SPAM Haiku 9601-9700

Move backwards to Numbers 9501-9600.


9601.
Three servings per can
Feed it to your family
Punishment for all
--Sierra Solano

9602.
Let's use all the pig
Can't have anything wasted
Who dares to taste it?

--Eddie Jones

9603.
Eat SPAM and ask why
Why do I not eat the SPAM
And now you know why

--Eddie Rodriguez

9604.
You open the can
the room starts to smell so bad
so, leave the room soon.

--Jeff Lebsock

9605.
Our server attacked
Spam eating up our bandwidth
So we eat it back

--Shawn Nicolen, shawnn@tmn.com

9606.
Look in the mirror,
no one knows they are not yours.
SPAM-plants: safe, tasty.

--Alison

9607.
Plastic surgeons in
the U.S. lump together
spare parts--FrankenSPAM.

--Alison pink art girl and TEd, acw4@hotmail.com

9608.
Ignorance is Jeff
Katz and dogs in the morning
Good SPAM is no SPAM

--Sleeping Dogs

9609.
Ate some SPAM today.
This is what I have to say:
Pinko invention.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9610.
Me and Donald Trump
eat some SPAM with Helen Crump
when we're at the dump.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9611.
Cute and cuddly lamb
Innocent, it asks for love
But you gave it SPAM?!?!?

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9612.
I heard SPAM talking--
it wants my brain for science.
Address: Funny Farm.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9613.
Desperate suspect
tells the world he's innocent
then turns SPAM on self.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9614.
Kids playing, laughing
They who never ate the SPAM
Age of innocence

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9615.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.
Who the hell you think you are?
Get back in that can!

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9616.
Found a can of SPAM
in the whale who beached himself.
Solved that mystery.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9617.
Anti-SPAMku league
run by liberal women.
You know how it goes.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9618.
I wrote a song for
SPAMela Lee Anderson.
I love her blue can.

--midlife crisis, debbyb@email.msn.com

9619.
SPAM consistency:
In can, mouth, belly, on can;
Much of a muchness.

--doc m

9620.
Jefferson a Man;
Pool, mirror. Cherry flower
Carried on no wind.

--Jon Sjogren, jon.sjogren@afosr.af.mil

9621.
Incredible SPAM
Morphing into wait oh no
Mickey D's McRib

--Wonald Mc Donald, Flacid fries@McDs.shop

9622.
What is the pink stuff,
All flubbery in the can?
Why, that must be SPAM!

--Anonymous

9623.
Ex-SPAM reveler
disappointed, finds that it
causes cancer too.

--becca, ansel@partlycloudy.com

9624.
The backside of life
Firm, plump, pink, and so juicy
Got to have your SPAM

--Spam Me Mammy, ILovitt@pres.net

9625.
Refrigerator
Overflowing with pink mass
Spamzilla is born

--Theanon, Fergettit@best.net

9626.
West Virginia hills
SPAM for the eye and the soul
Cheez Whiz capped mountains

--Bubba Littleman, Traders55@aol.com

9627.
K-Y jelly packed
Hot pink salty meat dripping
Lay me down with SPAM

--Hollywood Motel, Kisset@once.now

9628.
Little balls of SPAM
Fall out of my cat daily
In agony squats

--Flatulena , none needed

9629.
It tastes like chicken
It is the supreme being
I worship the SPAM

--C.J Lucia, Calvin21cj@aol.com

9630.
Sun, chrysanthemum,
A water lily drifting,
SPAM slice, all is well.

--Ross B.

9631.
These words not asked for.
Why are you in my email?
Blue can, fat pink meat.

--Ross B.

9632.
Oh Basho in Hell
You are so ordinary
Come eat SPAM and die

--SmallMind, Traders66@aol.com

9633.
SPAM panty-liners
Never be lonely again
Just some food for thought

--San Francisco SALami, SALToU@worldnot.com

9634.
Jockstrap your SPAM man
Much hotter than a girlfriend
With the same I.Q.

--San Francisco SALami, SALToU@worldnot.com

9635.
Yes Wild Irish Rose
Compliments your meal of SPAM
Delicious upchuck

--Willie Wino, Cardboard@box.alley

9636.
SPAM's better than broads
It don't cheat, gossip, or nag
And has better taste

--Hee Haw Mc Graw, We'll Call U....NOT!

9637.
Fried with Velveeta
On Wonder Bread with ketchup
I always got sick

--Nancy Murrell, nmurrell@herald.com

9638.
Tighten your booty
Love Canal revisited
SPAM yo self momma

--Spam Lover, Don't Think so.

9639.
Marinate your SPAM
Pepto Bismol will do fine
Pink on pink delight

--Harry the Spam Man, HarryT@aol.com

9640.
SPAM if you want it.
Did you get any lately?
You'll get porked today.

--D. Arthur Whitemeet, Safesex@rubber.nut

9641.
I just loves my SPAM.
And I knows my SPAM loves me.
She leaves me flaaaccid.

--John and S. Pam, Johnpam @erols.net

9642.
Blissfully sizzling
With fried egg, seaweed, and rice
Musubi....Thank you!

--RAS

9643.
Cherry blossoms in
moonlight: the color of SPAM.
Must get my chainsaw...

--Basho in Hell

9644.
The smooth coolness of
the can of SPAM, flecked with grease
in the kitchen sink.

--Basho in Hell

9645.
How admirable!
To look at SPAM and not think
that life is fleeting.

--Basho in Hell

9646.
Morning, wake to find
an aquarium graveyard:
fed fish SPAM last night.

--Basho in Hell

9647.
In the land of SPAM
We hail the six kings of spam
Monty Python; yea!

--Maps Palindrome

9648.
Mauled by rabid pig!
Was my dream true? I awake:
empty cans of SPAM.

--Basho in Hell

9649.
10,000 SPAMku.
Not something to be proud of.
Ever read Gibbon?

--Basho in Hell

9650.
Sometimes I strap SPAM
onto the back of my cat
just to confuse it.

--Basho in Hell

9651.
Pakistan alarmed:
India tests SPAM bomb. Pork
fallout shocks Muslims.

--Ben Leash

9652.
Unsolved mystery:
spontaneous combustion.
SPAM's to blame, somehow...

--Basho in Hell

9653.
The SPAMness of SPAM:
Who can describe it? It's like
a bad Zen koan.

--Basho in Hell

9654.
monosyllabic
oleaginous offal
conglomeration

--Basho in Hell

9655.
Then one summer day,
SPAM came knocking on my door.
"Fetch my gun," I said.

--Basho in Hell

9656.
Meat packers' mistake:
bits of tenderloin in SPAM.
Contamination!

--Basho in Hell

9657.
SPAMku quality:
sometimes good, sometimes lousy.
SPAM, though--always bad.

--Basho in Hell

9658.
SPAM is just so good
Pink and meaty stuff it is
Yum! Pass me a spork

--A poet

9659.
Oh child before me
You do gobble the pink chunks
Your mother's not home

--Dan Herod, dherod@cris.com

9660.
No mention of SPAM
in "Martha Stewart Living."
Where'd she learn to cook?

--Basho in Hell

9661.
Flatulently I
Roar across the bedsheets stained
For the love of SPAM

--Beano, Phrrt@anytime.now

9662.
Mother-in-laws were
Once beautiful animals
And too was my SPAM

--Inlawful Acts, Deepsixem@ll

9663.
Petunia me love
Need you so bad in the can
SPAM toilet tissue

--Spamrhoids, Clogged@llup

9664.
For the love of meat
Listen to me for god's sake
Don't ever eat SPAM

--S.Pam's Friend, Sufferin@aol.com

9665.
SPAM is like herpies
Stings the sexual organs
Forever it is

--Anonymous, anonymous

9666.
I love you truly
Dildorific SPAM lover
Bubbas come and go

--Hilarity Clinton, hotbox@unowhere

9667.
Blowing chunks of pork
Upon the sacred altar
SPAM enlightenment

--A. Blinkin', JoshB@coldmail .com

9668.
My love's name is SPAM
She screams EAT ME from the can
But the door is locked

--Buster, Buster@spry.net

9669.
SPAM was my teacher
There's no apple for you teach
Eat yourself and die

--Spam Yo'sef, Johnson@edu.net

9670.
Policemen eat it
And I know you know it's true
Crumb-free SPAM for me

--A. Copper, Loveitt2@aol.com

9671.
My dog is named Spam.
We put him back in the can.
Now that was a chore.

--PetSpam, Woofwoof@no.more

9672.
Fry my hide it's SPAM!
Delicious out of the can.
May we use yours girl?

--Kentucky Blue, Ken@spry.net

9673.
King Elvis ate SPAM.
Look at what it did for him.
Oh yes, he's still dead.

--Colonel Parker, Colonel@corn.net

9674.
Jackknifed load of SPAM.
Didn't cause a traffic jam.
Pink lines screamed speed up!

--BST Driver, Freewayjoe@erols.net

9675.
Thou shalt not steal SPAM.
Is a needless commandment.
No one's that hungry.

--Moses Seddit, anonymous

9676.
Wide load Mamma Cass
Hail queen of Spammer jammers
Deep throat SPAM no more

--Spammy Fr. Alabammy, Mt.cass@OArelapse

9677.
Beanie Baby crazed
Low-life collectortainers
Should eat SPAM and die

--Beanie Babiy Boobs, Tammyfaye@last.edu

9678.
SPAM ate Bill Clinton,
Sucked out his tiny pink brain.
Leftover's for us.

--Janet Reno, Rhymes with Beano* tm

9679.
Just read 'em and weep,
Ninety-eight hundred SPAMku.
Welfare cheese tastes great.

--If You Got The SPAMku, We've Got The Time.

9680.
Honolulu treat
All soft and warm and gooey
SPAM and egg sandwich

--Mike Cusick, mjcusick@sttl.uswest.net

9681.
Jack and Jill ate SPAM.
Then went up and down the hill.
Hormel Hershey squirts.

--Mother Goosed, OO2late2.educate

9682.
Little Jack Horner,
Blew SPAM chunks in the corner,
Should have ate the pie.

--Mother Goosed, OO2late2.educate

9683.
Spampax..... pork of peace.
As advertised on T.V.
Feel safe and secure.

--Fo Sumyung Ting, Local@socal.com

9684.
Pig farm in a can.
Reassemble the pieces.
SPAM recreations.

--Suie Petunia, Anonyswineous

9685.
One lit M-80.
Added to one can of SPAM.
Food fight Hormel style.

--Spamfettiousness, FeedDworld.not

9686.
Howie Carr IS SPAM.
But Virgin Boy IS the show.
Blue can Howie Carr.

--Virgin Boy RULZ!, Howie@wrko.com

9687.
Can't talk about SPAM.
SCREAMING BLOODY LUNCHMEAT RULZ!
Spamquilize me now.......

--Spamsong, ibflatw/oSpam

9688.
I'm at the crossroads.
Will it be heaven or hell?
SPAM ain't got no horns.

--Spamku U2, gotthavvit@once

9689.
Sizzling in the pan
In "The Last Supper's" kitchen
Behind the artist

--Leonardo Ugoofed, Mona@smile.edu

9690.
Oh, the last supper?
You know it had to be SPAM.
Salt was not needed.

--Leonardo De Spamci

9691.
Pasta and meatballs!
Judas, is that SPAM I smell?
Edit the painting.

--Spammy Hammy, adoublewhammy@last

9692.
What price doth SPAM pay
Rude butts of jokester's play....I
I eat it anyway!

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9693.
Though heart doth toil and
Arteries so strain blood's flow
SPAM shall nourish soul

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9694.
Why be so repulsed
Pig dies, flies crawl, filmy eyes
Is it not LIFE'S FOOD?

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9695.
What would the turd be
That falls from ass of SPAM beast?
Cubed and pink and moist?

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9696.
Hoist The SPAM matey
Use it to grease down my schlong
We're out of KY

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9697.
Squeeze bologna, ham,
beef, boogers, shit in square can--
Call it SPAM, man!

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9698.
Sex and food don't mix
or do they....do you pork meat...
or does SPAM pork you????????

--Pressedham Don`tknap, docyoga@aol.com

9699.
your spamming sickens
sweet pink flesh lusts hungrily
vomiting poems

--djhutfav, jfavors@earthnet.com

9700.
GODDAM GROSS FUCKERS
MAKIN ME SICK WITH THIS SHIT
RAGE MAKES SPAM-HUNGER

--Pressedham Don`tknap, PIGMALEON@SQUAT.COM


Move forwards to Numbers 9701-9800.
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John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.