[INTRO]
Intercom: Guys, Michael Bolton is here.
Andy: Oh great, send him in.
Michael: Hey, guys.
All: Hey, thanks for coming.
Andy: How's it goin'?
Michael: I'm really sorry I'm late, I just got caught up on reading
         sipb-private threads...have you seen those things?
All: Oh yeah, those are great.
Michael: Well I checked out the track and I loved it, and I wrote you
         this big, sweeping motion I think you're gonna really dig.
Andy: Oh wow, that's great. You wanna just lay it down?
Michael: Guys, let's get to it. (to it to it to it)

[ANDY]
Here we go.
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton. (Michael: YEAH) 
The meeting starts now,
on the whack,
the gavel smack.
The meeting starts...
Welcome to the SIPB meeting, officer's report.
Wanna buy a null modem for my serial port. (Michael: Serial port!)
I second, white ballot, allocation passes.
zephyr servers fell over / cause of all the unclasses. (Michael: Un un!)

[JORMA]
Got a hackathon this weekend, everybody should come;
Y Combinator's got us sponsored
With free T-shirts from alums. (Michael: Free clothes!)
Any other, any other other, anything else
for any report of this meeting [beat] meeting ad--

[MICHAEL]
This is the tale / of "sipb-dash-private".
Prospective so brave / when he writes in C. (Andy: What?)
I know you said / that he sucks at coding,
but he's here a whole lot: / let's member him, please!

[AKIVA]
Yeah, that was not okay 'cause we're not in closed session.
Keep that outta the minutes and use more discretion. (Michael: Nomination!)
If you wanna nominate someone, first talk to the chair
'cause if it fails that's a mess and the prospectives will get scared! (Michael: Election!)

[ANDY]
Teach a class for IAP! It's sooner than you think!
Hesiod is broken if you're running it from fink.
Cluedumps start tomorrow with an intro to Athena,
and we changed the office root password, it's now--(Michael: Now back to the good part!!!)

[MICHAEL]
From the day he was born, (Ugh)
he yearned to be membered. (Andy: NO!)
Oh, sipb-private, (Jorma: Yeah)
why do you object?
We wanked about this (Uhhuh)
for the last two elections;
we membered them still--
were we not correct? (Akiva: Yeah, we've seen the thread.)

[ANDY]
Put your hands in the air
and vote hell yeah, come on!

[MICHAEL]
Applesauce! (Andy: What?)
Double space! (Andy: No)

[JORMA]
Minutes up for review,
saved in AFS, come on!

[MICHAEL]
Officeheads! (Jorma: Nope)
Name them all! (Jorma: Wrong)

[AKIVA]
Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to FT-GOS.

[MICHAEL]
Roger that, let me try it with another list. (Andy: Wait)
Life is a set of help tickets 'cause I'm reading scripts RT. (Andy: Not better)
Though we rarely have an empty queue,
I answer each one that I see. (Akiva: Which is none...)
Okay, then I'm a cabling mess:
sipb-machine-room is my name. (Akiva: Oh god)
Then you can call me rms,
and each day I'll write a flame! (Andy: Close enough)
You software licensers wanna play loose?
Okay, AGPL! HA HA!

This is the tale
of csail-related. (This is the tale!)
Off-topic, I know,
but I'm undeterred. (Akiva: Unsubscribe)
Wrote some awesome new code?
Don't run it on Windows!
Follow Snowden's example
and switch to the HURD!
(Switch to the HURD!) (Andy: Okay, it turns out Michael Bolton goes into my kill file.)
GNU slash Linux! (Andy: Yup, yeah okay)