>>> Item number 25548 from WRITERS LOG9402B --- (58 records) ----- <<< Date: Wed, 9 Feb 1994 05:30:03 JST Reply-To: WRITERS Sender: WRITERS From: Mike Barker Subject: SUB: Now Hiring (not me... I'm still looking...) tink ----------------------------- from the back pages of Vanity, the newspaper for characters... Now Hiring. Nice family plot, scenic, some travel required. Previous characters reluctantly let go due to lack of persona conflicts. Prefer good characters without previous references to avoid infringements. Must be available soonest. Depending on sales, could lead to continuing employment in series work. Apply Apartment B, Block 9, 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Villa of the Muses, Big City. Do you know how to take charge? Island romance floundering due to loss of unleading man. No perverts! Apply in confidence to Pucker Up Petunia, P.O. Box 000000. Have spacesuit, will travel? Golden Age Space Opera waiting for you to take off. Save large cast of B.E.M.s from forced retirement. Radio to Centauri using channel 39456.78 now. Ready to off yourself in an interesting way? Literary suicides needed for short short. Must have impressions and solid advanced anomie. Call before author beats you to it. 1-800-555-1212. If no answer, position no longer open. Long-term engagement open for serious characters only. No beginners. Must be able to sustain interest in new trilogy (currently expected to run at least five or six volumes, each about 1000 pages). Contract expected anyday. Writing will begin as soon as characters hired. You will be expected to provide scenery, plot, conflicts, and other non-essentials as needed. No amateurs accepted! Do you like kids? I hate them, but I'm stuck with a plot and other junk suited to the rats. I still have a few open spots for cutesy animals and other idiots to make the kids happy. Go ahead and apply - if you make me sick with your sugar and light attitude, you're in. No agents. Little Suckers, 1 Children's Walk, on the damned prairie. Pssst! Back here in the dark. Have great idea for mystery setting. Plot optional. If you're willing to stir up blood, guts, like to participate in car chases, and can make long monologues interesting, I've got just the story for you. The right character for this position will know how to find me. Be seeing you! thank you, jc... - Fire them and put an ad in the Help Wanted section of your journal for - a replacement. and some people call it art... tink