SPAM Haiku 5101-5200

Move backwards to Numbers 5001-5100.


5101.
What's the difference
Between SPAM and a Middle
East peace treaty? None.
--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5102.
What's the difference
Between SPAM and food? A crazed
Imagination.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5103.
NO! Don't slam that SPAM
Get your RDA of grease
The best source of all

--Cholesterol 300

5104.
Well, I trust you all
Had a pleasant SPAMgiving,
And no leftovers.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

5105.
Pilgrims at Plymouth:
Natives seek to drive them off.
Give them gift of SPAM.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

5106.
Squanto, Indian;
Name sounds like digestive tract
Noise when you eat SPAM.

--Martin H.Booda, booda@datasync.com

5107.
Superglutinous
Post-excretal Aberrant
Miniporcine. SPAM.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5108.
Ear, nose, and throat. Some
say, "Medical specialty."
Others say, "That's SPAM!"

--Joel Schwartz

5109.
All pink meat lovers
With too much time on their hands
Craft world made of SPAM

--Anonymous

5110.
Hormel drops SPAM cans
Over Bosnian surrounds
War intensifies

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5111.
In ancient war times
Besieged towns had no SPAM cans
"No SPAM? Down we go!"

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5112.
"Thou shalt not consume
SPAM, if thy liveth in peace!"
Said that wise Moses.

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5113.
Farmer's big error
Feeding rats in the barn SPAM
Not poison, rat chow

--Luke Ellis, Australia

5114.
Hormel thanks for SPAM
I eat it with cousin Sam
Sam's stomach goes bam!

--Rebecca Phipps and Kristin Baysek, dphipps@wave-net.net

5115.
Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn
Thanks so much for Hormel SPAM
I love you SPAM Man!

--Rebecca Phipps and Kristin Baysek, dphipps@wave-net.net

5116.
In Minnesota
Bells are tolling joyously.
SPAMs are canned today!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5117.
tasteful & juicy
delightfulness of pork fat
hardens in my veins

--Gabriel

5118.
a single spoonful
breeds grease-laden fingertips
nevermore feel clean

--Gabriel

5119.
SPAM, you give me food
You give me strength in my mood
SPAM Man, you're a dude!

--Anonymous

5120.
"Who is SPAMIA?
What is she, that all our swine
Condemn her?" --Shakespeare

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5121.
The devil steers Cho
To a mile-high stack of SPAM.
"Start eating," he says.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5122.
New SPAM substitute:
Pink tofu! The slogan is
"Tastes great. Less killing."

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5123.
Forsaking the frog,
She kisses a can of SPAM.
Rush Limbaugh appears.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5124.
SPAM on railroad tracks
Diesels skidding into town
Squealing like stuck pigs

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5125.
Of course I love you!
That's why I'm giving you SPAM.
Happy Hanukkah.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5126.
The morning paper.
Headline: "Tiny Tim Is Dead."
A tear on my SPAM.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5127.
The party pooper
Quietly opens a can.
SPAM in the punch bowl.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5128.
Cold steel in a pig.
Clean up the blood, cook the flesh:
A pig in cold steel.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5129.
Sushi made with SPAM
Is like Madam Butterfly
Played by Madonna.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5130.
Law of Digestion
of SPAM: SPAM not absorbed, it
also isn't changed.

--Lady Lackoflife

5131.
Tinfoil wrapped around
empty blue tins, smeared with SPAM.
Doctor Who monster.

--Lady Lackoflife

5132.
Useful for simu-
lating a gory flesh wound
during Halloween.

--Lady Lackoflife

5133.
Count Spamula: sucks
cholesterol, sleeps in blue
tin, and never dies.

--Lady Lackoflife

5134.
To preserve something
valuable for eterni-
ty, coat with SPAM juice.

--Lady Lackoflife

5135.
Clouds of mayonnaise
Over broad pinkish prairies
Closed mouth brings dark night

--dayoung@flash.net

5136.
greasy palindromes
is SPAM good meat good SPAM is
dust to SPAM to dust

--jeff.cunningham@valley.net

5137.
SPAM, Spork, and Klik are
All I ever consume. See--
Worms will die with me.

--Anonymous

5138.
Here, WIRED, take this--have
a great big serving of SPAM
with all your cookies.

--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@mindspring.com

5139.
Have you seen my SPAM?
Answers to the name of Spot
And slides with a limp.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5140.
Lips, tits, and assholes
Compressed tightly in a can
Twist key, set it free

--Erik P. Kaeding, Attorney at Law

5141.
The watering hole.
Odd pink creature sips softly.
Spear in hand, I pounce.

--Drew Scott

5142.
From rooftops I cry:
"Come back, come back, strange meat thing."
Silence. I crumple.

--Drew Scott

5143.
I stare, it stares back.
I long to know its feelings.
It demurs. Lunch, then.

--Drew Scott

5144.
Set the can on fire.
It won't light. But when opened:
A hot, pink delight.

--Anonymous

5145.
31 flavors.
Please take a number and choose...
God! Orange SPAMbert!

--Anonymous

5146.
Must stop the craving--
12-step SPAM'holics anon.
One can at a time.

--Anonymous

5147.
"Honk if you love SPAM"
Bumper sticker on Yugo...
Moment of silence.

--Anonymous

5148.
It keeps going and
going. Drum-beating rabbit?
No, SPAMergizer!

--Lady Lackoflife

5149.
Wheezing sound. Blue tin
materializes. The
Doctor stares, aghast.

--Lady Lackoflife

5150.
They cried when I sat
Down to SPAM. Fat chords burst on
Ears like floating farts.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5151.
Beneath my pillow
Something gross, hard, and slimy--
The lurking SPAM can.

--Debra.Brunsberg@gatekeeper.co.hennepin.mn.us

5152.
Do you wonder if
removed malignant tumors
are shipped to Hormel?

--Anonymous

5153.
Can anyone doubt
that SPAM is natural food?
Better than oat bran!

--Anonymous

5154.
A short greasy trip
from the stable to table;
pulverized horses.

--Anonymous

5155.
Put SPAM in compost,
wait one year for end result;
same SPAM in next batch.

--Eric Johnson

5156.
Writing SPAM poems
Forgot to save, power fails
Many haiku lost

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5157.
Purchased SPAM garments
Wear my SPAM t-shirt with pride
Receive funny stares

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5158.
Mars rock crashed to Earth
Scientists gather data
SPAM trace detected

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5159.
Regard the SPAM can
The flawless exterior
And then, the contents

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5160.
I eat the SPAM meal
My stomach communicates
Ominous rumbles

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5161.
The can peels open
Idiosyncratic SPAM
It's bright magenta

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5162.
The SPAM can ruptures
Slushy pink spray issues forth
Open first, then cook!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5163.
"Attention shoppers
Tasty SPAM now on special"
Store is deserted

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5164.
Electoral vow
"SPAM for each man, woman, child"
Not one vote received

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5165.
SPAM orbits the Earth
Thrusters fail, it drops to Earth
Citizens panic

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5166.
Facing the SPAM can
My pusillanimity
Forces my retreat

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5167.
Countless eons pass
Spaceship lands on long dead Earth
"Hey look GrxNok, SPAM!"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5168.
A good thesaurus
Makes writing of SPAM haiku
Elementary

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5169.
In horror I watched
Brakes locked, the bus slewed sideways
Into the SPAM truck

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5170.
Eyes bright, happy kids
Rush to the tree Christmas morn,
Santa brought us SPAM!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5171.
I stepped from shadows
Into the microwave glow
And watched SPAM rotate

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5172.
Listen up people
Now I know what SPAM stands for:
Special Parts And More

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5173.
I don't believe it
Just ate family sized can
And still I'm breathing

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5174.
With a mighty slap
SPAM ricochets off my head
Where did that come from?!?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5175.
Walking down the street
I trod in a pile of SPAM
Pink mess stuck to shoe

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5176.
Bulletproof jacket
That's made entirely of SPAM
I'll use Kevlar, thanks

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5177.
A filling of SPAM
Between two layers of SPAM
A nice quick Spamwich

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5178.
"Take this SPAM" she said
'Twas a gift of love, no less
But like love, soon gone

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5179.
Time marches onwards
Continents spawned, nations born
SPAM remains constant

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5180.
Smelling the canned pork
I reminisced of the days
Of wonder and SPAM.

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5181.
The evils of SPAM
Manifested by delight
In opening cans

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5182.
The final frontier
Understanding the nature
Of the tinned meat, SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5183.
Saving for a year
Scrounging every bit I can
For SPAM jelly bath

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5184.
Imagine if you
Turned all the SPAM in the world
Into pigs again

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5185.
My thoughts flow freely
Images of SPAM drift past
My mind's inner eye

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5186.
"I think" the SPAM said
"You should reconsider this"
Ate it anyway

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5187.
"SPAM is really stuff"
Read that palindrome that read
"Stuff really is SPAM"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5188.
"SPAM" the Vikings sang
As they cruised Nordic waters
And pillaged for SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5189.
Then the magician
Stepped back to reveal...nothing!
What happened to SPAM?

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5190.
Floating in lifeboat
Saw the dorsal fins approach
SPAM drove away sharks

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5191.
Warm it for an hour
Place in mouth, chew for a while
Then swallow wanly

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5192.
"Let's play SPAM tennis!"
I attempt a swift backhand
And spray the whole court

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5193.
Sucked into black hole
To other universe, SPAM
Startles aliens

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5194.
Neighbors thump the walls
Unhearing, I keep dancing
A wild SPAM party

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5195.
SPAM target practice
In my sights, I fire, I miss!
"You see that? It MOVED!"

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5196.
My list--things to do
Fix car, re-stump house, clean room,
Last, not least, EAT SPAM.

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5197.
Change SPAM for cat food
I wait for strange reaction
My guests keep eating

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5198.
Bizarre Texan cult
Lurks in desert hideaway
Eating only SPAM

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5199.
Victim cries for help
Pink shadow descends from sky
Hey, look! It's SPAM Man!

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

5200.
SPAM in a thick sock
Swat your friends, they swing at you,
Many hours of fun

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au


Move forwards to Numbers 5201-5300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.