What would you think if I chmodded it wrong Would you take my commit bit from me Lend me your box and I'll package your files And I'll try to be lintian-clean Oh, I get by with a little debhelper from my friends Mmm, I d-i with a little debhelper from my friends -- all the lonely processes where do they all come from all the lonely processes where do they all belong andersk's barnowl waits for an AFS callback from two days ago no packet came kchen's renew script sleeps for an hour in a loop to tell Anders his tickets and tokens expired debuild's conserver writing the logs of a stack trace that no one will read no one will debug broder and geofft waiting for vinegar-pot to stop spewing at us what do we care -- It's been a hard drive write And I've been writing to the log It's been a hard drive write I should be serving someone's blog But when I check $HOME for you I find that sda2 Lost all its sectors last night -- I think I'm gonna be sad I think it's today, yeah The code that's driving me mad Is crashing away I've got a ticket to zwrite I've got a ticket to zwri-ite I've got a ticket to zwrite But it don't ack -- Hello tooling my old friend I've come to speak with you again Because a lecturer softly speaking Taught his class while I was sleeping But the thoughts that were planted in my brain Still remain Within the sound Of science And in the lecture hall I saw Two fifty people maybe more People watching without learning People typing without listening People taking notes they later never used Nor reviewed To learn the sound Of science Fools, says he, you do not know How science says that cancer grows Hear my words that I might teach you Take my notes that I might reach you But his words like silent raindrops fall And echoed in the halls Of science -- Subversion 25,600 changesets Subversion 25000 changes so dear Subversion 25,600 changesets How do you measure, measure a year Measure in code Source lines of code -- Masquerade! iptables on parade! -- Imagine there's no distros It's easy if you try No RHEL below us Above us only sky Imagine all the coders Living in harmony Imagine there's no patents It isn't hard to do Nothing to sue or buy for And no GPL too Imagine all the hackers Living life in peace You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the code will be as one Imagine no releases I wonder if you can No cycles or code freezes Just running HEAD's the plan Imagine all the people Sharing all the code You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one -- I was once a prefrosh I lived on Black Hole But I never got to join SIPB or APO I was only three months hosed But I joined the rest And now listen, little cruft To my pillars quest Did you ever see a twinkie Scritch a twinkie On the twinkie Twinkie twinkie Hostess twinkie Twinkie twinkie cruft -- This application thinks it'll write to $HOME But local disks are all that it's author's ever known It tries to make a FIFO, that won't work in AFS Doesn't check the error, it proceeds to fill the disk, ohhh And it's too late to debathenize It's too late It's too late to debathenize It's too late -- JUST AN UPSTREAM PATCH SITTING IN A LONELY REPO IT TOOK THE MIDNIGHT UPDATE TO ANYWHERE JUST A DESYNC'D JOB RUN FROM CRON AND RUN FROM AT NOW THAT MIDNIGHT UPDATE AIN'T GOIN' ANYWHERE UPDATES WAITING UP AND DOWN THE CLUSTER ROWS DON'T START-STOP-DAEMON HOLD ON TO THAT CONTROLLING TTY -- Thousands of zombies in ps One day they all disappear We'll wait till we reap all our children They'll never know we were here I forked so I could haunt you -- My thesis glows all night long My code is too slow and the data's gone Cover letter, cover letter get me a job -- You gave me an office key So you could work on scripts with me But I don't want your e-mail " You told me some old history So that you could wank at me But we don't want your e-mail " -- I want your Pharos, your hold and relase I want your everything as long as it's free I want to print, print print print I want to print You and me could write a bad print manager -- JUST MOVE ON FROM USING SUN THERE'LL BE PCS WHEN YOU ARE DONE LEAVE YOUR WEARY SOLARIS DON'T PORTNOY NO MORE -- EHLO EHLO baby, you mailed, I can't parse a thing The protocol you're speaking isn't standard conforming You're advertising options that my server doesn't speak Sorry I can't send your mail, go read the RFC Go read the RFC Go read the RFC -- What is prime? Baby don't factor don't factor no more -- We don't need no authentication We don't need no job control No dark ink used in the cluster Pharos, leave those kids alone! Hey! Pharos! Leave those kids alone! -- 'Cause it's Jeff Schiller, Schiller's here And no one's gonna stop him and the stories he will tell 'Cause it's Jeff Schiller, Schiller's here You're seeing the machine rooms on Jeff Schiller's, Schiller's tour -- You can python if you wanna, you can leave syntax behind. 'Cause your perl don't parse, and if it can't parse Then it ain't no code of mine -- It's been one week since you censored me Substring-matched my band's name for the word "naked" Five days since you filed a ticket You realized your code was wrong, but what could you do Three days since the change request Created a whitelist and added us to it Yesterday it had been deployed But it'll still be two days till we're back on Google -- If you're having GNU problems, I feel bad for you, son I've got 26 options but dash-dash ain't one -- I'm not here for your entertainment I just wanted you to fix my code tonight Just stop and take a second I was fine before you merged your branch with mine -- It's fun encrypting with R-X-G-K! It's fun encrypting with R-X-G-K! You can use AES! You can use real crypto! You can not get hacked in a day! Young man Why are you using DES I said young man Your keytab is a mess I said young man Fifty-six bits is less Than you need to talk securely -- I'm your only tab I'm not your only tab But I'm a little running tab But really I'm not actually a tab But I am Chrome canary in the channel from the dev team Who watches over you? Make a little renderer called Blink Not to put too fine a point on it We've got a monoculture called WebKit Make a little renderer called Blink I have a spec to fulfill I interpret HTML It's a very complicated format full of whistles and bells So the browser listens to me Parse my input vigilantly And follow algorithms written by what double-you gee I update constantly Like the ???? I never rest There's a picture opposite me Of my primitive ancestry That ran on KDE and kept the codebase Netscape-free While I respect that a lot I'd be fired if that were my job After killing ACID off and countless screaming Googlebots -- All the votes and the wanking, and the losing it all The time that we wasted, and the place where we fall Will we wake in the morning, and know what it was all for? Up in our office, after the war? -- Gonna take a latte to take me away from you There's nothing that a hundred herbal teas could ever do I roast the beans down in Africa Gonna take some time to brew the things we never have --- She's up all night to checksum I'm up all night with RAID-1 We're up all night with this LUN We're up all night to get lucky" --- Comin' out of real mode And I've been doing just fine Gotta turn off A20 Because I want it all It started out a cache miss How did it end up like this It was only a cache miss (it was only a cache miss) Now I'm paging from disk And it's not calling poll 'Cause it's blocked on a read Without process control Uninterruptible sleep And my process has crashed Overflowing the heap And it's going to thrash now Clearing out its cache now Let me go No signal 9 is killing me Or taking control Kernelspace, can't debug it with strace Running with no interrupts Till our data's all corrupt But it's just an INT 0x80 Userspace is calling me open(), read(), and fcntl() 'Cause I'm Mr Kernel -- Arial man, Arial man does everything a sans serif can. What's he like? It's not important. Arial man. Is he roman or is he oblique? When he's letterpressed, does he undergo heat? Or does the heating undergo him? Nobody knows, Arial man. Helvetica man, Helvetica man, Helvetica man hates Arial man. They have a fight, Helvetica wins. Helvetica man.