Lodz, (November) 1925 To my most beloved and most devoted nephew and his dear wife, Esther Zissman, Last week, I sent you a letter from Opoczno about your grandmother's illness which you will read without too happy a heart. I can let you know that I was in Opoczno for ten days. I was summoned by telegram and, truly, I found my mother seriously ill. The doctors say that she is suffering from a kidney disease. Therefore, her heart has been weakened, her feet are swollen. In fact, she's been abed for several months, but sometimes she feels better and sometimes worse. Really, she has a lot of nourishment. She's not lacking any milk and honey at my sister's, but I don't have to write to you about the lack of order at a bakery. I don't have to write you that the hullabaloo and the heat and the dirt do not work to the benefit of a sick person, not to speak of an old, worn out mother. When I left yesterday, my mother was really feeling better. Up to yesterday, she didn't tell me to leave, but yesterday she told me to go home. May G-d grant that I hear good news about the state of her health! Believe me, dear Sol, I wrote you a letter from Opoczno that I am sure you will cry when reading, but don't condemn your uncle because I wrote that letter not with ink but with tears. It was exactly 2:00 in the morning. Everyone was asleep except for me. I was sitting at the bedside of my old, ill mother, and I was absorbed in her...and I really had a heavy heart. And if a person gets into difficulty or when he finds himself in a tight spot or in trouble, then one wants to talk it out or cry on the shoulder of a close relative or a friend, and I don't have anyone other than you. My devoted one, don't interpret this as an attempt to take advantage of you with such a letter so that you should send your grandmother some money which would eventually fall into my hands, chas v'cholilah. Your money is precious to me. I know very well that, if you had the wherewithal, you would send without being reminded. Furthermore, up to now my mother is not, chas v'cholilah, lacking anything at Esther's, other than her health. And, at the same time, my brother-in- law, Lazer, in this situation is exceptional. He treats his mother-in-law better than his own mother; perhaps because of this merited action, he is able to make a living. You see, Shloyme, I can't accomplish what my brother-in-law, Lazer, can...therefore, I am destined to suffer, and, truly, I suffer... When I left Opoczno, I also asked that they make you aware immediately concerning your grandmother's state of health, about her improvement, and so on. Now, my devoted one, I will attempt to answer your dear and devoted letter which I found when I returned home to Lodz. First of all, I write to thank you and your wife for the goodness of heart that you demonstrate to your uncle time after time. I received the $10 check and, as is true each time, it drew a tear to my eyes. Maybe, dear Sol, another person in my place would be more interested in the money; I am more interested in your sensible letter which I know how to value. As to your writing that my last letter, written on the eve of Yom Kippur touched you to tears, so let me make it clear to you that a person experiences moments when he is so bewildered, so pressured, that one's heart becomes heavy, one's eyes flow with tears and, at such a time, the pen doesn't need to wait for material. The pen writes by itself, without any dictation, without any forethought. Isn't that true, Sol? I detect it in your letters too, whether at the time of Ruchel's operation, her attitude toward your father's $50, etc. Do you think, Sol, that I laughed reading your words? I wept profusely, as did my wife and the children. May G-d grant her a full recovery. May she be completely well and may I be worthy to see her before my eyes in good health! With respect to the way your father reacted to the seriousness of the matter, it's not appropriate to assess it on paper. It's enough to say that I believe that you are up to the task and are acquainted with the laws of the land. Sometimes, when a person is lost in the middle of a journey, it's necessary to show him the right path. I hope that your father will remind himself that there is a G-d in heaven who is also a father of orphans! I pray that, in so far as possible, you will have a good relationship and, with conviction, convince him how easily a person's life is judged, particularly (as to) such a dear young child. Alas, my sister, why don't you arise and take a look at how and with whom you left your children...and why must they suffer so much? Didn't you suffer enough...and how long can this continue? How long can it last this way? I think that help is close and that it must come as quickly as possible. Further, my devoted one, you write that, since you have been getting letters from me, you have not received such a terrible letter from me! So, I repeat what caused me to write you such a letter. As you know, Sol, there is in Poland a dreadful crisis, poverty, hunger, unemployment. A year and a half ago, when I began to deal with suits, we didn't yet sense such a crisis. I won't say that things were great, but in any event I was able to adjust. (Not) like today. You want to know the reason why I was able to then and why I can't now? First of all, I received credit from merchants. Secondly, I borrowed money on interest, and Lazer loaned me $50 and, most important, if a customer wanted to buy something from me, he made a downpayment of 20% or 30%. From the downpayment, I was able to buy merchandise and take my few gulden of profit that was necessary to make a living. Besides that, if Shloyme sent a small check, it served for shoes, for clothing for the children, as long as it was in a respectable manner. But when Grabski began to pressure and to squeeze, and when the manufacturers began to jump off the 3rd and 4th stories, and merchants began to go bankrupt, everything came to a halt. Manufacturing, commerce, collections, etc. Naturally, the three merchants to whom I owed more than $100 cut off my credit; they didn't want to loan me another cent. And the creditors to whom I owed money on interest also began to demand the principal. I note here that I owe 200 gulden to a daughter of Aunt Breindel, 200 gulden to a daughter of Aunt Dina Raisel and 250 gulden to other members of the family. And all of them wanted their money at one time, except for my brother-in-law, Lazer. To be brief, the bottom line is not good; I owe money not (only) to merchants but to family; I have a deficit of more than $120 in my account book; I can't make any payments because my customers are not paying me; and merchants don't give me any more credit to enable me to turn things around. And above all, it was Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Succoth when we in Poland have to provide all the trimmings, and I go in to a customer and anticipate that this will be the week that he gives me fifty cents; he answers that it's holiday time, he doesn't earn anything, there's no work, Scheibler also doesn't pay, Poznyski is also protesting. I stand and look at him straight in the eyes and try to convince him that my family and I are simply starving. I am not asking him for charity, chas v'cholilah, but for what I have coming. But my asking helps "just like suction cups help someone who is dead." I run around all day long and, when I come home on the eve of Yom Kippur, my wife immediately asks me, "Do you have any money?" I don't answer because I (have) no answer for her and my children. Here it is a holiday; I have nowhere to borrow because I live among Christians, workers and they themselves are starving and, unexpectedly, it becomes dark (in the house). To be brief, there was a pressure on my heart, and I had to leave my home for several hours in order to withstand the temptation of a human being (to commit suicide)... Arriving home, my wife showed me that they had brought her $10 from the post office. Well? At that time, I wrote you my letter under all the circumstances that had befallen me. And if you wept, Sol, at my letter, there is no fault attributable to me. I hope that the time will come when we will rejoice, as it is written: As you sow, so shall you reap. No matter how much you, my devoted child, want your uncle to write you cheerful letters, I want it even more. How happy I would be if I were to write you cheerful news of my life. When I look around at myself, at my situation, (I think) how unfortunate I am to have been born. It's true, that in you I found everything, my devoted child, not only devoted, but a friend, and a benefactor when there is need, and a co-planner for the future. However, it's like a knife in my heart understanding that you are carrying heavy stoves to the fourth and fifth floors to earn a dollar for yourself and your wife and your closest ones. Then I, your uncle, come and burden you on one side and your ill sister on a second side and your grandmother on a third side. Yes, Sol, I understand your situation too well and in what sort of predicament you find yourself when you want to demonstrate your heroism, your courage, your strength. You want to save the ill, help the hungry and needy, and you yourself are so weak, such a small person who, altogether, weighs 120 pounds. True it is, but your initiative is great, very great, not capable of being valued. You possess a rare human strength, your resolve is stronger than anything, your desire is strong enough to accomplish what your mind drives you to do. I believe and hope that you do a great deal for me so that I can come to America and help you in your difficult work. When two people carry a 300-pound stove, that's only 150 pounds apiece. Isn't that right, Shloyme? Yes, as I see it, I will have to suffer another year and another year, without any goal, without any purpose in life or hope for the future... If there were free immigration now, 80% of the Polish population would emigrate; the misfortune is that it is limited. A brother of my wife left for Canada two weeks ago; he received papers from a brother of his, a tailor. He was there at one time in Toronto, and now after twelve years of torment, he had to leave a wife and three children behind and depart to seek bread. And his brother, Hetske, is also a poor man and also wants to leave for somewhere else in the world. Unfortunately, he doesn't have enough to pay for a ticket. Sol, I am enclosing an article from a Canadian newspaper (about) a law that farmers and house servants can be requested (for immigration). There is talk that even in America the same law applies too. Look into it; perhaps you can take me out as a house servant for yourself so perhaps I would be able to go with your father-in-law. Concerning my informing myself about matzoh shmirah; I can let you know that nothing can be done here in Lodz, perhaps (it's available) in Warsaw; but it involves a lot of expense. I have heard that, currently, a certificate, i.e. with the permission of a relative or a friend, is sent directly to the counsel. If this is true, Sol, it's important for you to inform yourself with respect to the situation of your uncle. Beyond that, do everything that you can and that you have the means to do in order to save your uncle so that he will be able to live and exist, but not in Poland, rather in a land of opportunities. Concerning my informing myself about a store, I can't talk to anyone until I see your father-in-law before my eyes. I send heartfelt regards to you and your worthy wife, sisters and in-laws. My wife and children send thier hearfelt regards to all of you. Your grandmother, Uncle Lazer, Aunt Estherl send their best regards to all. From me, your uncle, Wolf Lewkowicz Please answer quickly. About three weeks ago, a certain Mr. Neifeld wrote you a letter and asked about an article which could be brought from Chicago. Write to let me know whether you received the letter from Mr. Neifeld and whether something came of it. Perhaps I could earn something in connection with it. It's not worthwhile to send mushrooms because they cost $1 a pound here. All material Copyright 1995 by Marshall L. Zissman and Sol J. Zissman.