SPAM Haiku 16001-16100

Move backwards to Numbers 15901-16000.


16001.
Pasteurized processed
pig product takes us ever
farther from Nature.
--Milford Pigboy

16002.
Each blue can contains
blended particles from a
porcine multitude.

--Milford Pigboy

16003.
SPAM, the jelled Heaven
Fried, boiled, or raw, it's all good
It needs ketchup though

--John Mitterer, washc150@yahoo.com

16004.
"Bubba surf-and-turf":
can opener, mayonnaise,
tuna fish and SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

16005.
Can without corners
Once opened the pink inside
Slips out fetuslike

--IG, igman@gci.net

16006.
Glistening wetness
SPAM anticipates the pan
Awaits the palate

--IG, igman@gci.net

16007.
Ate SPAM yesterday
between bread, dipped in egg, fried.
Simply wonderful.

--Ray Sinclair

16008.
My vote will go to
candidate who will use SPAM
strategic reserves.

--Milford Pigboy

16009.
SPAM tastes so nasty
I don't know why people eat
Quasi-meat products

--BPahk

16010.
Three-in-one pig tool:
It pulls tusks, clips tails, castrates.
The swineherd's best friend.

--Milford Pigboy

16011.
I salivate now
Lusting for the porky tripe.
Where is the Beano?

--Sheri Mac, mrmac@uswest.net

16012.
If SPAM were alive
It would grow and become mad
It would kill us all

--Davey, maddhatter@disinfo.net

16013.
This desperate heat
Hot lips long for a cool meal
Weber's. French's. SPAM.

--Laurie, LazyL@wyoming.com

16014.
She licked my asshole.
Her tongue inside my anus.
She tasted the SPAM.

--Joe Peter Napoleon

16015.
I argued in vain.
No one listened to reason.
"SPAM," they said, "on white."

--Fozzie

16016.
I have not had SPAM
Since I was just ten years old
My mommy likes me

--Matt, mattth@hotmail.com

16017.
Squarish pink pigloaf
Rubbery quivering mush
Do your snouts still smell

--IG, igman@gci.net

16018.
Camera pans loaf
The light sparkling on lipid
Arteries tremble

--IG, igman@gci.net

16019.
Each SPAM particle
came from a living being
that lived life of woe.

--Milford Pigboy

16020.
Abattoir-bound hogs
live in stink and do not get
to choose their pen-mates.

--Milford Pigboy

16021.
I write the email
In it my thoughts run like SPAM
I am unemployed

--Aerospace Non-Worker, ignored@the_boneyard.com

16022.
I read the email
I laugh but never out loud
I am on welfare

--Aerospace Non-Worker, ignored@the_boneyard.com

16023.
I mold in my chair
My mind turning to gray SPAM
No Surfing! They say.....

--Aerospace Non-Worker, ignored@the_boneyard.com

16024.
GravyDay today
Because that's the SPAMHead way
We am here to stay

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16025.
Our Friday SPAMKu
Along with Big Phil "My View"
Makes us want to spew

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16026.
My Beau Coup SPAMKu
What BoeKu CanDo 4U
Oh! To do BoeKu

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16027.
Debbie esteemed peer
Can I buy you a cold beer?
Executive SPAM.....

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16028.
Useless no-clang ginch
building their empires of SPAM
complicates my float.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16029.
Government contracts.
Taxpayers fund daily SPAM.
One must love this place!!

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16030.
Status meeting held,
Opened a big can of worms.
SPAM is tastier.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16031.
SPAM kills one quickly.
Meetings too long, too much yak:
Death by consensus.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16032.
Endless chattering,
They love to hear themselves talk.
SPAM, please take me now.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16033.
ShameFilled, NoPride now.
"Oh Please, I'll take anything."
Take SPAM up wazoo.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16034.
On my knees, neck out.
I seek Gravy, I find none.
Bludgeoned by SPAMStick.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16035.
Pound pavement, doors slam.
"Is there no mercy this day??"
SPAM consoles me now.

--Slackers, Various Authors@The_Boneyard.com

16036.
Spasms of SPAM leak
From my quivering keyboard
Ejaculation

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16037.
Can anyone take
SPAM so long and so turgid
I am choking now

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16038.
The dueling SPAM fired
Across the electric chasm
Duck or be stricken

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16039.
Volleys of pink SPAM
Soiling my pristine mind space
I have sinned so much

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16040.
A deluge of pink
A flood of quivering SPAM
All must kneel in shame

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16041.
My guilt is expunged
I no longer sin in SPAM
The cord is pulled out

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16042.
Lightspeed SPAM regurge
Zen Jedi Master of SPAM
I kneel at your feet

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16043.
All watch the gory
Spectacle of decadence
Men of age SPAM'ing

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16044.
Even as we SPAM
Those about gasp, cry with rage:
What SPAM, hath thou wrought????

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16045.
I am a SPAM Man
Better than a Boneyard Man
With pay I can't stand

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16046.
Gunfire, SPAM and You
A long night to remember
Why is my face glazed?

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16047.
Condoms and bullets
Love and hate mixed together
Which is SPAM? Who knows?

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16048.
Three things are certain:
Your death, taxes, and lost SPAM.
Guess which has occurred.

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16049.
Serious error:
All shortcuts have disappeared.
SPAM. Mind. Both are blank.

--Tim, Lyric_Master@The_Boneyard.com

16050.
Pigskins are in SPAM
Footballs are made with Pigskins
Porky Superbowl

--jeff n.

16051.
Five syllables are
insufficient to explain,
the vileness to tell.

--Carl, Just_Another_Loser@The_Boneyard.com

16052.
Other SPAM eaters
will meet death; they also will
have clogged arteries!

--Milford Pigboy

16053.
A Republican
food: tastes like s__t, makes you fat,
soon causes your death.

--Milford Pigboy

16054.
Issue our demands:
Cafeteria crew is
toast if you serve SPAM!!

--Milford Pigboy

16055.
snow white flakes in air
autumn leaves bow deep with dew
slowly melts the SPAM

--Geo-san, zorpack@aol.com

16056.
the boat, the rudder
pressured by the water's flow
while SPAM floats away

--Geo-san, zorpack@aol.com

16057.
unwanted email
minced flesh, gristle, and rectums
modern idiocy

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

16058.
repulsive pink dish
it's enough to turn a man
vegetarian

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

16059.
the forbidden can
Adam and Eve betrayed God
for a taste of SPAM

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

16060.
SPAM's translucent goo
begins to flow around and
encapsulate us.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16061.
GravyBudget: SPAM!!!
None for me!! I walk the halls
with ladle in hand.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16062.
SPAM will provide one
with a more meaningful life
than this non-career.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16063.
What makes better SPAM??
Fat squealing pigs or fat dumb
boneyard employees??

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16064.
Wallow in Gravy!!!
New structural program is
SPAM vibration tests.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16065.
Structural load path
for SPAM is so different
from GI "load" path.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16066.
Small pig toes and legs
may not hold SPAM together
at 3G vibe loads.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16067.
SPAM vibe testing is
not the only place where max
jiggle can be found.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16068.
James Bond martini??
SPAM on the vibe table is
shaken, but not stirred.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16069.
Turn the gain way up.
You hear the tortured SPAM squeal.
SPAM hell, get Ear Plugs.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16070.
Shear planes are yielding!!
SPAM interstitial cracks seen......
Quick, safety glasses!!

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16071.
3-axis table.
RMS shaking of SPAM
worse than killing floor.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16072.
No one believes SPAM:
forty-five degree shear plane:
Homogeneous!!!!

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16073.
The wiggling begins,
We all witness the horror:
we see SPAM D.T.s.

--Carl, Pretend_ Engineer@The_Boneyard.com

16074.
Leftover bits from
whirling knives; as sawdust is
to particle board.

--Milford Pigboy

16075.
How kosher! SPAM! SPAM!
Mazeltov, Mazeltov. Ha.
What a Jewish food.

--Noe Jose

16076.
This delicacy..
Known as SPAM. Fits in my hand.
I worship you, SPAM!

--Noe Jose

16077.
Spelled backwards, SPAM is...
MAPS! If you are dyslexic,
You might think it's pams.

--Noe Jose

16078.
SPAM in its nature
Is something quite attractive.
Eat it quick, or else!

--Anonymous

16079.
I love SPAM. Sure, sure.
From my ram to my ham... Wow.
I really love SPAM.

--Noe Jose

16080.
You who have desires
beyond your control... well, well...
Eat SPAM or die, punk.

--Anonymous

16081.
SPAMalicious, dude.
You made my day, SPAM maker.
This Bud's for you. SPAM!

--Noe Jose

16082.
my life is SPAM shit
oozing from a halibut
johnny, pass the salt

--mad as hell

16083.
blue light flashing bright
SPAM against the wall, spread 'em
ten to twenty, damn

--mad as hell

16084.
A gross jellied mass
it stares at me from the pan
what the hell is it?

--sleepinggypsy99@aol.com

16085.
A Milford Pigboy
and a Rose Cain should get off
on a can of SPAM

--mad as hell

16086.
eat well, my children
can you hear the oinking pigs?
blue tin hell awaits us

--Anonymous

16087.
SPAM, the other brown
meat, mixed with spice and ham, yum
I want more SPAM, man!

--QHS Theatre Guild

16088.
Slaughterhouse workers
like ghouls, disassemble pigs
for treasures within.

--Milfrod Pigboy

16089.
SPAM sandwich makes guts
turn like gas bubble from depths
of a pig lagoon.

--Milford Pigboy

16090.
Do not hesitate
SPAM resurfaces quickly
Run to the toilet

--jeff n.

16091.
Milosevic: Run
and hide! Better stock bunker
with SPAM and TP!

--Milford Pigboy

16092.
Jellied bits of pork
What offal could be more foul?
Can you say head cheese?

--T. Potvin

16093.
Until some genius
invents a new paperweight,
I shall use my SPAM.

--Fozzie

16094.
I throw SPAM on the
kitchen floor and watch my kids
devour it like dogs.

--Fozzie

16095.
I throw SPAM in the
pig trough and chortle. Hungry
pigs have no morals.

--Fozzie

16096.
I throw SPAM in the
green pond and watch it slowly
sink, then disappear.

--Fozzie

16097.
My dog went missing.
I called his name and whistled,
heard the SPAM whimper.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo@yahoo.com

16098.
In the school lunch room,
SPAM does not trade very well.
Pass the catsup please.

--Bloody Hell, phatassmofo@yahoo.com

16099.
Porky to Daffy:
I lost my butt today, pal.
It's in the can, man.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

16100.
Hog nuts and toe jam,
Navel fuzz and piggy breath.
It's what's for lunch, son.

--Protecting the innocent


Move forwards to Numbers 16101-16200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.