30 January (1926)

If you have finished reading a letter of two large sides,
dated January 25, then begin to read this second letter, of
January 30.  As would be ordinary, I wanted to mail only the
first letter in which nothing is written about me.  But, my
devoted child, knowing with whom I am in written contact, I
calculated that I should get a letter from you any day now.
"Oh," you will say, "why (should I write) a letter?  Isn't my
father-in-law, Mr. Anker, just as good a representative as a
letter?"  Yes, it's true, that your father (-in-law) is very
dear to me, and as soon as I met him I didn't want to part
from him.  First of all, I enjoy talking to an intelligent
man.  Second, when I spoke to him, I imagined that I was
talking to the dearest and closest (person to me) in the
world.  Third, perhaps I thought it might be beneficial to me
too!  I don't know, Sol, if you sense in what high esteem I
hold you, not because you send me a few dollars, but as a
"mensch," in the full meaning of the word.  When I read your
letters and realize how much love and how much devotion you
express in them for me, I can truly tell you that I am
spellbound and hypnotized by them.  Another person in my
place might say, "So what?  Sol is rich.  He is doing well,
so he wants to do something for his uncle."  But I, Sol,
can't say that because, to the extent that I am aware and
have become convinced, you are far from being a wealthy man.
You are only rich in humanity and want to help everyone who
calls to you for help, particularly your uncle.  And who
knows better than I what you have done for me?  And who can
understand better than I, as I read your precious letters to
me, how you want to help me, not only with money, but with
all your strength?  I suspect that my words are superfluous
because our hearts know each other not from today and not
from yesterday.  Each word of yours, each line of reasoning,
I read with great concentration, and I say to you, my devoted
child, that the fact that G-d separated us, so that we are
not together in one city where we would be able to confide in
each other, I consider to be the greatest misfortune of my
life.  I can't say that your father (-in-law), Mr. Anker,
doesn't want to help me.  He is a very bright man and logical
in every respect.  But, nevertheless, dear Sol, sitting at
the table and speaking to him, I was in no way able to reveal
all of my hidden and unhidden trouble that you, Sol, with
your insight and your good heart would perhaps have
discovered in the deepest recesses of my heart.

No matter how much I spoke, I had to keep in mind that Mr.
Anker has a daughter who is your worthy wife, to 120 years.
If you want to help your uncle, it's not a sin.  But you dare
not deprive your wife; you dare not commit a sin against Mr.
Anker's daughter.

Up to now, your worthy father-in-law has granted me no more
than forty minutes of time.  Yes, Sol, I thought to myself
that if you were to come to Europe, wouldn't you give me
more than forty minutes?  It's true that he didn't have any
time.  I went with him to the bank to take care of things,and
we ate breakfast together.  He didn't want to eat at my
house; perhaps he didn't want the breakfast to cost me
anything...  But, Sol, none of this is an excuse as far as I
am concerned because if you were to come you would eat at my
house, sleep with me, and we would not talk for forty
minutes...but forty days, and we would have to come to some
conclusion.  I don't know whether it's because there is such
a quick pace to life there, everything according to a watch,
that one also has to speak according to a watch...or not.
But no, you won't be able to convince me of it.  When one is
considering an important life and death question such as
mine, one must give a person more than forty minutes.  But
it's not important, dear Sol, because one can really make a
decision to undertake something in five minutes.  But all
that I can relate to you of the conversation that took place
between us is as follows.  Your father-in-law wants to help
me, but not with your sort of passion, Sol.  He says that
nothing can be accomplished in an illegal way because he had
already inquired on the ship.  And, as far as Canada is
concerned, he says that my brothers-in-law should send papers
and then you will see what can be done.  With respect to
businesses in Poland, I did not speak with him at any length.
First of all, I don't think it's a good idea.  Second, if one
is speaking of leaving, one can't discuss businesses in
Poland.  Third, I assume that your father will be in Lodz
again and that we will talk about a variety of subjects!

But whatever happens, dear Sol, I tell you that my heart is
hardened, and I cannot speak on my own behalf, and I cannot
defend myself.  I suspect that, if you saw me keep still, you
would read a great deal into my silence.

Now, we have to put all these things aside and deal with the
Canada question.  Yes, it's quite simple.  I have two
brothers-in-law there.  They will send everything necessary,
and I am on my way...  You see, Sol, at these few words, one
has to stop and think about them carefully.  I received your
two letters today, one to me and one to Mr. Anker.  The one
for Mr. Anker I forwarded to Berszyn.  In the letter to me, I
read that you write that this time my brothers-in-law didn't
send you an answer from Toronto respecting me.  Yes, one can
laugh with bitter tears to learn of and to read this...  And
as I think about it, I ask, "Master of the Universe, why do I
deserve this?"  Perhaps I can review all my sins during the
whole seventeen years.  In fact, today is seventeen years
since you, Sol, began to study the Torah and since my wedding
took place on the fifteenth day of the month of Shevat.

I see plainly that iron walls are blocking my way.  My
circumstances are so tragic that the world is closing in on
me, and I am not able to help myself.  Every time I wanted to
save myself, I encountered obstacles.  Once, fourteen years
ago, your father wanted to take me out; your sainted mother
wouldn't let him because she thought he would return to
Europe.  Eight years ago, you and your father wanted to take
me out; then the (death) of my sainted sister took place.
Also, several years ago, my mother interfered with my
leaving.  Now that my mother finally agrees and everything is
moving along in order, I also feel that things are not going
to come easily because it's not proceeding as it should
proceed.

It's too early to blame anyone for my not being able to go.
Up to now, I realize that it's all attributable to my not
having any luck.  And if a person has no luck, he shouldn't
live in this world.

It is sad and painful indeed when a 40-year old person who
should be standing on the highest step of his life needs to
begin to go and find bread across the ocean.  Don't think,
Sol, that I don't understand everything.  I don't pretend
that everything will be wonderful in America.  I know very
well people work harder in America than in Poland.  But what
can I do?  Perhaps things will turn out well for me there.

You can see that I have tried everything, just like your
father in former times.  In the end, he had to emigrate.  I
don't know whether, if he were in Poland now, he would have
been able to accomplish anything.  The very same Noah
Chmielnicki who did business with him is a poor man today and
also wants to go somewhere else.  It is not appropriate to
say that this country is not the cause.  Ninety percent of
the Jews in Poland find themselves in a difficult situation.
And, you see Sol, if I want to save myself, believe me I
don't have myself in mind as much as I do my children whom I
want to bring up as "menschen," and I cannot.  What will
people say after my death as to the kind of children Wolf
left behind him, not mature, not educated.  And everything
presses me; I feel everything, but I can't help myself.

I feel, Sol, that I am stabbing you in the heart with my
words.  Yes, you commiserate with me, but what can you, a
small, powerless little person do for me?  Can you break the
iron walls which block my way???  When you called on my
wife's brothers to be helpful in the endeavor, I see how they
responded...  Sol, what is there to do now?

I am enclosing three newspaper articles.  One, "The Best
Livelihood," read now.  The other two are also important.

I see that they haven't begun to do anything for me, and
thought is already being given to a quota (on immigration)
to America from Canada.  Well, isn't all of this just my
luck?

I tell you, Sol, fortunate is the person who doesn't
understand the world, who can accept everything without
question, who thinks everything is fine, who is satisfied
with everything, fills himself and lives like an animal.  And
if one looks around this little world that G-d has created,
and how many people derive benefit from it, at least 99%,
willingly or unwillingly it evokes a sigh.  But I would very
much want to know whether my life is played out.  Will I be
able to save anything from (the rest of) my years?

Your father-in-law told me that your current store is
better than your previous stores.  You wrote the same thing
in your last letter.  I am very happy to hear this good
news.  You should be thankful to Esther.  Until you were
married, your business dealings were on shaky ground, and
now you will steadily become wealthier and better
established.

I also congratulate you on your first wedding anniversary
that will take place in fifteen days, on February 15.  May
G-d grant that on the celebration of your second wedding
anniversary I will have the honor to give you and your worthy
wife my wishes in person.

Sol, I ask that, after you have read my letters and, I am
sure, a letter from your father-in-law, you be good enough
to make a summary of the main points and answer quickly what
you plan to do if they do not send any documents, chas
v'cholilah.  Will I have to give up my plans completely or
wait and hope for a favorable moment???

So, I end my letter with heartfelt regards for you and your
whole family without exception.  My wife and children send
you heartfelt regards.  Separate regards from my son,
Joseph, as you call him.  He thanks you very much for the
$10 that Mr. Anker gave him.  Uncle Lazer, Aunt Esther and
your grandmother send their heartfelt regards to you.  From
me, your uncle, who hopes to hear good news until we see
each other.  Heartfelt regards from Mr. Anker.  Today, he
is in Berszyn.

                             With respect,

                             Wolf Lewkowicz

Do not read this letter for anyone; it is only for you!!!

As to Moshe Zilberspitz, don't have any aggravation.  For
now, things have calmed down and, with time, will be
forgotten.  It was not necessary to dwell on it because Lazer
is embarrassed.  Just this moment, I received two letters,
one for me and one for Mr. Anker; that letter I will
immediately send to Berszyn and to you (I send) such a long
letter.  Please answer promptly.


All material Copyright 1995 by Marshall L. Zissman and Sol J. Zissman.