SPAM Haiku 4701-4800

Move backwards to Numbers 4601-4700.


4701.
Ascending with flames
A new satellite is born.
Some call it "Telsow."
--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4702.
Workers at Hormel
Monitor love's labor launched.
Hearts and tear ducts swell.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4703.
Knocked out of orbit,
The porcine projectile spins
Into the unknown.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4704.
Somewhere a black hole
Consumes everything in sight;
A blue can sails by.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4705.
Tastes like ham, sorta
But clogs up my aorta
Pig rigor morta

--Bill Muse

4706.
Run SPAM run! Don't stop
See SPAM stop at microwave
SPAM is now vomit

--Kevin Curtiss

4707.
Do you like eating?
What do you eat for breakfast?
Champions choose SPAM

--Kevin Curtiss

4708.
Little loaf of meat
Who's flavor can not be beat
Where's my baseball bat?

--Tdallaire@state.ma.us

4709.
Hank Williams, Jr.
hollers, "Are you ready for
some SPAM?!" No. I'm not.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4710.
Mobil sues Hormel
over the latter's ripped-off
"Pigasus" logo.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4711.
Tie SPAM to your feet.
You can slide down sidewalks like
you're on rollerblades.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4712.
Hermann Göring ate
SPAM in his cell to escape
Nuremburg justice.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4713.
SPAM is to food what
Diet Dr. Pepper is
to Dom Perignon.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4714.
Young Kunta Kinte
was flogged for refusing to
use his new name, "SPAM."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4715.
I think, therefore I
Spam. I Spam therefore I am.
A leaf slowly falls.

--Jess, BiffGeorge@aol.com

4716.
My boss slowly drones
I am thinking about lunch
Will this meeting end?

--Anonymous

4717.
i think spam, hence am
spam: my life's enigmatic,
my world's in a can

--sarah best, smurf98@pennet.net

4718.
two tomatoes, oil,
garlic, water, onion, spam
curry, chop, boil...god

--mkramer707@worldnet.att.com

4719.
Desperate Bob Dole
promises everyone SPAM.
Only Clinton bites.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4720.
"...the slithy toves did
gyre and gimbol in the wabe..."
Carroll conceived SPAM!

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4721.
For Halloween treats
dip SPAM cubes in chocolate.
Who's the trick on now?

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4722.
Hormel reads Dilbert
to improve efficiency.
Ratbert, Catbert canned.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4723.
If I had a dime
For each time I've enjoyed SPAM
OK, next topic

--Casey Gilbertson, http://coyote.accessnv.com/casey

4724.
Open, open up.
Spoon, spoon, spoon out that pink stuff!
Yes, fry it and eat.

--Kevin Kennedy, lushi@voyager.net

4725.
Squishy and juicy,
Tastes like not real food products
When it is consumed.

--Anonymous

4726.
SPAM in the oven
Just needs a little lovin':
Pineapple slices.

--Kevin Pyles, pyles@macroint.com

4727.
Plates of SPAM, rotting
Leaves of fall, pumpkins alike
I eat more, rake less

--Chris

4728.
Chew, puff, chew, puff, chew
The cigarette gives the SPAM
Pleasant smoky taste

--David H. Martin, davidm@objectGuild.com

4729.
It's so convenient!
You use the empty SPAM can
For your cigarettes

--David H. Martin, davidm@objectGuild.com

4730.
SPAM fried in butter
Wafting into my bedroom
Need a new roommate

--David H. Martin, davidm@objectGuild.com

4731.
SPAM omnipresent.
You can run but you can't hide.
In SPAM we abide.

--Sergeant SPAM

4732.
If you want to die
in honorable fashion,
SPAM under the tongue.

--Ben Tallen, tall0032@gold.tc.umn.edu

4733.
Police use SPAM spray
as pepper spray substitute.
Suspect D.O.A.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4734.
Considerations
of cost, not taste, replaced the
ice swans with SPAM pigs.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4735.
The manic gobbles
SPAM but the suicidal
depressive does too.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4736.
Warning labels now
On SPAM containers. "May be
Hazardous to life."

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4737.
Cold aliens find
SPAM-based life on Earth. Weapons
Set to vaporize.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4738.
More workplaces now
Have set up isolated
Zones where SPAM's allowed.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4739.
In Sleepers, prison
Guards force boys to eat SPAM. No
Revenge is enough.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4740.
Don't ban SPAM! Just think:
Bootleggers running tinned meat
In from Canada.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

4741.
should I comb spam's hair
or should spam wear it matted
I need some shampoo

--Anonymous

4742.
Pass the pipe, Charlie
Light the SPAM, inhale deeply
This shit is the best

--Anonymous

4743.
the reason kids starve
in the African nations
SPAM is all they have

--tim laffey

4744.
When you pop the can
Don't let the juices hit you
Or a rash will come.

--tim laffey

4745.
I like to eat SPAM
I eat it everyday
I have gone insane

--tim laffey

4746.
I asked my teacher
How they made SPAM so tasty
"Don't ask, just enjoy"

--tim laffey

4747.
Digging in the trash,
Found leftover baby parts.
More SPAM for the poor.

--Angelo

4748.
SPAM is like a 'fro.
Sticky, greasy, and gooey.
Kinda hard to comb.

--Marcus Hathcock, osiris@spnt.com

4749.
I offer the SPAM
To the aborigines--
Ow! A poison dart!

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4750.
At my confession:
"I love SPAM." "What, carnally?"
Hadn't thought of that.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4751.
Flossing before bed,
I unearthed a speck of pink--
Hint of last night's SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4752.
Ask the maitre d'
If the restaurant serves SPAM:
You will be kicked out.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4753.
Pockmarked can of SPAM
Behind the old wooden fence--
BB gun's target.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4754.
It's leaked to the press--
In the Unabomber's shack,
Thousands of SPAM tins.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4755.
Listen--I hear the
Crystal clear sizzle and pop
Of SPAM fried in oil.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4756.
I lost my glue, but
I found SPAM's just as sticky,
And has a nice smell.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4757.
Discarded bread crusts,
Bits of pink meat and mustard...
A feast for the birds.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4758.
He looks up from lunch,
Smells leaves mingled with the pork;
Soon, the harvest moon.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4759.
Solitary block
Discovered on Mauritius
Marks of dodo beaks

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4760.
A logic nightmare:
Ten thousand inputs, one out;
It is the SPAM gate.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4761.
Succulent naiad,
I envy the warming oil
In which you now bathe!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4762.
Halloween gross-out:
Olives are "eyes"; Jell-O, "brains"
SPAM is served as-is.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4763.
What hath Hormel wrought?
A tin of twisted tendons
A cube of carnage

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4764.
Edgar Allan Poe
"The Fall of the House of SPAM"
His only failure

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4765.
Arnold, Babe, Wilbur:
How hath the meaty fallen!
Hormel shall have them.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4766.
SPAM fried in grape leaves
Then smothered in olive oil
The glory of Greece!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4767.
It had to happen
New from Andrew Lloyd Webber
SPAM: The Musical.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4768.
He, too, shall be canned
His stardom notwithstanding
"Th-th-that's all, folks!"

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4769.
Hell's center circle
Is filled with sinful gourmets
Being force-fed SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4770.
A forkful of SPAM
Fell in the radiator.
Now it is winter.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4771.
I'd rather eat SPAM
Than have rabies-addled clowns
Beat me with mallets.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4772.
SPAM, SPAM on the range,
Burners glowing red beneath
The non-stick griddle.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4773.
Frying up some SPAM,
I used too little oil, and
The smoke alarm blared.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4774.
Where is the SPAM of
Yesteryear? (Or, in French: "Ou
Est le SPAM d'antan?
")

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4775.
The man is ashamed
To tell the prostitute what
To do with the SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4776.
SPAM the Wonder Meat
Jellied shimmering beauty
Beckoning us forth

--Andrew Seamans

4777.
Life, it is like SPAM
Shiny and shimmering first
But full of strange things

--Andrew Seamans

4778.
I eat SPAM for lunch
I always eat SPAM at night
My aching colon

--Andrew Seamans

4779.
oh, spamku. are you
true art or mere distraction?
prose for the ages.

--spok, mstebbins@vnet.ibm.com

4780.
michael palin says,
"i'll eat your spam, i love it!"
fork it over, bub.

--spok, mstebbins@vnet.ibm.com

4781.
With knife to your neck
SPAM is on my crazy mind
Want that from behind

--Anonymous

4782.
The roulette wheel spins--
I win! That's thirty-five more
Cans of SPAM for me!

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4783.
The scorpion stings
The chunk of SPAM many times.
So much for dinner.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4784.
The madman wants to
Eat humans. We feed him SPAM;
He's none the wiser.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4785.
The red robin's head
Is stuck in the block of SPAM
Where I shoved it in

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4786.
It seemed very strange
To see the SPAM stood on end--
A new perspective.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4787.
Strange, familiar smell
Coming from my mailbox. Ah!
Mother remembered.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4788.
I really love SPAM
It melts in your microwave
But not in your mouth

--Raanan Elefant

4789.
Playing blues guitar;
bottleneck falls, breaks on floor.
Use SPAM can as slide.

--Tim Bender, Nasrouddine@hotmail.com

4790.
With the empty can
Held up to my ear, I hear
The sound of the sty.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4791.
Twenty ants working
Together to carry the
Can to the anthill.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4792.
"Kiss me," she pleaded,
But I cruelly turned away,
Having seen her lunch.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4793.
The FBI puts
Computer chips in my SPAM.
You think I'm crazy.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4794.
Eating SPAM is like
riding in a limousine
with Tupac Shakur.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4795.
Catherine the Great,
according to rumor, was
crushed by falling SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4796.
Ever seen liver
pudding? It's like SPAM that they
forgot to dye pink.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4797.
Constipation cure:
SPAM and chewing tobacco.
Run! Duck and cover!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4798.
Coed asks of SPAM,
"Why does it taste so salty?"
Wait, it wasn't SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4799.
Hillbilly shoots pig.
Processed food product spews forth.
Pink gold! Texas tea!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4800.
Clueless old lady
puts SPAM in the microwave
with her wet poodle.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com


Move forwards to Numbers 4801-4900.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.