The Clinton Team

Fun Knowledge Test

We've heard about them on the news every day since August. Let's see what you've learned! (This test closely follows the actual Clinton Team Application for Four Years of Employment/Empowerment.)

CABINET CWIZ (Part I)

• Lloyd Bentsen is happy because:
  • A. His Treasury secretary confirmation hearing was only a formality.
  • B. ``You're no Jack Kennedy'' royalties keep pouring in.
  • C. He only has to see Hillary nude once a week.
  • D. That whole Dukakis thing fell through, thank God.

• AL GORE SLOGAN CHALLENGE

  V.P. Gore wants to make a more positive and lasting impression than his beleaguered predecessor. Which of the following off-the-cuff slogans will help him?
  • A. ``Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Repeal!"
  • B. ``Haste Makes Waste!"
  • C. ``Hillary Makes Brownies!"
  • D. ``I'm so diverse, I scare myself!"
  • E. ``Reuse THIS!"
  • F. ``That's why they call her Tipper!"
  • G. ``... and I'm no Dan Quayle!"

• PERSPECTIVE PROBLEM

  An effective executive branch must be able to keep things in perspective. Rank the following from least (A) to greatest (E):
  • Number of Al Gore's Shiny Blue Suits
  • Robert Reich's height in inches
  • Hillary's hip measurement in inches
  • Number of hugs required to soften a fiendish dictator
  • Number of fingers Stephanopoulos holds up when saying, "I'm this many years old!"

CABINET CWIZ (Part II)

• Les Aspin is:
  
  • A. Proof that an MIT geek can achieve the powerful post of Secretary
  • of Defense.
  • B. Proof that an MIT geek can achieve the powerless post of Secretary
  • of Defense.
  • C. That nerdy newsman on "WKRP in Cincinnati".
  • D. Aspen, Colorado's latest animated anti-drug spokesthing.
  • E. Not allowed to speak to Hillary under any circumstances.

• PRONUNCIATION PRIMER

  Zoe Baird was forced to withdraw from consideration for Attorney General. How would you have had to pronounce her name?
  • A. Zoh-eee
  • B. Zoh-eye
  • C. Zoh
  • D. Zoo
  • E. Crüe
  • F. Si, Señora Baird

• FOREIGN AFFAIRS MATCHING GAME

  The President may need more help with world affairs than domestic ones. Help him by drawing a line from the following international hotbeds to the appropriate presidential verbs. (Hint: these are not in the correct order.)

  List 1:
  

  Appease	
  Bomb	
  Feed	
  Support	
  Visit	
  Denounce
  Blame	
  

  List 2:

  Russia
  China
  Bosnia
  Iran
  Iraq
  Somalia
  McDonald's
  

  (If you used "Bomb" more than once, join the Republican party. If you used "Appease" more than once, join the Democratic party. If you used "Visit" more than once, become a congressional staffer.

  PRESIDENTIAL TIMBER

  The chief executive's hobbies are not only means to much-deserved relaxation, they are important symbols of the administration's Psyche. Reagan played with horses and axes, Bush played with fish and boats, and President Clinton is know for playing:
  • A. The saxophone.
  • B. The horses.
  • C. Possum. (Oops, that should be in the "eating" section.)
  • D. With Socks, his cat.
  • E. With socks, his socks.

Phos