Date: Sun, 18 May 1997 22:44:01 EDT From: late tink Subject: EXERCISE: Values (Love) #9 [Based on the book "Teaching Your Children Values" by Linda and Richard Eyre, ISBN 0-671-76966-9] (p. 168) "Individual and personal caring that goes both beneath and beyond loyalty and respect. Love for friends, neighbors, even adversaries. And a prioritized, lifelong commitment of love for family." First, we learn to love by serving others. Second, we learn to love by being loved unconditionally. "She never tells you to be different...she just seems to love you no matter what." "The principle: We may not always love those who serve us. Their love, depending on how it is given, can spoil us, or intimidate us, or even antagonize us. But unconditional, understanding, fully accepting love warms us without reservation and brings about our reciprocal love. And while we may not necessarily love those who serve us, we _will_ love those whom we serve." "General Guidelines" 1. Clearly separate dissatisfaction with behavior from love of person. 2. Develop a service orientation. 3. Provide and allow for apology and forgiveness. I.e., love and improvement are more important than punishment and penalty. Some observations/games... 1. Anonymous giving--can you do something for someone anonymously? 2. Don't forget to show physical love. Hugs and "I love you"s are good for everyone. 3. Set an example of tolerance--our way is not the only way. 4. Teach people how to look for those who need help. The simple question "did you help anyone today?" repeated daily can remind us to watch for opportunities to help. Let's see...how about a number from one to six? Pick your saying, pick it true, pick your playing, make it new! 1. "Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; re-made all the time, made new." Ursula K. Le Guin 2. "Love, like chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken on blind faith or it loses all it's flavor." Helen Rowland 3. "Love sometimes is like the flower of the wild poppy; you can't carry it home." Jaroslav Seifert 4. "Love washes on me like rain on a dead man's shoes." Ellen Gilchrist 5. "The man who is not loved hovers like a vulture over the sweetheart of others." Victor Hugo 6. "Our love is like the misty rain that falls softly...but floods the river." African proverb [similes courtesy of Falser than a Weeping Crocodile and Other Similes by Elyse and Mike Sommer, ISBN 0-8103-9414-6] A simile...how about a reality? Another number from one to six, if you please? 1. a gamecock (a male fowl of the species!) 2. a bunch of plantain (kind of a fat banana) 3. a barnacle (you know, the shellfish?) 4. a watchcase (engraved and fancy? or plain and worn? you decide!) 5. an iguana 6. an opus (the music goes on and on...) While you may not have one handy, do take a few moments to let your mental fingers, eyes, and other senses concentrate on this reality. Make some notes about it--what color is it? What does it smell like? Does it have any distinctive markings? If you had to pick it out in a police lineup, what would make you sure that this was the one? So we have a simile to smile about, a piece of reality that may intrude somewhere, and we probably need some conflict, some trouble to coalesce the drifting plot. How about one to six? 1. illness 2. religious differences 3. work 4. financial problems 5. crime (you pick the one you like...) 6. demands of duty Okay! So, we should probably start by drafting a few characters. Your choice as to the relationships, but I'd suggest starting with at least two characters, and usually three. Decide who is going to be the POV character, and just how the conflict and the love are going to play in this story. Sketch out the scenes introducing us to the place, the people, the action, the means used, and the motivation--what drove our characters to this? How does the simile enter in, and where does the touch of reality settle into this play? Then fill it out and make it a tale for all time. Look forward to reading it! tink