SPAM Haiku 11201-11300

Move backwards to Numbers 11101-11200.


11201.
My gal smells like SPAM
From the neck down...I love her
She's a salty dog.
--Ernie Poole

11202.
a fresh SPAM omelet
beaten ovule, swine bits, cheese
it needs much pepper

--Muffy the Pig Poker, muffypp@hotmail.com

11203.
slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, plop!
the hunter is approaching
the endangered spam

--Alex and Tony, barrelsoffun@hotmail.com

11204.
Santa eats reindeer
But he swears to God it's SPAM
Elves are born liars

--Grumpus

11205.
I regard the cube
Cube regards me intently
SPAM staring contest

--Muffy the Pig Poker, muffypp@hotmail.com

11206.
Pork implants work fine
Have your SPAM and eat it too
Viagra begone!

--Anonymous

11207.
SPAM for Thanksgiving
Give 'em all the bird this month
It's the thing to do.

--Anonymous

11208.
Stink up the damned house
Serve SPAM on Thanksgiving Day
Democratic food

--Pat the dog

11209.
Cabbage moth snowflakes
Drifting, falling, fragile bits
While the SPAM sizzles

--Loco Ohno

11210.
"Price check! Case of SPAM!"
(After paying with food stamps
my shame is complete.)

--Michael Kalantarian, mk@sonic.net

11211.
Wedding cake of SPAM,
tiers aplenty. Cheap, filling,
outlasts marriage too.

--Michael Kalantarian, mk@sonic.net

11212.
Gloved hands hide fingers
That stroke SPAM and form strange signs
Unread by the rich.

--Spamigo

11213.
Moonlit SPAM at pond
Asks crickets a Zen koan
Pond rock only laughs

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

11214.
SPAM, my heart is yours
To die with you, oh my SPAM
From cholesterol

--Anonymous

11215.
Latest theory in
quantum chromodynamics:
the SPAM has strange spin!

--Arthur Durkee, Stickdragn@aol.com

11216.
The president lies
Other pols cover it up
But SPAM is honest

--Demoncrat

11217.
The SPAM stepping stones
Through the gardens of my life
To the old out house

--Fast Freddie

11218.
SPAM in outer space
Trouser weasel strikes again
More smoke and mirrors

--Butt Boy Glen

11219.
My SPAM has gone bad.
And how the hell can you tell?
That IS the question.

--Joseph Gozdon

11220.
Little pink porklet
How sweet you look next to beans
I believe it's love

--Cornbread Toast

11221.
There are no answers,
And the only question.....SPAM?
The great mystery.

--Milton Fr. Ma.

11222.
Ah, "Spammy" the Pig
So near, and yet so far, from
Canned pink succulence

--Anonymous

11223.
Massachusetts SPAM
We call it "Cellucci" here
Some pretty rank stuff

--George Reed, Georee@healpnet.com

11224.
Phlegmatic SPAMku
In the cesspool of Tom's mind
Oozed out thick as pus

--Bob Rafuse, BURLINGTON

11225.
Intestinal breeze
Measured in secret wind speed
Spamic Fartulence

--Pat the Dog, Kick the cat

11226.
SPAMkuaholics
Should have handicapped status.
Write your congressmen!

--Kick the Cat, Pat the Dog

11227.
SPAM foodaholics
Should have tasticapped status
And their tongues broken.

--Stroke the Lizzard, Caress the Clam

11228.
SPAM needs tenderness
Appreciate it daily
Pat it now and then

--Loving Spam I am

11229.
Lillys of the field
Long since dead SPAM eating folks
Wait with mouths agape

--Tom Violet Waiting, waiting for, S P A M Dammit!

11230.
Spambidextrous Tom
Could eat his SPAM with either
Yoga classes eh?

--Tom Violet Waiting, waiting for, S P A M Dammit!

11231.
SPAM in outer space
NASA plays another prank
Bubba pulls it off

--Capt. Spamerica, Wash Wash. D.C.

11232.
Burp triumphantly!
You've finished your SPAM sushi.
Yes, you eat it raw.

--Frisco Franks, Nob Hill

11233.
Happy Birthday SPAM!
*Cheers*, *Applause*, *Burps*, *Farts*, and *Grunts*
SPAM, we all love you!

--Harold Hormel, spamlover@aol.com

11234.
My slippery friend,
Tied to my pennyloafers
Hauling ass downhill

--Charles Heath, Heath_Charles@msmail.asd.k12.ak.us

11235.
My pink amigo,
moist with the juices of love
screaming out, "Eat me!"

--Charles Heath, Heath_Charles@msmail.asd.k12.ak.us

11236.
Watch out! SPAM's coming.
Squooch, squelch, bumph, ploop, snudge, wupp, ugh.
Tripped one...it slithered.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11237.
Talk about one's SPAM?
No...I think I'd rather not.
It makes me feel shy.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11238.
Shut eyes. Concentrate.
Now, truly, what do you see?
Ah!..one SPAM gagging.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11239.
Lost my SPAM today.
Pink, cuboid family friend.
Answers to "Horace."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11240.
The SPAM loaf cometh.
Our champing jaws salivate.
Ah...the scrumptious gel!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11241.
SPAM, like a newborn
Muconium-like texture
Which do I love more?

--Daniel Kahn

11242.
Our first-born child does
Look a lot like a SPAM loaf.
Thank God it is not!

--Daniel Kahn

11243.
Never tasted SPAM
I don't think I ever will
I believe SPAMku

--Broken Squash

11244.
Broken tongued parrots
Chatter in lines of SPAMku
Again and again

--SPAMku You Too!

11245.
Cheap eats SPAM once was.
Helped many a poor man out
Of the project slums.

--All Leaf Oil and Poop Pie, Bluto in Lawrence

11246.
The lost world of SPAM
Under the kitchen counter
Is covered with dark

--Union St. Gang

11247.
When his time had come
That stalwart mister pig put
His shoulder in it

--Matt, mdaly@accn.org

11248.
SPAM thou art my joy
But 'tis not thy taste I love
'Tis thy oozing fat

--The Dead Pig

11249.
Vintage SPAM had cheese
To thicken up the stool-drool
And reduce "SPAM squirts."

--Mary Jane Thomas

11250.
Mating in the dark
SPAM cans Clunk! and bump ugly
Chasing off roaches.

--Mary Jane Thomas

11251.
Fall fireside dining
Browned Spamkabarfs on a stick
Sure beats the mission

--Patricia Barry, anonymously written

11252.
Spamicidal gel
Use it to lube down your tube
Quiets the eel squeal

--Brownie McNugget, Beatrail@pit.com

11253.
Found in the dumpster
A half eaten can of SPAM
Next to a dead rat

--Dee Licious, Deedee@parknoet .com

11254.
A SPAM in the hand
Is then worth two in the Bush
If your name is George.

--yUK yUK

11255.
SPAM can get crusty
If it hangs out overnight.
Put your SPAM away.

--Victoria Valor, vicki@hotnet.com

11256.
I used to love SPAM
Until my last pink pork binge
Now I'm withdrawing

--Spamus Interruptus

11257.
I cough up pink phlegm
And little chunks of SPAM meat--
Spamatorium.

--Raw Oysters

11258.
Labor'tory rats
Would rather eat SPAM than cheese
Post-lobotomy.

--David Numberman

11259.
Allison my love
You're so much like a SPAM chunk,
Quiet, pink, and wet.

--Allison's Good Buddy, Coolbeans

11260.
Christmas SPAM is ripe
Red and green colored yule logs
From the old privy

--Sparky from Arky

11261.
My SPAM is neither
Luncheon nor meat by golly,
It's food for the soul.

--Dick Ted Tospam

11262.
Spamalade jelly
It's great on crumpets with tea--
Drove Di up a wall.

--yUK yUK, anonymous

11263.
SPAM instant replay:
Bite, chomp-chomp, *retch*, slurp Burp/Fartz!
Gawd! never again.

--Dingo Plinker, vegemite.com

11264.
SPAM jingoism
Amazing grace of Hormel
I'm in total awe

--Amazing Grace Murphy, How sweet the guttural sound

11265.
Lard bellied Santa
Ate far too much reindeer SPAM
To fly this Christmas.

--Santa's ex Chef, %#$&%#$# ! AWOL OAer

11266.
...amber lights scattered
across an urban surface
like glowing fireflies

--Tatius@aol.com

11267.
My heart doth protest,
my veins, my veins, they harden,
yet, SPAM, thee I crave.

--Kathleen, Queen of Mean, kkratzat@carthage-high.moric.org

11268.
SPAM am some good stuff
It's Good in two ways......No good
And good for nothing.

--Spamigo

11269.
"SPAM! Working class food."
"Stick to your drawers type food."
Bill Clinton said that.

--I Believe Bill.....The Electric bill.

11270.
New--SPAM Slices. Good
Idea! Folks who like it
Aren't safe with a knife...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

11271.
Have your swill, your gruel
I prefer pink jellied treat
True SPAMecstasy.

--Robbie Delite

11272.
O taste I detest
And parts of pig uncertain
Yet, SPAM I love thee

--The Dead Pig

11273.
Now stop this madness!
Madness, yes, your obsession
With harmless Hormel.

--Tom Lilly

11274.
SPAM fed our fathers
who fought bravely in the 'Nam.
Honor their effort.

--Tom Lilly

11275.
Our dog-eat-dog world
demands some sacrifices.
Die or eat SPAM? Live!

--Tom Lilly

11276.
I'd rather eat SPAM
than giggle in net chat rooms.
SPAM, at least, fulfills.

--Tom Lilly

11277.
SPAM saves starving lives.
Makes a man think. Be a man!
Think spamku saves lives?

--Tom Lilly

11278.
Tiresome, humorless
Instead of haiku on SPAM
More bad Clinton jokes

--anonymous

11279.
Seventy home-runs!
A can of SPAM every day,
That's how he did it!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11280.
Here we go again...
I thought I was over this
Spamku addiction.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11281.
Went a couple months
Without writing one Spamku
Then broke out in hives.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11282.
I am not quite sure
If the hives were from the loss,
Or from eating SPAM?

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11283.
Pink meat in a can!
On the table every day,
When I'm home from school!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11284.
Went trick-or-treating.
The best treat that I received,
Was a can of SPAM.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11285.
Car was rusting out...
Till I patched the giant hole,
With a glob of SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11286.
White trash kids at school.
All they ever bring for lunch...
SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11287.
Of nuclear fusion.
Is it really possible?
Who cares? Let's eat SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11288.
Thanksgiving is soon!
Rhodes rolls and SPAM make great feast!
White trash meal of kings!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11289.
Time to go punch out!
Boy this day sure went by fast!
Writing SPAM Haikus!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

11290.
Summertime TV
ad: "SPAMBURGER SPAMBURGER"
jingles in background

--Lachlan, Geelong

11291.
Working-class bar-B
green beer cans, coleslaw, kids play,
SPAM cubes in salad.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11292.
A journey so far;
SPAM maps my brief existence--
processed latitudes.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11293.
4 years old, I whinge
"It tastes yukky. I hate SPAM!"
"It's healthy," Mum fibs.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11294.
SPAM's pink shape vibrates
(seventeen year old tripping)
reach out and touch it!

--Lachlan, Geelong

11295.
19: SPAM cans are
not biodegradable.
"Unacceptable!"

--Lachlan, Geelong

11296.
Poverty stricken.
At 25 I have no
SPAM. Just one last taste.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11297.
29: edgy
The Frommel conspiracy
SPAM will end the world

--Lachlan, Geelong

11298.
The big four-oh, SPAM
made redundant by gourmet
living's honeyed meats.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11299.
50: spot SPAM in
supermarket--memories
flood my work-worn mind.

--Lachlan, Geelong

11300.
An old man's secret:
indulgence against regime
of health freak rules: SPAM.

--Lachlan, Geelong


Move forwards to Numbers 11301-11400.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.