SPAM Haiku 14301-14400

Move backwards to Numbers 14201-14300.

14301.
Hormel's genius
Such bad food, yet sold so well
Superb marketing

--TFBW

14302.
Hear the name of SPAM
The sound of its name draws us
Like moths to the flame

--TFBW

14303.
Any name a rose
But if SPAM were not called SPAM
No one would buy it

--TFBW

14304.
You can't dwell in grief
On the Hamless Pigs that gave
Their best for Hormel.

--Pig Malion, sowandhow@prodigy.net

14305.
SPAM is delicious
There's no way it can miss us
Too much can kill us

--Period 7 Government AP

14306.
Yummy in tummy
It is made from Gulf War vets
Saddam's in all bites

--Barbara Fulkerson

14307.
I love my SPAM pie
I will eat it till I die
If cans fell from sky

--Steve Anthony of Southern Regional High

14308.
Check out my cool tie
It's red and bow-y so there
Oh, and SPAM SPAM SPAM

--John Paul Stevens

14309.
The Supreme Court rocks
I have a cool dorky smile
Oh, and SPAM SPAM SPAM

--David Souter

14310.
Little pet piggy
I love you more than butter
You will make great SPAM!

--Faye Malarkey, Faye_Malarkey@dc.sba.com

14311.
Piggy paper dolls
I tear them up and eat them
One by one like SPAM

--Anonymous

14312.
Cute little piggy
Frolicking by the river
I will make you SPAM

--Faye Malarkey, Faye_Malarkey@dc.sba.com

14313.
Y2K? Because.
Cold beans, Kool-Aid, can of SPAM.
Hello brave new world...

--david_rohn@dc.sba.com

14314.
SPAM! Damn! Wanted ham,
Not quasi lunchmeat in can
Fit for beast nor man.

--Chuck Pomroy, wj_cpomroy@seovec.org

14315.
Later for you SPAM
If you get me in the end
My butt screw's ready.

--Budd Phug Lee

14316.
My first First Aid kit
Was a plain wrapped can of SPAM
Thus I lost my leg

--Hopalong Mc Gurski

14317.
Cafeteria
Big Blue Mountains of Hormel--
Acres of collards

--More Hos College, Merry Ho Ho Hos

14318.
Sub-pleasureful meat (?)
I contemplate your oneness
Painted on my briefs.

--Mama Maninno, fatz@thetroffr.com

14319.
Your eyes sure do shine
And your teeth...Mmmm how they grit,
But no SPAM for you.

--Dennis De Wann, I love Yecchinesia Dribble

14320.
Where the gerbils play
Got SPAM-packed stopped up today
Thank God for good girls

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM

14321.
I move to the door
And find SPAM in a brown bag
Lit; I stomp it out

--US Computer Dept, ssmith@us.edu

14322.
The nubile smiles, then
offers me SPAM. I rise and
hasten an exit.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14323.
Hash browns, SPAM, and eggs
begs the wisdom of breakfast.
I can't leave the throne.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14324.
It oozes from can
pink and glistening. How do
you get it back in?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14325.
Warhol drew Campbell
soups to acclaim. I capture
Hormel in haiku.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14326.
WTO
Protesters scramble, scream, flee.
Cops open SPAM cans.

--chaz, chaz@innocent.com

14327.
I find myself fried
thinking of goo-grime. No time!
Sleep! Dreaming of SPAM...

--Seagull, jstegal1@elp.rr.com

14328.
SPAM lust: Rub. Tit-al-
ize me. Through erotic pork
thrusts! "Yes! SPAM, my man!"

--Seagull, jstegal1@elp.rr.com

14329.
I never ate it
It scared me as a young child
I will scare no one

--Tiffany, mousijuana@hotmail.com

14330.
My lips are pierced with
shiny rings, oh the SPAM feels
OH so hot down there.

--Tiffany, mousijuana@hotmail.com

14331.
This little piggie
went to market. This sickly
piggie went to SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14332.
Thomas fell asleep.
He was surprised to feel the
hot SPAM injection!

--Tiffany, mousijuana@hotmail.com

14333.
tied in the corner
nothing but SPAM to eat here
I will die tonight

--Tiffany, mousijuana@hotmail.com

14334.
dead cow in the road
what a nice filler for the
blue can we call SPAM

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14335.
Shit Posing As Meat
I fear you, oh can of blue
what secrets you hold

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14336.
deep in the forest
the SPAMalope lives and breathes
the blue can will come

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14337.
deep in the forest
the government will feed us
the blue can of hell

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14338.
our stomachs will churn
as we wipe the glist'ning gel
from our naked selves

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14339.
the blue can lies still
what are you really made of?
it moves while I sleep

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14340.
don't fear the reaper
SPAM is much more dangerous
beware the Amish!

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14341.
SPAM, oh SPAM it's the
magical meat it makes you
poop and stain the seat

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14342.
the cats won't even
try, they dare not venture in
near the can of SPAM

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14343.
Beef jerky out of
SPAM, oh how long could it live?
We would never know.

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14344.
Burning hot lava,
a river of SPAM flowing!
The SPAM-cano blew!

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14345.
Transvestite, Queen of
SPAM dress-up clothes and makeup
traumatized at birth.

--Thomas, thomaskear@hotmail.com

14346.
SPAM my strength of life
Compacted in my colon
Reserve energy!

--Capt. Colon, flush@reb.com

14347.
SPAM buttock trickles
The proctologist's nightmare
"Fingerwave" this Doc!

--Crunchy Undies, Crisp@crotch.com

14348.
crinkle, crinkle, pull
from the SPAM can now open
emanates that smell

--Quillon, Quillon@home

14349.
SPAM am me lunchmeat
Skidmarked in me pantaloons
Written on your face

--Oompa Mama, Chelsea@uknet.com

14350.
SPAM and kidney beans
Blew out my Christmas blue jeans
And killed my gerbil.

--In Memory of Dave the Gerbil

14351.
Suffer no more friends
The agony of de feet
Use SPAM shoe-liners

--Gwendolyn McBride, New Hampshire loves SPAM.

14352.
When a man loves SPAM
Like he loves no other love
That man is in jail.

--Prisoner of SPAM, tossedsalads@MCI.com

14353.
Hip pork in a can
I mean pork hips in a can
Lips, snouts, and tongues too

--Mrs. Bloomeralls

14354.
Pink. Salty. Living
better through chemistry. Ah,
the blood pressure rush!

--Paul Snyder, paulsnyder@mindspring.com

14355.
Well and truly fried,
with cheddar, mustard--on rye.
SPAM. Such happiness!

--Paul Snyder, paulsnyder@mindspring.com

14356.
Dripping, moist and pink,
pungent smell and salty taste.
It's like eating......SPAM.

--Paul Snyder, paulsnyder@mindspring.com

14357.
Nitrates, nitrites, salt.
If ketchup is a veggie,
then these are spices.

--Ronald Reagan, dementia.com

14358.
gelatinous joy!
sizzling on my hungry plate
grind you with my tongue

--WebloW

14359.
masturbation can
my friend billy loves his SPAM
masturbation can

--WebloW

14360.
spiced ham up your ass
she asked could i have it please
shoved it up her ass

--barsoumian garbis

14361.
dog pissed on my tits
cleaned and scrubbed SPAM was rubbed in
fucked the dog with SPAM

--barsoumian garbis

14362.
cat pissed in my mouth
all of the SPAM in my mouth
masked the taste a bit

--barsoumian garbis

14363.
giraffe cum on ass
wife asked how did it get there
giraffe SPAM fucking

--barsoumian garbis

14364.
Binding space and time
In the rock and in the tree
SPAM is the true Force

--Gabriel Ortiz, 7ghent@usa.net

14365.
A nice restaurant
She orders first, fresh lobster
I'll have rack of SPAM

--Gabriel Ortiz, 7ghent@usa.net

14366.
SPAM! My life and joy
In between my legs you're hot
Melting hot pink ooze

--arturo bandini

14367.
Shut the fuck up bitch!
Eat the SPAM bitch, eat the SPAM.
There. Now just kiss me.

--Anonymous

14368.
Glossy monthly pics
A SPAM haiku calendar
Who'll front the money?

--Mitch

14369.
Roll out paper thin
Cut into bite size wafers
Transubstantiate

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

14370.
Brother, can you spare
some SPAM? Be sure it's kosher
'cause I don't eat ham.

--Imolecule, imolecule@aol.com

14371.
Moon Mansion party.
Refreshments: SPAM, & golden
Amontillado.

--graywyvern, graywyvern@hotmail.com

14372.
There's just SPAM and I
A Millennium party
Empty the bed pan

--2K or Y2K?, This is The answer.....SPAM!

14373.
The spirit of SPAM
Escapes through an orifice
Close to my "neither"

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

14374.
You're on my pillow
The brown tracks in my panties
The lumps on the rug

--SPAM

14375.
Cases of canned SPAM
Fill my house to the rafters
Damn you Y2K!

--SPAM 4 sale Cheap!

14376.
I open the can
The warm, pink, pork scent escapes
Um, I think I'll pass

--Kathleen, foo_chick86@gurlmail.com

14377.
SPAM, thou peasant food
Subject of our great disdain
We love to hate thee

--TFBW

14378.
As pink as my eye
As greasy as your hairdo
SPAM is GOD--no lie

--frogger, ezpzlemon@yahoo.fr

14379.
I slice the pink mass,
Grab the bread from the toaster:
SPAM on a shingle!

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14380.
Manna from Heaven?
Your taste is bittersweetness.
A revelation.

--J. Joye and R. Reitmeyer

14381.
Feared I saw the light!
Was only gleaming jelly.
My life's love endures.

--R. Reitmeyer

14382.
Iron bars do not
a prison make. Cold SPAM is
punishment enough.

--J Scharn, iron_bar@hotmail

14383.
SPAM spat from the vat.
(Nozzle control crucial here.)
Horses ground to bits.

--Flatulus Furtivus, jlwindwood@msn.com

14384.
SPAM comes from a can
It is eaten by the man
And fried in a pan

--RM

14385.
Rust in garbage pail
From old tin can of strange meat
Memories of SPAM

--Allison McEntire, mcentap@hotmail.com

14386.
Fill tins to the rim.
Atop SPAM, Carnuba wax
seals brims of the tins.

--Flativus Furtivus, JLWindwood@MSN.com

14387.
NBC says SPAM
Can be furniture polish
Buff with pantyhose

--xphobe, jrugh@tmh.tmc.edu

14388.
there is nothing here
just empty jars and old cans
except the damn SPAM

--miranda, randijoy420@hotmail.com

14389.
This SPAM tastes like...ham?
Ketchup, mustard or mayo
What will force it down?

--_Jim Creamer, creamjim@aol.com

14390.
Shakespearean SPAM
To be pork or not to be
SPAM died for true love

--Alissa

14391.
Gelatinous ooze
Glistening pink rectangles
It's SPAM for supper!!

--Scott Stihler, stihlerunits@mosquitonet.com

14392.
Cinderella's SPAM
Changed by fairy godmother
Into Prince Charming.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

14393.
"Mirror on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?"
"Sure as hell ain't SPAM."

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

14394.
When the Big Bad Wolf
Huffed and puffed their new house down,
Hormel got the pigs.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

14395.
SPAMmie, SPAMmie, how
I love you, how I love you,
My dear old SPAMmie.

--Frank Hartnell

14396.
Eaten even in
BirmingSPAM AlaSPAMa
and CheltenSPAM Spa.

--Frank Hartnell

14397.
SPAM envies sausage
its first choice of the gristle,
intestines, and hooves.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14398.
"Who cut one?" I growled.
"Not me--but I just opened
a new tin of SPAM."

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14399.
No more tin litho
And the key is also gone
Change has come to SPAM

--Dave Pruiksma, nm8rdave@aol.com

14400.
The sweet kiss of death
lurks in the pores of SPAM flesh.
Patiently it waits.

--Scott From Chicago