Etiquette of Common Living Space

Living with roommates

The basic rule of thumb is: Be respectful to each other and make compromises. After all, you will be living with your roommate for at least one semester. You and your roommate may have very different cultural backgrounds, academic goals, and personalities, and conflicts may occur. It is difficult to lay out the rules the first night you share a room with a total stranger, or even your best friend from high school, but it is beneficial down the road.

Here are some categories where rules and agreements are helpful to maintain a good roommate relationship:

• Studying
  
  
• Study hours and environment—If you or your roommate prefers to study in the room to study, then set regular study hours or rules that apply when one of the roommates is studying, such as agreement on noise and visitors.
• Music and noise
  
  
• Do you and your roommate share music interest? Find your common interests, in music in this case, and keep the Les Miserables CD away from the country music—don’t play on the room stereo but listen to them with headphones.
• Agree to certain music volume levels, especially for late hours and study hours. Remember to respect each other and turn down the volume when one person is sleeping or studying, even during the day.
  
  
• Friends
  
  
• Parties in the room
  
  
• Always make sure the other roommate is okay with you throwing a small party or study break in the room, and give him or her plenty of notice. And invite your roommate to the party! It is his or her room too, and it is up to him or her to decline the offer. Always clean up after the party, and make sure your guests do not touch your roommate’s belongings.
  
  
• Hours for guests—you and your roommate should set up rules for the times guests can stay in the room. Overnight guests should definitely be cleared in advance.
  
  
• Habits and Responsibilities
  
  
• Food—you and your roommate(s) should discuss whether the food is to be shared or not. Use of personal belongings—work out which ones you can share (usually the larger appliances like TV and small refrigerator) and which ones you cannot (your personal computer, toiletries).
• Even if you and your roommate agree to share some things, always ask before you touch his/her pasta or other belongings like a calculator.
• Sleeping hours—find out if you and your roommate have similar sleeping schedules or not to minimize disturbing each other, as every hour of sleep is precious to MIT students!
• Drugs, alcohol, smoking—this should be worked out. If you smoke and your roommate does not, go outside or smoke near an open window so the room does not retain the smell of cigarette.
• Remember to give your roommate phone messages.
• Cleanliness—there should be a schedule of who should vacuum, who should take out the trash, and other housekeeping issues.
• Respect each other’s space and privacy. Set up space that is shared—for example, in the middle of the room as a “living room” space.
• Security—lock the door before both of you leave, do not lock if one is leaving for class and the other is in the shower, etc.
  
  
• How to deal with problems correctly
  
  
• Talk! Do not immediately go to the RA, since you might hurt your roommate’s feelings by that (or vice versa).
• State issues positively, and negotiate.

Table Manners

Normally students eat in a casual setting at a dining hall or a homemade meal in the dorm or the living group. There are also occasions, however, where students are invited to more formal meals, from a gathering at the advisor’s home to a formal dinner for a social function or a conference. Here are some pointers to appropriate manners at dinners.

• Semi-Formal/Formal setting (i.e. a semi-formal/formal function, dinner with faculty; also applicable to job interview over a meal)
  
  
• Napkin
  
  
• As soon as you are seated, take the napkin and unfold it and put it on your lap.
• This is a symbol of cleanliness and manners!
• At a formal event, if the napkin falls do not retrieve it. Signal the waiter to get you a fresh napkin.
• At the end of the meal, place the napkin loosely next to your plate.
  
  
• Utensils
  
  
• Never cut more than two bites at one time. Either American “zig zag” style or European style.
  
  
• Wait for others before you start eating, unless at a large event when the hostess asks the guests to start eating. In that case, wait till the people next to you all have food.
  
  
• Elbows off the table!! Sit up with your arms held close to your body.
  
  
• Finger foods!
  
  
• Do not order finger foods during an interview meal.
• Asparagus without sauce, bacon, cookies, small fruits on stems

• Typical, casual potluck dinner with friends
  
  
• Wait for others before you start eating
• If it is family style, pass the food to the right.
• Keep the table clean.
  
  
• Do not put bones or anything on the table.
  
  
• Do NOT spit anything out.
  
  
• If you cannot swallow something, put it in your napkin, i.e. bones, seeds, etc.
  
  
• Do NOT talk with your mouth full! And chew with your mouth closed.
• Do NOT reach across the table for food. Ask someone to pass it to you.
• Do NOT burp or slurp.
• Do NOT eat too fast. Take your time—Dinner is often one of the daily social events for MIT students. Talk to your friends during dinner.
• Do NOT touch your nose, hair, or teeth at the table.