SPAM Haiku 8401-8500

Move backwards to Numbers 8301-8400.


8401.
"Be all you can be"
(Patriotic butchery...)
Uncle Spam wants you!
--Disillusioned Army Recruiter

8402.
Not enough (spam spam)
Syllables to finish (spam)
Each line (spam spam spam)...

--Struggling Poet

8403.
brief preparation
an ill-advised consumption
regurgitation

--Matthew Daughtrey, mattd@congruent.com

8404.
Ever beginning
Consumption, peristalsis
The circle of SPAM

--Matthew Daughtrey, mattd@congruent.com

8405.
dimensional food
little clouds of dancing fat
do-see-do with eggs

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8406.
thanksgiving spamkey
candied spam and spam stuffing
no one showed up. why?

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8407.
wedding day breakfast
spam and blossoms for the bride
ah, traditions. PUKE!

--IggySuePea, IggySuePea@aol.com

8408.
gelatinous thing
sliding on its own accord
run away quickly

--Daemon Cat, armygirl@hotmail.com

8409.
Mashed up bits of pig
Shoved into a little can
Yes, you know it's SPAM!!!

--Chico Fernandez

8410.
spam tastes like dead skunks
who would eat this nasty stuff?
girls who like to puke

--Phil Winklesteen

8411.
Is it real meat, then?
Alas, I think not, mere stuff
Slides down throat like oil.

--Anonymous

8412.
Twist pin stomach grab
Scent flies like angry spirit
Weak in knees, must eat

--Anonymous

8413.
Though weak with hunger
Feel the need to twist that pin
Now twisted, regret

--Anonymous

8414.
Glisten, foolish glop
Tease me with your acrid scents
Taunt me, I will eat

--Paul Tansey, paul.tansey@bchydro.bc.ca

8415.
All workers of the
Toxic waste disposal plant
Are afraid of SPAM

--Wild T.

8416.
Bad news for Coast Guard
Colombian SPAM cartel
Means increased smuggling

--Wild T.

8417.
Black leather, blue cans
Beaten with her Cube of Meat
SPAM Dominatrix

--Wild T.

8418.
I hear crickets chirp
I hear the whippoorwill sing
I hear the SPAM cry

--Wild T.

8419.
Lost in sin city
Where all men feast upon SPAM
The Hormel orgy

--Wild T.

8420.
Things I cannot change
Pound my SPAM on a brick wall
Impotent victim

--Wild T.

8421.
Places in the world
Where you need to hoard your SPAM
It builds a nice house

--Wild T.

8422.
quivering pinkness--
childhood friend, and yet you are
indigestible

--A. Commons

8423.
SPAM infinity
I'm up to my ass in SPAM
Will it ever end?

--Jan van der Banck

8424.
SPAM on a long stick,
used as bait for piranhas.
Why won't they eat it?

--Andrew "IMP" Weinman, AAWEINMA@COE.EDU

8425.
Pink porcine pot pie
Jellied globules of pig flesh
Tin key canned heaven

--Pat Kilby, ess1960@chollian.net

8426.
How I love thee SPAM
You don't seem to give a damn
If you're slop or ham

--Pat Kilby, ess1960@chollian.net

8427.
Formula simple:
Take one cup pig SPerm, one hAM,
Glutinize, enjoy.

--Anonymous

8428.
Formula simple:
Can the jellied innards of
TV-softened skulls.

--Pat Kilby

8429.
Man the guns, Porkboy!
Shoot, shoot, spew your fusillade.
Spaminator death.

--Pat Kilby

8430.
SPAM flows through my veins
But my heart belongs to Treet
Mystery meat war

--deathmeat

8431.
tubular cousin
vienna sausage informs
spam of meat's round plan

--Thom Glidden

8432.
pornoroid image
spam protruding from anus
hemorrhoid sculpture

--Thom Glidden

8433.
nature's perfect food
lost in snowy mountains or
in sock a weapon

--Thom Glidden

8434.
"I lost my best friend"
Warm tears, falling for her dog
"Stole SPAM from my plate"

--Gabriel, kilgarin@intrepid.net

8435.
Wonder, wonder do
To understand the sound of
One SPAM a-clapping

--Narberth Mike

8436.
I I I I I
Love love love love love love love
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Mustapha Upafuzz

8437.
Forbear mystery
Published read forgotten words
Canned poetry meat

--Haezl, mariwri@cyberramp.net

8438.
SPAM is so salty.
Down in the trash can it goes.
Praise God almighty!

--Alison Wheat, alisonwheat@juno.com

8439.
Gracing the can in
Scarlet, crowned with peppercorns
(Serving suggestion)

--k.j.bourque, bourque@elo.helsinki.fi

8440.
spam is funny yes
spam giggle giggle snort snort
spam is funny yes

--Anonymous

8441.
Radioactive
SPAM has a half-life: SPAMku
Writers have no life...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8442.
Ever elusive,
Mad chef's private coup d'etat.
Pink absent entrée.

--Adam Caton

8443.
i don't want more SPAM.
bad? the stuff is horrible.
what does Hormel think?

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8444.
no one wants my SPAM
my family thinks i'm weird
it stinks in the frig

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8445.
debauch or divine?
gross or erotic? oh, SPAM,
smear some more on me.

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8446.
hands behind my back
lapping SPAM from the blue tin
my tongue in the pink

--mgeraty@atgsystms.com

8447.
Pam! How she loves SPAM!!
For breakfast, lunch and dinner
Her plate's full of SPAM

--Lauren Shaeffer-Foley, Skipp97@aol.com

8448.
Gelatinous hunk
of pink, inspires me to retch
I cannot swallow

--Anonymous

8449.
Dark Side of the FORCE
Intestinal Darth Vader
Make me poop Death Stars

--ZeLawn Dart, eric_the_halibut@hotmail.com

8450.
The neighbors I hate
Invite for a barbeque
SPAMBURGER for you??

--ZeLawn Dart, eric_the_halibut@hotmail.com

8451.
Marshmallow-like meat
Mom makes SPAM Rice Krispy squares
Death of a bake sale

--ZeLawn Dart, eric_the_halibut@hotmail.com

8452.
here, eat some spam, man
I can't swallow the spam, man
push it down hard, man

--the bugle-boys, marls_bar@hotmail.com

8453.
Eating SPAM won't make
You violent: I'll punch the
Man who says it does!

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8454.
Ph. D. students
Search this archive for theses
On debauchery.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

8455.
The howl of the wolf
Screaming eagle from above
Must have eaten SPAM

--Wild T.

8456.
Steaming hot coffee
A bowl of raw SPAM in milk
The perfect breakfast

--Wild T.

8457.
Do you want my SPAM?
Cover me in your pink meat
Lick my member clean

--Wild T.

8458.
Kryptonite and SPAM
The only two substances
That scare Superman

--Wild T.

8459.
Splatter on the wall
Random act of violence
A drive by SPAMming

--Wild T.

8460.
An act of extreme
Intestinal fortitude
Eat SPAM, no mustard

--Wild T.

8461.
I can't sleep, can't eat
My nipples are hard for you
My love is my SPAM

--Wild T.

8462.
Those who think that the
Spice Girls are great singers, think
SPAM is "Haute Cuisine"

--Wild T.

8463.
SPAMkuers beware!
All that glistens, is not SPAM.
Do not eat at Joes.

--Rodney Pinebrook

8464.
I am an artist.
A SPAMless vegan painter--
I drew a short straw.

--Vincent Van Gawk, Lend me your ear.

8465.
Found Elvis Presley
Hiding in a vast tin of
SPAM inside your heart.

--terry cuthbert, tesco.net.uk

8466.
Love indeed abounds.
In wretchedness I grovel.
SPAM: disease and cure.

--Carl

8467.
The SPAM Plate Special
arrives with trumpet fanfare.
My attorney smiles.

--Carl

8468.
Found lost Escher prints
Endless trail of SPAM feeding
On its very self

--Wild T.

8469.
Doctor Frankenstein
From his lab, he screams "ALIVE!!
My SPAM is alive!"

--Wild T.

8470.
My Hormel nightmare:
Millions of Dinty Moore and
SPAM cans. Not one key.

--Wild T.

8471.
White billowing cloud
Butterfly in frozen death
Caves of SPAM mountain

--Wild T.

8472.
Sunk in depression
Contest winner gets lifetime
Of SPAM--and I won

--Wild T.

8473.
Why are workers at
SPAM processing plant missing
Fingers and toes? ----- EEEWW!

--Wild T.

8474.
I weep for my SPAM
So pink and so innocent
Why do they hate you?

--Wild T.

8475.
A new party joke
Fill whoopie cushion with SPAM
Friends will really shit

--Wild T.

8476.
Made a new dessert
SPAM, hot fudge, whipped cream, and nuts
No one will eat it

--Wild T.

8477.
To escape Pharaoh
Moses throws SPAM on Red Sea
And the waters part

--Wild T.

8478.
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts
Dark Side Of The SPAM

--WRKSOFFART

8479.
Got one SPAM in my
Pocket, and the other one
Making a peace sign

--WRKSOFFART

8480.
The great white hunter
Fresh kill for his family
SPAM filled with buckshot

--Wild T.

8481.
And on the eighth day
The Lord said "Let there be SPAM"
It was not so good

--Wild T.

8482.
No matter the cost
No matter how great the pain
The SPAM will digest

--Wild T.

8483.
The wind has that smell
Like a pig's ass, only worse
Having SPAM for lunch

--Wild T.

8484.
Virgin sacrifice
On the altar, legs spread wide
"Eat it! Eat the SPAM!"

--Wild T.

8485.
A bite of cubed meat
I dance with demons from Hell
Oh satanic SPAM

--Wild T.

8486.
In a deep SPAM sleep
I wake to great flatulence
And diarrhea

--Wild T.

8487.
Pass the spatula
I really must flip the SPAM
It's starting to burn

--Wild T.

8488.
Sir, drop the SPAM now!
Keep your hands in the air and
Slowly back away

--Wild T.

8489.
Whole case of SPAM gone
Such a blast of noxious gas
Do NOT light a match

--Wild T.

8490.
Point of etiquette
Perplexing the greatest chefs
What wine goes with SPAM?

--Wild T.

8491.
Unscrupulous rogue
Swapped produce for SPAM. Yes, we
Have no bananas.

--L. Sheahen

8492.
Expensive bath oils?
Why waste funds? Relax whilst you
Swab yourself with SPAM.

--L. Sheahen

8493.
Substituting SPAM
In aromatherapy:
Not efficacious.

--L. Sheahen

8494.
Pink and shiny "meat"
See it wiggle, see it pulse
Defending itself

--Kepie Hamsterlicker

8495.
alone, yellow light
kitchen empty, fork in hand
i can hear the mice

--Jordan Samuels, jsamuels@neog.com

8496.
Bizarre pseudo-pork
Pink processed brick of delight
I ready my fork

--Rob "Bacon Is Better" Isaacson

8497.
Spamwich, SPAM meatballs
SPAM steak, SPAM party platters
The endless choices!

--Leah Bee, lbinabnit@umich.edu

8498.
Time flows swift and fast
The long centuries unfold
And SPAM shall live on

--Leah Bee, Linabnit@umich.edu

8499.
Mom makes pizza bread
Tries out that can way in back....
New recipe born

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com

8500.
Spamku, my Spamku
Off you go...join the others.
I will visit soon

--IronSpam, leebro69@hotmail.com


Move forwards to Numbers 8501-8600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.