Letters from [deleted]

A real life exchange with Jason Bucy

Dear Editor,

What on earth was your motivation for such a mean-spirited and slanderous invocation of my name?

[deleted]

Don't even start. I would like you to remove your personal belongings from the Voo Doo office. Your things should leave before the end of November, since the staff will have an issue to work on.

Dear Editor,

I am looking for an explanation for your actions.

Right now, it appears to be a mean-spirited and ill-advised slander. The professor in the Media Lab I am working for is in the midst of judgement of her tenure case at MIT, and my application to the Graduate Program in the Media Lab is currently under consideration. Your accusation of felony cocaine trafficking involving Media Lab professors and myself, amplified by your unusually large distribution of magazines within the Lab could not have come at a worse time. And, it is a complete lie.

I am strongly inclined to make a formal complaint to the Dean's Office and the Committee on Discipline for your actions. I feel that you have seriously crossed the line, and your rude and snippy response to my inquiry strengthens that opinion. Your attack was unprovoked and shows very poor judgement. Are you a malicious child, or an adult?

I await your explanation with great interest.

[deleted]

Editor:

In case it wasn't clear from our previous communications, I want for you to cease your harassment and stop using my name in your publication without permission.

[deleted]

Thank you for being clearer in your last message. I encourage you to point out the disclaimer regarding satirical content to anyone it may concern. They may contact me if they want to be assured that the passage in question was merely satire. Your name will never appear in another Voo Doo, as you have requested.

I do, however, resent some of your exaggerations. I must remind you that in light of these and prior events, your relationship with Voo Doo is over. I insist that you remove any personal belongings from the Voo Doo office and darkroom before the end of November. I further demand that you return any office or darkroom keys you have by the end of this month. This decision is final. I never want to see you at Voo Doo again. Also, if I see you near the Pagan Students' Group office, I will consider it suspicious behavior. The PSG office was recently robbed, and finding you in there several months ago tells me you have a means of entry. My temper is extremely short regarding this theft.

Let me repeat, however, that I apologize for the offending passage in Voo Doo and will correspond with anyone involved in the tenure or application decisions over the phone or by e-mail. I remind you that fanciful satire is not slander. I can only offer as an excuse that this issue went to press before your initial complaint, obviously.

Sincerely, Jason

Dear Editor,

Please explain ``satire'' involved, as you see it...

[deleted]

Talk to the author. They might be on phos. It was submitted under a pseudonym.

Personally, I believe it is satire because of its complete unbelievability. It's also funny. That's why we printed it. I think this discussion is pointless. You will doubtless call into question my abilities as editor-in-chief, and I truly don't see what you will gain by antagonizing me. Do not address me further on any of these issues.

Who was the author?

[deleted]

It was submitted under a pseudonym. Ask around on phos, I guess.

What is the e-mail address of the author who submitted the article to phos?

[deleted]

I do not know the e-mail address of the author.

I told you to ask people on phos. I have no information for you. I don't see why your ridiculous assertions would interest the author anyway. I've offered to discuss the situation briefly with people in your application process or your boss' tenure decision. I have nothing further for you. I consider the matter ended.

phos seems to be inaccessable... How does one go about it?

Send mail to phos@mit.edu. Do not send more mail to me. Remove your stuff from the Voo Doo office and darkroom. Return your keys.

Editor's Note: At this point in the dialogue, Mr. [deleted] opted not to contact other members of the staff, but instead my mother in Ohio. A panic-stricken Mrs. Bucy called me minutes later and screamed at me that Mr. [deleted] told her that he had been approached by the Campus Police regarding his depiction as a cocaine dealer, and that the Campus Police were going to talk to me about, not to verify, but rather because the article in question also refered to Anne Glavin. He also told my mother that the Dean of Student Affairs would contact me soon, and that he was concerned I would be as short with them as I had been with him. Never mind that deans are people I respect and with whom I cooperate, unlike Mr. [deleted], whom I have only known to lie, cheat, and be in offices that he no longer has permission to enter. Be that as it may, my mother told me that while she didn't know what satire meant, or that Mr. [deleted] is forty-some-odd years old and needs to grow up, or that he's been persona non grata a few times, I had better get my ass out of whatever mess I was in. So in the morning I visited the Campus Police. It turns out that Mr. [deleted] had lied to my dear sweet mother, suprise, suprise, and that the Campus Police don't consider Voo Doo investigative reporting, or even read it, and certainly didn't approach Mr. [deleted] about cocaine dealing. Instead, he had come to them, entering the police station without handcuffs to their suprise, and filed a report against me for slander, with which they doubted they could do anything. A few calls made it clear that the Dean's Office was not aware of any reason they would be hunting me down, and so I filed a harassment report with the CP's against Mr. [deleted], and talked it over with a dean. I have not decided whether to pursue harrassment charges, but I do want Professor Wood to know that I didn't work on this issue of Voo Doo much at all, really, and I owe a lot to the senior staff of Voo Doo, and didn't punt all weekend on the magazine instead of writing that paper for her.

A Different Editor's Note: Of course we knew the true idenity of the author, but in an instinctual fit of self-preservation, the staff of Voo Doo has sworn to protect each other from sociopathic paranoids like Mr. [deleted].

Phos