Endgame Runaround

by Oliver Kosut, Bryan Ruddy, and Ricky Liu

The runaround claims to require a portal gun. Since you probably don't have a portal gun, to complete it you'll need to make do without one. It's possible to follow the instructions in a single group, by running back and forth between where the portals should be. However, much easier is to split your team into two groups, one following the path of the orange portals, and one following the path of the blue portals. When you are told to "go through" the portal, instead have the other half of your team pick up where you left off. Because of the structure of the preconditions and direction sets, the two halves of the team can work in parallel, since if one half knows which direction set the other half is following, they can determine which directions they should follow before the other half finishes. The two halves of the team will have to communicate via sufficiently advanced technology so that each half can keep track of what the other has done.

That teams should split up was hinted at by the fact that GLaDOS gave them two copies of the instructions. Mario and Peach would also gently suggest that it was a good idea; then Mario would go with one half of the team and Peach with the other.

What follows are the instructions in the order that they would be performed if you did the runaround with a portal gun. If you do it by splitting your team in half, one team will follow the odd direction sets (the orange portals), and the other will follow the even direction sets (the blue portals).

To begin, you fire an orange portal at 4-164 and a blue portal at 4-166. You walk through the blue portal and emerge with your back to the orange portal on 4-164.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (False)
• The door has a number pad. (False)
• The door has a person's name written on it. (False)
• The body of the door is black. (True)

• Go two levels up the nearest staircase. (Up to the 3rd floor of Building 4.)
• Turn left out of the staircase. (Heading north.)
• Walk along the corridor until you see the neighborhood of one of the star piece locations on your right. (Along the right wall, there is a poster of the solar system, including Uranus (see below). The star piece location from Katamari Damacy is OBERON, a moon of Uranus.)
• Face the next double door on your right. (This is 4-361.)

You now fire an orange portal at 4-361 and step through it to emerge from the blue portal on 4-166.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (False)
• The door has a number pad. (False)
• The door has a person's name written on it. (False)
• The body of the door is black. (Already done)
• The door's room number is written on the door itself. (False)
• The room number is not written on the door itself. (True)

• Turn left out of the portal. (You now face north.)
• Walk straight and stop to face the last door on your left before you pass through double doors. (This is 4-132.)

You now fire a blue portal at 4-132 and step through it to emerge from the orange portal on 4-361.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (False)
• The door has a number pad. (True)

• Turn right out of the portal. (You now face north.)
• Walk until you pass two elevators on your left. Walk straight if you can, but if you are forced to turn, alternate right/left, starting with right. Do not take any stairs. (You walk north to the intersection with the third floor infinite corridor and turn right into Building 8. Turn left at the east end of the infinite corridor to go north into Building 16, and then continue into Building 26, where you'll now be on the fourth floor.)
• After passing the second elevator, face the second door on your right. (This is 26-437.)

You now fire an orange portal at 26-437 and step through it to emerge from the blue portal on 4-132.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (False)
• The door has a number pad. (Already done)
• The door has a person's name written on it. (True)

• Go one level up the nearest staircase. (Up the stairwell in the northeast corner of Building 4.)
• Make two lefts turns. (You now face west along the second floor infinite corridor.)
• Pass three waste receptacles on your right, then turn right. (You turn right at the first opportunity in Building 10, toward Building 13.)
• Go one level up the first set of stairs you see. (These stairs lead to the third floor of Building 13.)
• Turn left at the next intersection. (Turning west in Building 13.)
• Turn right at your next opportunity. (Turning north along the short hallway at the center of Building 13.)
• Face the first single door on your right. (This is 13-3087.)

You now fire a blue portal at 13-3087 and step through it to emerge from the orange portal on 26-437.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (True)

• If at any point during this instruction set, what you see all around you reminds you of a star piece location, reverse left and right for the remainder of the instruction set.
• Turn right out of the portal. (You face north in 26-4.)
• Go straight. At the next intersection, turn left. (Enter Building 36 and turn left at the intersection.)
• When you come to a stairwell door, go through it. (This is the stairwell in Building 34. The star piece location from Civilization is ORANGE, and it so happens that the dominant color of this stairwell is orange. Therefore, all subsequent left/right in this direction set are reversed.)
• Go down one level and exit the stairwell. (Come out of the stairwell into the third floor lobby of Building 34.)
• Follow the wall on your left until you pass through double doors. (Follow the right wall through the double doors leading to Building 38. During Hunt this took teams by the Metaphysical Fungus headquarters, which were on the third floor of Building 34.)
• Continue and face the 6th door on your right. (The 6th door on the left in Building 38 is 38-370.)

You now fire an orange portal at 38-370 and step through it to emerge from the blue portal on 13-3087.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (Already done)
• The door has a number pad. (Already done)
• The door has a person's name written on it. (Already done)
• The body of the door is black. (Already done)
• The door's room number is written on the door itself. (False)
• The room number is not written on the door itself. (Already done)
• The door has a number pad. (False)
• The door is a door. (True)

• Turn left out of the portal. (You face south in the central hallway in Building 13.)
• Turn right at the next intersection. (West along the south hallway in Building 13.)
• Turn left at the next intersection. (You must turn right at the southeast corner of Building 13 to follow the hall, then turn left at the intersection to take the passage west into Building 9.)
• Continue straight until you see one of the star piece locations. (The star piece location from Mega Man is WILY COYOTE. On the third floor of Building 9, you'll see a painting of Wile E. Coyote apparently smashed into the wall at the end of the hall toward Building 7. The existence of this painting, by the way, is the reason we tried to fit the supermeta answers into the final runaround. The answers themselves were determined months before the runaround was written, but since one of them was WILY COYOTE, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to take the runaround past this brilliant hack. If you've never seen the hack in person, we highly recommend visiting it.)
• Face the first door on your left. (This is 9-308.)

You now fire a blue portal at 9-308 and step through it to emerge from the orange portal on 38-370.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (Already done)
• The door has a number pad. (Already done)
• The door has a person's name written on it. (Already done)
• The body of the door is black. (Already done)
• The door's room number is written on the door itself. (False)
• The room number is not written on the door itself. (Already done)
• The door has a number pad. (True)

• Turn left out of the portal. (Facing east in 38-3.)
• Go to the end of the hallway and go through the door on the right. (Go through the door into Building 39.)
• Continue to the end of the hallway and go through another door. (Go through the door into Building 37.)
• Go straight through another door. (Enter the stairwell at the east end of Building 37.)
• Follow the left wall and go through the first door you come to. (Following the left wall in the stairwell takes you down. The first door you come to leads to the second floor of Building 37.)
• Continue along the left wall and face the 9th door you come to. (This is the door to the central stairwell on the second floor of Building 37.)

You now fire an orange portal at the stairwell door on 37-2 and step through it to emerge from the blue portal on 9-308.

Precondition selection:

• The door's room number, taken as a single integer (removing the dash), is prime. (Already done)
• The door has a number pad. (Already done)
• The door has a person's name written on it. (Already done)
• The body of the door is black. (Already done)
• The door's room number is written on the door itself. (True)

• If at any point during this instruction set, you pass on your right the first-ever of a star piece location, reverse left and right for the remainder of the instruction set.
• Go one level down the nearest staircase. (Down the south stairwell in Building 9 to the second floor.)
• Go through the door and turn right. (Heading north out of the stairwell.)
• Continue straight through a set of double doors. (Going through the double doors takes you into Building 33.)
• Continue until you reach a point at which you may take two different sets of stairs, take the left one. (The star piece location from Mario world is AIRSHIP. Along the second floor hallway of Building 33, you pass on your right a photo of the original Wright Brothers' airplane being displayed at MIT (see below). This is the "first-ever airship", so reverse left/right for the remainder of the instruction set. At the north end of the hallway in Building 33, you reach a point at which you can go up a stairwell in Building 33, or up a short set of stairs into Building 35. Take the right set of stairs into Building 35.)
• After you go through a doorway, follow the left wall until you pass through another doorway. (Go through the doorway into Building 35, and follow the right wall until you enter the stairwell at the east end of Building 35.)
• Turn right. (Turn left toward Building 37.)
• Go through two doors and face the first door on your left. (Go through the passage into Building 37 and face the first door on the right, which is the west entrance to 37-212.)

You now fire a blue portal at the west door to 37-212. The orange portal is still on the door to the central stairwell on 37-2. Both these doors are along the south wall on the second floor of Building 37. The door at the midpoint between these two doors is the east entrance to 37-212.

By this point, you have encountered four of the five star piece locations; if you've been doing the runaround without a portal gun, by splitting your team in two, each team will have encountered two of the star piece locations. The only one left is from Zelda: NERF SWORD. Enter 37-212 and search for a nerf sword. You'll find one hidden in a trash can (well, really it was a short boffer sword that had been planted by Metaphysical Fungus representatives), taped so as to point upward toward a light fixture on the ceiling. A ladder will be conspicuously in the room, which can be used to follow the direction indicated by the nerf sword to the top of light fixture. There you will find a Mario question mark block, holding the Weighted Companion Cube, the friend that Peach was unwilling to leave Aperture Science without, and the coin of the 2011 MIT Mystery Hunt.

After the first team had found the coin, subsequent teams to reach the final location would find an empty block looking like a Mario question mark block after a coin had been removed from it.