SPAM Haiku 6501-6600

Move backwards to Numbers 6401-6500.


6501.
shotgun formation
culinary football flies
gastric superbowl
--thom (Tom Williams)

6502.
Who eats this bullshit?
Some gross shit in a blue can.
Are you fuckin' nuts?

--Herman Melville

6503.
That strange sound: "Tw-wup"
A bizarre and viscous slime
...Could only be SPAM!

--Sherri, JAGSSS@aol.com

6504.
My children cry out,
"No SPAM! Please, anything else!"
"Shut up and eat it."

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6505.
For the love of God!
Please, I beg of you, no more!
Please, sir, no more SPAM!

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6506.
It's not on TV
I've seen no SPAM commercials
How do we all know?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6507.
SPAM! The name sounds just
Like one of the sound effects
From old Batman shows.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6508.
Coworkers snicker
Big grease spot on my lunch sack
Matching stain on pants

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6509.
Alone, I stroke SPAM
And remember how you felt
You slimy bastard.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6510.
It clings to the can
As I struggle to shuck it
A porky oyster

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6511.
The can's sharp edges
Lacerated my finger
Blood and grease mingled.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6512.
You won't ever see
Bulk emailers eating SPAM
They're not cannibals

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6513.
Waxed my car with SPAM
The finish gleams, water beads
Hungry dogs chase it

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6514.
"Please, Mom!" my kids beg,
"Let us get a Happy Meal
Instead of this SPAM."

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6515.
My two dogs like SPAM
So it must not be too bad.
Wait--they eat shit too.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6516.
For my redneck friends
I served cubes of SPAM and cheese
Trailer park hors d'oeuvres

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6517.
Writing SPAM haiku,
The adage "Write what you know"
Scares me very much.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6518.
I write SPAM haiku.
Some of them are pretty good.
What a useless gift.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6519.
Just what is in SPAM?
If I find a fingernail
I'm suing Hormel.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6520.
I laughed really hard
At some of the SPAM haiku
Almost wet myself

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6521.
The SPAMaroni
I served for dinner last night
Was not a big hit.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6522.
If I ate too much
Would I get SPAMarrhea
Or maybe just hurl?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6523.
If there was no SPAM
Would we write haiku about
Some other gross food?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6524.
What other weird stuff
Would we write haiku about
If there was no SPAM?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6525.
Without SPAM, what else
Could all these SPAMku artists
Waste so much time on?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6526.
If SPAM was alive
I wonder if it would write
Haiku about us?

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6527.
It really is meat
But I doubt it is the kind
That we should consume.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6528.
SPAM, versatile meat.
Not good for your colon, but
Makes a good lip gloss.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6529.
No piglets for you?
Just smear your porky member
With a SPAMicide.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6530.
When you need it bad,
Get that cholesterol rush.
SPAM's better than crack.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6531.
John Cho started it.
In 1997
Hundreds more spam on.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6532.
To make Mom happy
I tried to enjoy the SPAM
But I just couldn't.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6533.
My husband mocks me
He just does not understand
The allure of SPAM.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6534.
Pork resurrected
In Night of the Living SPAM.
Romero classic.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6535.
It is okay fried
But it is extremely gross
When you bake a SPAM.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6536.
SPAM cut thin and crisped.
Hot grease spatters my fingers.
Burnt swine or is it?

--Zeeko McFlinblathy, Vegemite@erols.com

6537.
The I.G.A. store
Food stamps buy SPAM and some beer
A big feast tonight!

--Sarah Miller Arnold, smarnold@ma.ultranet.com

6538.
Unbelievably
And more so, undoubtedly...
SPAM is upon us!

--Spam Gokou

6539.
The SPAM seemed dirty.
Scrubbed it in steaming water
'Til nothing remained.

--Anonymous

6540.
Mary Holt's SPAM muse
Never rests, always singing,
"Got SPAM on the brain!"

--Anonymous

6541.
Cath'lic nun Prejean
Religious advisor to
SPAM man walking.

--Anonymous

6542.
SPAM--what can you be?
Bacterial riot in
Porcine petri dish?

--Anonymous

6543.
Back SPAMmin' again!
Went cold turkey for a year.
Addicted for life!

--Anonymous

6544.
Liggett confesses,
"Nicotine is addictive."
It's your turn, Hormel!

--Anonymous

6545.
A woman weeping,
A man, drunk and despondent,
SPAM on sale, low price.

--Anonymous

6546.
Tinny chunk of meat
F-wopping outward, keflop
Freed gelatin drips

--Anonymous

6547.
You ain't nothin but
a SPAMdog cryin' all the
time. You ain't nothin...

--WRKSOFFART

6548.
Since my SPAM left me
I found a new place to dwell
End of lonely street...

--WRKSOFFART

6549.
Graceland holds the truth
Long kept hidden by Hormel
The SPAM killed the King

-- Son of FDH

6550.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Tell me, what's your addiction
"SPAMphomania"

--SON of MSB

6551.
Too much shaving cream
Love lies bleeding in my SPAM
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6552.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What is your best fantasy?
"Naked loaves of SPAM"

--Son of MSB

6553.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Need to clean up the carpet
SPAMphomaniac

--MSB

6554.
Porno on the net
SPAM laying warm in my hand
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6555.
Tools slathered in SPAM
Why do Mom's nylons have seams
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6556.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Dressed just like a cheerleader
Don't be your father

--MSB

6557.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Would God's asscrack smell like SPAM?
"My dog thinks it does!"

--son of MSB

6558.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What is it to spank cold SPAM?
"SPAMcrophilia"

--son of MSB

6559.
High or low in salt
Which one, Monkey Spanking Boy?
"Both are SPAMsession"

--son of MSB

6560.
Love SPAM and SPAM-LITE
Want both with equal passion
I'm Bi-SPAMual

--wife of MSB

6561.
cubism, dada,
abstract expressionism
one painting, all styles

--Anonymous

6562.
SPAM on Wonder Bread
A frightening thing to see
No-meat on Un-bread

--tsquared

6563.
SPAM and Velveeta,
A great view of the highway--
White trash paradise.

--tsquared

6564.
Monkey Spanking Boy
What's your favorite art form?
"SPAM-xotic Dancer"

--son of MSB

6565.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Having a SPAM birthday cake
This party is weird

--MSB

6566.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Right SPAM red, left SPAM yellow
Is that move legal?

--MSB

6567.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Where are you taking the SPAM?
THAT ISN'T THE TAIL!!

--MSB

6568.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Cotton candy wrapped 'round SPAM
The elephant lived

--MSB

6569.
Primal love for SPAM
That gorilla had some grip
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6570.
Monkey Spanking Boy
You shouldn't feed SPAM to seals
Kicked out of the zoo

--MSB

6571.
Pink and bloody flesh
SPAM tied to the whipping post
Sadistic intent

--WRKSOFFART

6572.
Will die without SPAM
Oh not I, I will survive
Swearing off the SPAM

--WRKSOFFART

6573.
SPAM-bottomed girls, you
Make the rockin' world go 'round
Even Freddie knew

--WRKSOFFART

6574.
A purple SPAM haze
But are you experienced
The SPAM cries Mary

--WRKSOFFART

6575.
Purple SPAM runnin'
Through my brian, what can I do
To release the pain

--WRKSOFFART

6576.
"Eat so you will grow!"
Myst'ry meal canned long ago...
Child cries..., Mommy no!

--john_pearson@sil.org

6577.
Never known it yet?
Mind cannot let you forget
Once you taste... I'll bet.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6578.
Wise remember first
greasy mouth roof, salty burst,
water craving thirst.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6579.
Joy is wrapped within
held in place by metal strapped
wall that is so thin.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6580.
Slip'ry loaf set free
when curled strap surrounds my key
bliss descends on me.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6581.
Lover lost in sin
when my tongue slow traces rim
fat on top of tin.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6582.
Knife slice, eyes can see
slabs of flesh lay morbidly
heart beats rapidly.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6583.
Logic takes her flight,
hunger rules like darkness night,
mindlessly I bite...

--john_pearson@sil.org

6584.
Morning will not miss
day's design and purpose, if,
lips chopped pig can kiss.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6585.
When it's fried with egg,
piece of pork it seems like but?...
Is it chop or leg?...

--john_pearson@sil.org

6586.
Hunks of meat combine
with ear, hoof, and tail entwine
ground in product fine.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6587.
Protein is the hype
chewed already seems to be--
"shoescrape" more its type.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6588.
Brick of pure ground swine,
stop veins!, clog heart!, slow mind! It
orders those who dine.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6589.
Eater of chopped hog,
arteries with fat will clog!
Throw it to your dog!

--john_pearson@sil.org

6590.
The hour now is gone.
Spamku thoughts on I have drawn...
wasted thoughts upon...

--john_pearson@sil.org

6591.
Thoughts on Spamku lent,
"loaf" defines my soul's intent.
Time was not well spent!

--john_pearson@sil.org

6592.
Spamku thoughts are five,
coming next in seven, then
five, once more again.

--john_pearson@sil.org

6593.
Tell me what is SPAM.
Squished Piles Alternative Meat.
Give it a try, NOT!

--Anonymous

6594.
Why can't my job be
Writing Spamku all day long?
I would be so poor!

--Anonymous

6595.
I wonder if SPAM
On an empty stomach will
Have gaseous effects

--Anonymous

6596.
I can't believe it
Spamku is more addicting
Than Mountain Dew is

--Anonymous

6597.
Did I just submit
Three Spamku? My job is so
Boring. I can't stop.

--Anonymous

6598.
Why does this make sense?
SPAM should include packs of gum.
Would it even work?

--Anonymous

6599.
When the big one drops,
all that will remain on earth
is SPAM and roaches.

--Anonymous

6600.
How many countless
Hours of work must have been spent
Writing SPAM haiku

--Anonymous


Move forwards to Numbers 6601-6700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.