SPAM Haiku 7801-7900

Move backwards to Numbers 7701-7800.

7801.
Blackened residue
A forgotten frying pan
Subatomic bond

--james, simply james

7802.
Blackened residue
A forgotten frying pan
Shining black onyx

--james, simply james

7803.
Blackened residue
A forgotten frying pan
Seductive black hole

--james, simply james

7804.
Blackened residue
A forgotten frying pan
Grease tears put to rest

--james, simply james

7805.
jelly covered pink
alights lime green serving dish
swine aroma sings

--Nick alvarado, nalvarado@sicolamartin.com

7806.
The source of all SPAM:
SPAMcan Suzy, SPAMcan Sam
Do the jitterbug

--djp, djperry@diac.com

7807.
SPAM is bad and when
you eat it it tastes real bad
so please don't sell it.

--Fernando Lucero, felucero@nmsu.edu

7808.
At night I eat SPAM
I really like it yeah boy
But then I feel bad

--Javier Martinez, javimart@nmsu.edu

7809.
Wonder what happened
to Jimmy Hoffa's body?
It's on a cracker.

--Brad Taylor, nemo@x-press.net

7810.
Has a putrid smell,
And a wiggly, jiggly gel.
Tastes like it's from hell.

--Maurene, maurenem@hotmail.com

7811.
Paperback romance
Who writes for "Hormelequin"?
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7812.
He heard the SPAM scream
"Beat me, Monkey Spanking Boy.
Make me write bad checks!!"

--MSB

7813.
His word processor
Smeared with SPAM and vaseline
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7814.
His SPAM with the Wind
A New York Times best seller
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7815.
SPAM good for your heart
The more you eat more you fart
God bless your toilet

--Anonymous

7816.
Room temperature SPAM
roll it in talcum powder
slice it with a glance

--Mike Chupa, chupa@acm.org

7817.
Come on, SHAM! Update
The archive or I may take
My custom elsewhere!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7818.
Acronym Corner:
SPAM is Cuboid Roseate
Aggregated Pork.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7819.
Life is like a SPAM
Sandwich: the more bread you have,
The less shit you eat.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7820.
I know what you are
Thinking: did he write six or
Only five today...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7821.
...To tell you the truth,
In all this excitement, I've
Kinda lost my count.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7822.
Acronym Corner:
A can of SPAM is Surely
Hormel's Ideal Treat.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7823.
Tough blue steel outside,
Squidgy pink mush inside. SPAM
can? No, Robocop.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7824.
Life is like a can
Of SPAM: you always know what
You're gonna get: CRAP!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7825.
Pink, edible door-
knob on witch's meat cottage
in: "Hams and Gretel."

--Dorothy Nelson, dnelson@rahul.net

7826.
Welcome to the SPAM!
Your fantasies come true here
Spamgasmatronic!

--Pete Tran, AM67@osfn.rhilinet.gov

7827.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.
Hail the almighty SPAM God!
Thou art my master!

--Pete Tran, AM67@osfn.rhilinet.gov

7828.
Ingredients: Pork
with Ham, Salt, Water, Sugar,
Sodium Nitrite.

--Pete Tran, AM67@osfn.rhilinet.gov

7829.
Glittery blue can
Fatty tissue oozing down
Half eaten pink cube

--Wild T.

7830.
Phantasmal SPAM chunks...
Always lurking in my dreams...
Torment me no more!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7831.
Foul stench hits my nose
Either I can smell the SPAM
Or you need to douche

--Wild T.

7832.
Science finals time!
Studying reproduction
of SPAM. My guess? Spores.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7833.
Kissing my girlfriend,
I notice SPAM on her breath.
What a repellant!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7834.
Cry for the children
Who choose to eat SPAM daily
They must be insane

--Wild T.

7835.
New wing in re-hab
For permanent brain damage
Addicted to SPAM

--Wild T.

7836.
My dad went insane
After chewing on some SPAM.
What low tolerance...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7837.
Rub SPAM on a cut
A new antibiotic
That stops infection

--Wild T.

7838.
The Marquis de Sade
A glutton for punishment
SPAMomasochist

--Wild T.

7839.
Cool Hand Luke won his
bet by eating fifty eggs
and one can of SPAM

--WRKSOFFART

7840.
I do yearn for SPAM
Call it by its other name
Killing me softly

--Jojo de la Vega, Jovega@aol.com

7841.
pink SPAM fills round gut
I would study this navel
If I could see it

--kevin, the mathineer

7842.
Vegetarian
Looks at mum's lentil burgers
Then remembers SPAM.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7843.
Moral dilemma
Bland papery cellulose
Or insult to meat.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7844.
The pig sacrifice:
Another SPAM martyr joins
its friends in blue cans.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7845.
After eating SPAM
he leaves the tent saying "I
may be gone some time."

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7846.
Doctor Frankenstein:
His creation incomplete
must resort to SPAM.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7847.
Dieters, try this:
Eat all the SPAM you can eat,
See the weight come off.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7848.
Lying on the couch
Recalling those days of SPAM
Tormented childhood

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7849.
Every pig knows that
peace and reunion are
inevitable.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7850.
My discovery:
One small lump of SPAM gives one
Great leap of SPAMkind.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7851.
Although it's strange and
unnatural, my stomach
assumes the square form.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7852.
Pork! Get out your meat...
I fetched the SPAM and we ate
in pure ecstasy.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7853.
Harsh, fresh sunlight glints;
rays pierce the aura so pink;
sunrise on SPAMhenge.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

7854.
Oh Yangtse River
Beautiful river full of
SPAM SPAM eggs and SPAM

--British Soccer Coach

7855.
SPAM, I love your feel,
As you slide down my boxers;
I am now a man.

--Anonymous

7856.
Horny about SPAM
Erection comes so quickly
Add own hot white sauce.

--Anonymous

7857.
Placed SPAM in oven
Temperature set to Broil
Still cooking, still pink

--Kevin Kocher, kocke01@cai.com

7858.
Rockefeller Rink
A pink mass zips by my feet
It is SPAM on ice

--Kevin Kocher, kocke01@cai.com

7859.
See, Michael Crawford
SPAMtom of the Opera
His mask, a pink cube

--Kevin Kocher, kocke01@cai.com

7860.
Join the dark side, SPAM
I am not your father, Luke
You are just a can

--USH, wilcox1@compuserve.com

7861.
Question posed: since when
did SPAM become another
word for cat vomit?

--Michael Halverson

7862.
SPAM did for luncheon
meat what Michael Bolton did
for music. Too bad.

--Michael Halverson

7863.
E-mail me if you
like my SPAMku. It would be
very nice of you.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7864.
An inspiring muse...
The commoners call you SPAM.
I call you a god.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7865.
The poor slaughtered pigs...
They died for technology.
What did we get? SPAM...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7866.
Use extreme caution.
Enclosed meat may be toxic.
--The U.S. Health Board.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7867.
Tried to slice some SPAM.
Shimmering mass ate the knife.
So I left it be.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7868.
SPAM can works wonders.
I've seen its healing powers.
New doctor's study.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7869.
Our safest meat food
SPAM does not have E. Coli
Too low on food chain

--Cholesterol 300

7870.
Harsh angina pains
High cholesterol level
I still eat SPAM, though

--Cholesterol 300

7871.
Recycle that grease!
Put it on top of SPAM can
Consumers won't guess

--Cholesterol 300

7872.
Bio-science bad
News: Squirrels have mad cow bug
Should we still eat SPAM?

--Cholesterol 300

7873.
Incendiary
Put a can of SPAM on grill
Porcine explosion

--Cholesterol 300

7874.
Judge hands down sentence
Marv's rehabilitation
Bite SPAM, not women

--Cholesterol 300

7875.
There she waits for me
Hot, moist, and salty pink flesh
OH NO! There's no rice...!

--Jerome, j.d.espiritu@worldnet.att.net

7876.
Sautéed on low heat
SPAM, tomato, and onions
Hawaiian stir-fry

--Jerome, j.d.espiritu@worldnet.att.net

7877.
Two for three dollars!
(Limit four per customer)
Yes...those were the days!

--Jerome, j.d.espiritu@worldnet.att.net

7878.
We talked about it
I took Murphy's SPAM away
We talked about it

--Lara and Chris, chrisw@boone.net

7879.
CAESAR, NOTICING
THAT HIS FRIEND ALSO LIKES SPAM
SAYS, "ET TU BRUTE?"

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7880.
"DROP YOUR WEAPON NOW,"
SCREAMS THE COP, TERRIFIED OF
THE SPAM-WIELDING CROOK.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7881.
CANNIBALS SAY THAT
HUMAN FLESH TASTES MOST LIKE PORK.
IS PINK SPAM CANNED MAN?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7882.
LITTLE CUBES OF SPAM
WITH PEPPERCORNS ON EACH FACE
CAN MAKE IDEAL DICE.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7883.
I RECALL AT SCHOOL
BEING FORCED TO EAT FRIED SPAM.
WAS THAT CHILD ABUSE?

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7884.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT
SPAM THAT SPARKS SUCH HATE? FACE IT,
IT IS ONLY MEAT.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7885.
TO FILM AUTHENTIC
1930S LOVE SCENES, FIRST
WIPE THE LENS WITH SPAM.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7886.
Alas, not quite meat...
A restless tin-opener.
Oh, desperate times.

--ian warner, robotnik@berlin.snafu.de

7887.
I hate spam! Do you??
If you don't, I will kill you!
I really hate spam!

--ihatespam!, packfan409@hotmail.com

7888.
Like a newborn child
Jiggling and wiggling for me.
Pink, with funny smell.

--Tom Edney

7889.
WHEN NAPOLEON
SAID "NOT TONIGHT JOSEPHINE"
HE MEANT "NO MORE SPAM!"

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7890.
IF SPAM IS AN ART
FORM, HOW WOULD WE LABEL IT?
I SUSPECT "CUBIST."

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7891.
THIS IS CLEARLY DUMB.
LAST NIGHT I SLEPT NOT A WINK,
THINKING OF SPAMKU.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7892.
YOU ARE A SHAM, SHAM
BY CREATING OBSESSIONS
WITH THIS SPAMKU SITE.

--Richard Topping, richard@moduscom.demon.co.uk

7893.
SPAM can be nasty
A big glob jumped on my face
Sucked my eyes right out!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7894.
SPAM is seductive...
Do not fall to its evil...
'Twill possess your mind...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7895.
SPAM, symbol of love.
Little-known god SPAMicus
used it to get chicks.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7896.
Eyeballs in my SPAM!
Yuck, what a disgusting thing...
I thought they were spores!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7897.
Omnipotent SPAM...
Show me a sign, O Great One...
I invoketh thee!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7898.
Attention drivers:
SPAM on Parkway East. Caution.
Makes roads slippery.

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7899.
Vikings loved their SPAM,
except when they got it caught
in their bushy beards...

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net

7900.
Yum, fermented SPAM!
Liquidized, makes a strong ale.
SPAM beer all around!

--MrCohaagen, cohaagen@usaor.net