a bad emacs user
a Diplomate of the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music
a Hufflepuff
a SIPB member
a level 2 judger
an idiot
a special snowflake
a tetrapodal fish
a dinosaur walking the earth
a professional
a cryptocurrency
a survivalist
a terrible employee
a hippy
a cruel mistress
a space voodoo space priest
an addict
a stupid
a vasoconstrictor
a very forgettable person
a useless hobo
a hug signatory
a lame
a helper
a hater
a non-romance-language-studying heathen
a *cat*
a [redacted]
a terrible person
a registrar
a mixture of elated and terrified
a pyromanic
an MIT alum
a better person than Dick Cheney
a software engineer
a mechanical engineer
a better human than most course 6ers
a being of many identities
a bit of a multiclasser
a sucker
an adulthood god
an attractive nuisance
a true AI
a table
a fairly competitive person
a cheap date
a real adult
a ghost
a banana
a consumer whore
a bad shifter
a freeman on the land
an obsessive motherfucker
an artifact
a horrible TA
a student for like three more days
a bad, bad person
a bad hack historian
an eldritch kitty
a card-carrying non-member of the ACS
a leaf on the wind
a Pokemon master
a human
a Verizon customer
a spreadsheet god
a selfish bastard
a packager for the beefy miracle
a relatively short guy
a shirt
a Sun God
a lich, a lover, a zombie, Skeletor
a web developer
a god
a dualist
a bad influence on me
a cipher
a total optimist
a cube
a wiza^Wnovice Javascript programmer
a guy that knows how to crochet
an arbitrarily polynomial-time approximable np-complete problem
a ball of shit
a whiny little jerk
a terrible ninja
a good influence
a correctcoaster
a pro test writer
a programmer
a zbot
a total Kindle convert
a commoner
a Swiss cowboy
a Troydarian
a turnip
a tiny potato
a NH resident
a huge derp
an optimist
a bad nerd
a student