The Engineers' Drinking Song (Lady Godiva) ^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^ Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride To show the royal villagers her fine and pure white hide The most observant man of all, an engineer of course, Was the only one who noticed that Godiva rode a horse Chorus: We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers We can, we can, we can, we can, demolish forty beers Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum all day, and come along with us For, we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us! She said, "I've come a long, long way, and I shall go as far With the man who takes me from this horse and to a bar The men who took her from her steed and led her to a beer Were a bleary-eyed surveyor and a drunken engineer [Chorus] My father was a miner in the Northern Mulamute, My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute, The last time that I saw them, these words ran in my ears: GO TO MIT YOU SON OF A BITCH AND JOIN THE ENGINEERS! [Chorus] Rapunzel let her hair down for two suitors down below, So one of them could grab a hold and give the old heave-ho The prince began to climb at once, but soon came out the worst, For the Engineer rode up a lift, and reached Rapunzel first [Chorus] Caesar set out for Egypt at the age of fifty-three But Cleopatra's blood was warm, her heart was young and free And every night when Julius said good-night at three o'clock A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block! [Chorus] Ace towing roams the Cambridge streets each day and every night Towing cars and stowing cars to hide them out of sight They tried to tow Godiva's horse; the Engineers said, "Hey!" Then towed away their towing truck, and now the Ace must pay! [Chorus] Sir Francis Drake and all his ships set out for Calais Bay They'd heard the Spanish rum fleet was headed out that way But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day, And though as drunk as ptarmigans, you could still hear them say: [Chorus] The Army and the Navy went out to have some fun They went down to the taverns where the fiery liquors run But all they found were empties for the Engineers had come And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum [Chorus] An artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can Said the artsman, "Match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man." They drank three drinks, the artsman fell, his face was turning green But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline!" [Chorus] An Engineer once stumbled through the halls of Building 10 That night he'd drunken rum enough to drown a dozen men In fact, the only things there were that kept him on his course Were the boundary conditions and the Coriolis force [Chorus] I am a whore from Radcliffe and I fuck for fifty cents. I lay my ass upon the grass, my pants upon the fence. I'll let you rub my belly, or on Sunday fuck for free, But get off of me, you son of a B., if you're from M.I.T. [Chorus] A physics man from M.I.T. went out and drank his fill, And then went to a strip joint 'cause he had some time to kill. The motions that he witnessed there excited all his nerves, And he filled eleven napkins with equations of the curves. [Chorus] An MIT computer man got drunk one fateful night He opened up the console and smashed everything in sight When they finally subdued him, the judge he stood before, Said, "Lock him up for twenty years, he's rotten to the core!" [Chorus] Venus was a statue made entirely of stone Without a stitch upon her she was naked as a bone On seeing that she had no clothes, and Engineer discoursed "Why, the damn thing's only concrete, and should be reinforced!" [Chorus] A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park The Engineer was working on some research after dark His scientific method was a marvel to observe While his right hand wrote the figures, his left hand traced the curves [Chorus] Princeton's run by Wellesley, Wellesley's run by Yale Yale is run by Vassar, Vassar's run by tail Harvard's run by stiff pricks, the kind you raise by hand But M.I.T. is run by Engineers, the finest in the land [Chorus] MIT was MIT when Harvard was a pup And MIT will be MIT when Harvard's time is up And any Harvard Son of a Bitch who thinks he's in our class Can pucker up his rosy lips and kiss the beaver's ass [Chorus] An MIT surveyor once found the gates of Hell He looked the devil in the eye, and said "You're looking well" The devil looked right back at him, and said "Why visit me - You've been through Hell already; you went to MIT!" [Chorus] That engineer from MIT, he tried to enter heaven Saint Peter told the engineer, "Get back to building 7!" The engineer said he was damned if he was going home, So he climbed atop the roof, and dropped through heaven's dome... [Chorus] A friend in ol' New Haven called me up the other day. He said he was depressed because he hadn't got an A. I said to him, ``You idiot! Why did you go to Yale? If you had come to MIT you'd still be on Pass/Fail!'' [Chorus] My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear But they don't even speak to me, 'cause I'm an Engineer [Chorus] And should there be a Harvard man a-strolling our Great Court We'll fetch a pail of river gunk and make him drink a quart The water of the River Charles can fix his every flaw And the Engineers all drink it 'cause it makes us what we are [Chorus] Late one night, an engineer was lost in work and toil, He set off to find a darling girl to help discharge his coil. In no time at all he'd warmed her up, her resistance at a low... They fluxed until the morning's light, when their fuses, they did blow. [Chorus] Fornication, Copulation, Penetration, Fuck Rim job, reem job, nose job, blow job, cunnilingus, Suck Eating beaver, dipping wick, taking it up the rear; these words don't mean a thing to me cause I'm an engineer We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are; We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are; We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are; We are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are, we are: