1-(apologetic)
Dear Woman of my dreams,
I'm really sorry for forgetting to pay the bills.
I was not thinking clearly, and thought you were taking care of it.
So I'm wracked with guilt,
hoping you don't leave me.
Please accept my apology.
Love,
That guy.

2-(sarcastic)
Dear My Vegaterrorist Significant Other,
I'm not sorry at all for forgetting to pick up my underwear.
I was on my knees worshipping your shrine, and thought I could get someone else to do it.
So I'm thinking about how crazy your family is
hoping you don't emasculate me.
Please cut it off now, or I'll do it myself.
Love,
Mr. Sparky
 

From the Stalker page:

1-(all the examples were kinda ridiculous)
To: irate hanson fans - From: Princess Natalie -
Dear Scumbag,
I've been thinking about the quality of our cyber-life, and, unable to express my feelings in a manner in which you would understand, so I hope you get the point.
In a nutshell, you don't scare me.   And another thing, if you want to STAY in the basement,  then you'd better crawl over here and lick my boots,  or I'll sell you into slavery. Not that you'll be any good.
And one last thing... I appreciate your blinding loyalty to the embarrassingly lame pop-group Hanson, but threatening the life of this Princess will not make them notice.... you see what it got John Hinkley Jr.... first class accommodations into St. Elizabeths Mental Hospital.
In closing, I'd like to say... I'm sick of you
Your Mistress