous he'd find it weird, he totally cleaned his plate. after he dropped me off at home, i lay in bed staring at the ceiling (like a highschool girl >_<), simultaneously beaming and worried if he'd had as good of a time as i did.
while dating:
when i had been all day in 6.111 lab, and was also planning to spend all night, L- im'd that he missed me and wanted to see me for dinner. i couldn't spend much time for dinner, i complained. so he brought dinner to me, an elaborate dinner, beef terriyaki with mashed potatoes, and canned fruit for dessert. he even brought ceramic plates, real silverware, and set it out on the first floor of the course 6 building. i was so happy to get out of lab for a short while and eat home-cooked food >_<. we laughed at the canned fruit which included canned bananas o_O.
N- and i were taking a software engineering class together, but were in different groups. the class was totally sucking up all of our time, so he decided to move his desktop to my room, so we could work together, and see each other more often that way. we programmed side by side, he helped me debug my code, and i helped him debug his. our conversations would go, "amy i totally can't figure out... oh! thanks! you're terrific." "haha, you're so silly! you didn't even tell me what your problem was!" we laughed at funny bugs, like pinball bumpers that rotated constantly, like windmills, or pinballs that moved against gravity, or disappearing chess pieces. he talked about how all people had different weird programming habits, and that his was typing "asdfjkl;" over and over when he was thinking. he said mine was making funny faces at the computer. he imitated me and i laughed. one time, he IM'd to me (yeah, IM'ing while next to each other, super dorky huh) "i program best when sitting by you." "awwww" i wrote back. "i think i do too ^_^" and hoped that we'd keep working together like this for a long time.
when we were long distance, L- used to tell me stories over the phone, after i had brushed my teeth and was in bed. they always involved sheep, and sometimes lobsters. sometimes we played scattergories over the phone, or yahoo games.
i really liked just sitting with G- on his couch, me reading a book, him reading the economist. sometimes he stroked my feet. i felt totally content and peaceful, and sometimes looked over at him, looking totally content and peaceful. G- liked treating me like a cat-- scratching my back, rubbing my head, and pawing at my hair playfully.
at the end:
G- and i had a pretty much perfect breakup. After we both cried for a bit, while sitting on my bed, i asked if he'd come along with me while i went to buy some yarn. he agreed as long as i promised to be quick, and maybe i'd like to go to dinner afterwards? after dinner, we went back to his place, and watched his favorite tv show. we talked until i was too tired to keep my eyes open, and he drove me home, walked me to my door, gave me a long hug, and said goodbye. i've complained before about how breakups are too full of negative emotion, even when the relationships had lots of good things about them. i'm glad to have one that was more like a farewell.
i'm glad for all the relationships i've had, and i'm not sugar coating this, the people who know me would know that. i guess i do complain and cry a lot when they end (sorry to you know who you are). but what i've gotten from all my relationships is the ability to appreciate people for who they are, the different wonderful things people do, the different wonderful ways people show affection, enjoy being shown affection, tackle problems, reconcile, comfort. because of my relationships i've stopped searching for "the one", in fact i've lost belief in "the one" and instead think that a relationship is something that two people find and enjoy and sometimes have to work to maintain, and that i could be very happy with many different types of people. and that's why, even though they hurt a lot in the end, and also at parts in the middle, i'm not afraid to try again, when the opportunity presents itself.
