SPAM Haiku 9401-9500

Move backwards to Numbers 9301-9400.


9401.
Quivering pink gel
Silent, deadly, strikes at night
SPAMjelly revenge!
--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9402.
Howling souls cry out
Dogs, cats, rodents, mobsters... SPAM
The rumors were true

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9403.
SPAM spread on my face
Enhances my summer tan
Ready for the beach!

--Bruce

9404.
good god what is it
it frankly could be people
pink & horrid stuff

--blackfall, blackfall@webtv.net

9405.
Oh my, what a treat
A place for an ode to meat
Slice thin and then heat

--bama, rolltideal@juno.com

9406.
Who mocks SPAM haiku?
Those with even more spare time
Than haiku writers

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9407.
Pink Tarty Morsel
Speckled with salt and more meat
A block of dog shit

--SQ

9408.
Mumbles Menino
Mayor of city of SPAM
Menino Mumbles

--A Spam Fan, Spamfan@prod.butt

9409.
Impotence struck Strauss.
He ate more SPAM then came up
With The Blue Can Lube.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9410.
A busy scene at
SPAMarama. Where's Waldo?
In the john, retching.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9411.
I thought she had called
SPAM "unsinkable" but she
Didn't have a lisp.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

9412.
SPAM IS GOOD FOR YOU
SPAM IS A FORM OF SOME HELP
SPAM IS GOOD FOR YOU

--Nick, RUjmyray@aol.com

9413.
SPAM is so yummy
SPAM is very beautiful
I REALLY HATE SPAM!

--kt, arizala@ruonline.net

9414.
Hormel SPAMmed eye am
Triple X rated daily
All X-eye-id NOT!

--Anonymous

9415.
A L T Protein
T-less boned beauty you are
Filet-Mignon-'Spam

--S Þ À |\\/| |\\/| ¥

9416.
SPAM is to Dingos,
What sex is to Cal. gringos.
It comes in a can.

--Spamculatorious

9417.
SPAM yearns for Love's kiss,
though spurned, rebuffed, and forlorn.
SPAM, unrequited!

--James Stover, stover13@juno.com

9418.
SPAM, sheathed in cold steel,
impervious to decay.
SPAM, invincible!

--James Stover, stover13@juno.com

9419.
SPAM drips off my roof,
It tickles my pink ham-bone;
O, to dream in SPAM.

--Jules and pink art girl

9420.
Voiceless victim of
Speciesism becomes pink goo
In a small tin can.

--Michael Voytinsky, michaelv@igs.net

9421.
I had found some SPAM
My grandma ate it all up
Now she is no more

--Emily and Sarah, JolyChoper@AOL.com

9422.
Salt Pork And Muscle.
Like boils, I've never had ya.
SPAM virgin I am

--Ratchafratch Skidoo

9423.
Yesterday it worked
Today it simply will not
Windows is like that

--Anonymous

9424.
Yesterday it worked
Today it simply will not
SPAM can be like that

--Anonymous

9425.
hating spam is fun
nobody knows what it is,
cow, pig, dog, or horse?

--Haters of spam

9426.
SPAM is a delight
While eating, throw up west side
Have a nice death, dog

--Da Man Right Here

9427.
I gaze at you by
the spamlight; we toss pink flanks
into blue-green fire.

--Jules and pink art girl

9428.
Schoolchild feels depressed.
"Honey? Dinnertime. SPAM stew."
Shotgun suicide.

--Little Shovel

9429.
I ate SPAM for lunch
I sit in tub with water
Bath water is pink

--odelphi@interserv.com

9430.
I touch SPAM with hands
Visions of death invade head
Now hands are washed raw

--odelphi@interserv.com

9431.
Gelatinous mass
So viscous and hideous
Insidious pink

--charli, charli137@aol.com

9432.
Fire, hail, locusts, dark
But most cruel and vile of plagues
Blue can of pork slime

--JFE, jfe@crash.uoregon.edu

9433.
disgusting pink glob
waiting for its next victim
while in the blue can

--haters of spam

9434.
SPAM rice and beans Pow!
So sorry about that mom's
The Menendez boys

--Anonymouse

9435.
Disgusting I am
Toxic waste is mere ice cream
Compared to me...SPAM

--Con Kissed De Door

9436.
Pustules of diseased
Mad Pig body parts pre-chewed
By toothless winos

--The Slingo Nut

9437.
SPAM in a blue can
More toxic than my wiener
Lewinsky lunch meat

--W.J.C., Monie@yup.net

9438.
spam, glorious gel
twinkling in the bright sunlight
reflects and blinds me

--B_Natch, B_Line12@hotmail.com

9439.
Gyrating pinkness
Undulating tenderloin
Honorable SPAM

--xantho@aol.com

9440.
Dead animal parts
Suspended in gelatin
Pink, moist, repulsive

--Spam Franklin

9441.
Chinese torture tool
Slowly drip SPAM on forehead
Die miserably

--odelphi@interserv.com

9442.
Eat SPAM for birthday
It's my body and I will
Die if I want to

--odelphi@interserv.com

9443.
Products from the past
More kitschy now than kitchen
Is nothing sacred?

--J. Miller

9444.
eating spam is like...
the worst nightmare in a can
how horrifying

--haters of spam

9445.
Great Society?
LBJ don't eat no SPAM!
Sent to Vietnam.

--middle-aged crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9446.
Twenty years in cave.
Wake up, SPAM Zarathustra!
Mustard sun rises.

--middle-aged crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9447.
If I ate some SPAM
and you ate SPAM, we would be
dead in five minutes.

--middle-aged crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9448.
Monty Python skit
Scary-looking myst'ry meat
Unwanted email

--J. Miller

9449.
Rows of square blue cans
Everything seems processed now
Bright fluorescent light

--J. Miller

9450.
Jesus! I love SPAM
It warms my buttocks, oooh ahhhh!
Otherwise, they're cold

--King Daniel

9451.
Pink meat, blue steel can,
virgin, waiting for the key.
Hot jelly quivers.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9452.
Captain Kirk eats SPAM
Spock says it's illogical
Spam me up Scotty

--spamnugget, akcnoble@worldnet.att.net

9453.
Hens participate,
Pigs commit, SPAM and egg meals.
Metaphors for life.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9454.
What SPAM hath God wrought?
That which is canned and is pink
And it is not Floyd

--Gil Glass, gdglass@erols.com

9455.
a lot of pressure
holds my tender sweetness in
open the can now

--Damian Didden

9456.
cold unyielding steel
warm gelatinous quiver
yin and yang of lunch

--Damian Didden

9457.
pinkish meaty brick
paper towel for the slime
spamlicious as is

--Damian Didden

9458.
Wonder Bread, Yoo-Hoo,
Baked beans, corn-on-the-cob, SPAM
All-American

--Damian Didden

9459.
I sat on some SPAM
at the nudist colony.
Mustard on my butt.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9460.
Two hogs makin' love
with much effort are aroused.
"Spam me daddy-o."

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9461.
If a can of SPAM
was opened with no one there,
would it still smell bad?

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9462.
Generation X.
Stoned, they pray for hog parts at
Church of Holy SPAM.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9463.
Stuck in traffic jam
met the man who makes the SPAM
missing a few parts.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9464.
Spam the President
Monica Lewinsky did
Vince Foster his SPAM

--Hilarity

9465.
Clinton sends us SPAM
Americans are extinct
Clinton feels no pain

--Anonymous

9466.
Moist pink slice of meat
Hides in its blue metal home
SPAM, come out to play

--DAVE SLADE

9467.
I lick the SPAM slice
It doesn't taste very nice
SPAM lacks some real spice

--Dave Slade

9468.
It's in my belly
Heavy pink meat and jelly
SPAM farts are smelly

--Dave Slade

9469.
We then realized that
We were powerless over
Our SPAM addiction

--Alex, agent_lx@yahoo.com

9470.
Came to believe that
A power greater than SPAM
Couldn't restore us

--Mindless, farfromuzin@yahoo.com

9471.
I feel a need for
Some jelly from the bottom
The BLUE can provides

--Alex, agent_lx@hotmail.com

9472.
SPAM... Parts of the pig
That even the Indians
Would throw the hell out

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9473.
Even Eskimos
Won't eat these parts of the pig.
Leave it to Hormel!

--Jason the Condor, sharishin@hotmail.com

9474.
Silly SPAM putty
Diaper lumps post-digested
Memorabilia

--Spammy From Alabammy, Fartz@everywhere.net

9475.
Toilet tissue SPAM
Cannot do the job at all
New SPAM in the can

--Hedda Hopper, PorcelinGod@the time.com

9476.
put spam in beaker
add hydrochloric acid
watch spam disappear

--despiser of spam

9477.
Happy Day Mothers
Spammin' yo momma today
Blue cannin' you all

--Goosebumps, Info@funkybutt.com

9478.
I have a friend who
keeps a can of SPAM on hand
just for Judgment Day.

--Anonymous

9479.
Will the SPAM itself
ever eat through its tin case?
--Time passes slowly.

--Anonymous

9480.
At the ancient pond:
Suddenly, a can of SPAM--
Deep, resonant sound.

--Anonymous

9481.
What is Monkey SPAM
Two intangibles meeting
Mind is still foggy

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9482.
Can of SPAM in hand
What is this "Buddha Nature"
Can holds no answers

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9483.
In our English class
We hid SPAM from our teacher
It was a fun game

--Anonymous

9484.
SPAM is SPAM is SPAM
Is SPAM just a can of "meat"
Is SPAM was SPAM is

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9485.
SPAM snorting cowboy
Nostrilized the gel daily
Until his horse died

--Gee Naughtry, Oldgene@corral.net

9486.
Montezuma squirts
Butcher, butcher spare that SPAM
Butt-plug needed now

--Anonymous

9487.
Is your can true blue?
Is your booty pink inside?
Bears spam in the woods?

--Yoginomics, Yogi@jellystone.not

9488.
Came in a blue can
A gay Martian once recalled
It was my true love

--Juicy Brucie, JuicyB@prodigy.net

9489.
If you eat SPAM once
You'll have to taste it again
Burping belching SPAM

--Spam I am, I am Spam

9490.
In cold Canada
SPAM-alike is sold. Called KAM.
Confusing name game.

--Anonymous

9491.
Mind in the gutter,
I think of SPAM and say "Shit!"
But just tastes like it.

--Anonymous

9492.
Cartoon tragedy:
Porky goes missing Monday.
Tuesday, SPAM shipment.

--Anonymous

9493.
Buckingham Palace:
Guards on strike, won't protect it.
Beefeaters want SPAM.

--Anonymous

9494.
Band called Save Ferris
Sings sprightly anthem. A theme
for this site, maybe?

--Anonymous

9495.
Topicality?
Ha! I make no headline joke,
for SPAM is timeless.

--Anonymous

9496.
Hormel's holy food
Promotes religious values.
(Well, not for the Jews.)

--Anonymous

9497.
Shrunken scientist
Microscopic inside meat:
SPAMtastic Voyage

--Anonymous

9498.
Play the meat backwards
and you hear hidden message:
Buy Rand-McNally.

--Anonymous

9499.
Australian slang term
for Americans? With SPAM,
"Septic" seems to fit.

--Anonymous

9500.
Clinton to Castro:
"Embargo ends, we send SPAM."
Cuba falls next day.

--Anonymous


Move forwards to Numbers 9501-9600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.