>>> Item number 21582 from WRITERS LOG9311D --- (44 records) ----- <<< Date: Sat, 27 Nov 1993 05:00:03 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: SUB: That Old Home Lasagna another short and odd... holiday flavored! tink That Old Home Lasagna Copyright 1993 Mike Barker The lasagna screamed when she put it in the oven. She poked it with a long-tined fork, checking that the chains were tight, then slid it on into the oven. Then she looked at me, with that fork in her hand. Her lip slid upward from a yellowing fang. What a woman! I hadn't felt so much at home in years! I could feel the tensions of work sliding away, just watching her. And when the fork came down, splintering the table, I was ready! Later, looking in, the cheese seemed melted and brown. But when we tried to open the door, that rascal had a grip on it and refused to let go. Even a prybar and electric knife attacks failed to convince the cheesehead that it was going to have to surrender sometime. We turned up the heat and went back to playing dodge. Most of the forks were broken now, but she still had several knives, and some tricky, tricky throws to take my fingers off with. Who needs Las Vegas when you've got hometown girls like this around to help you separate body and soul, eh? It was getting late when we looked again. The black crust sagged and puffed, revealing strange greenish-yellow crevices in the interior that seemed to melt and flow, moving, sucking, almost breathing. But when we tried the oven door again, that lasagna had it in a deathgrip. So, I gave up and went back to the dormitory. I think it all goes to show there's no lasagna for the wicked. The End tj did it... - EVERYONE!!!!! DON"T LET KAYO COOK ANYTHING FOR YOU. IT COULD - BE LETHAL!!!!! Ask her about the lasagna she slopped together - for us. It SCREAMED after being placed into the hot oven and - refused to let her serve it to us once it looked sufficiently - melted and brown.